Feeling sorry for myself *Rant alert*

[Autumnflower]

I'm feeling really low this week. My whole family is pregnant it seems (3 cousins and my sister *all their 2nd child) and I am happy for them... Its the random remarks I can't stand. I haven't told my family that we are trying to conceive because I fear the comments every month followed by disappointment. So as far as my family thinks I'm not interested in having kids. I've never said as much and my close family knows how much I love kids etc, I think they just assume I don't want kids right now because I never say otherwise. Because of these assumptions I get constant remarks about how thankful I should be that they're pregnant (because it takes the pressure off my husband and I), its always said in a humurous tone and I'm sure they mean well, but it kills me every time someone says it. I just want to scream that we are trying and failing to conceive our own child and every time some ignorant person makes a comment about how lucky we are I want to cry. I'm not lucky at all. I can't even do the one thing I am supposed to be able to do. Anyways, I am happy for my cousins and sister... I am. I just would be a lot happier if people would really think about what they say before they say it especially where fertility/family planning is involved. This whole ordeal really opened my eyes as to be careful what assumptions I make on others. You never really know what is going on in someone's life so don't assume anything.

Sorry about the rant I just had to get it out.

 

[Oldermummy78]

sorry you feel this way honey

Would you consider telling your sister ? Is it so bad if people did know your ttc would they not comment , or would they're comments become worse and pressurise you to know why your not concieving? Maybe your sis or cousins have been ttc for some time and your unaware?

Anyway sorry not much help just wanted to send you a and stress on itself will prevent ttc from happening

 

[brokenoven]

How long have you been trying?

People can be very insensitive without realizing it. Just know they aren't doing it intentionally. Even if they did know you were trying and did not have success, they would still say hurtful things that aren't meant to be hurtful.

I am sorry you are feeling this way. Depending on your age and how long you have been trying, you may have nothing to worry about and it's just a matter of time.

 

[sunflower82]

Aww hugs I know how your feeling
I feel the same way we are on month 15 of ttc so far
With no luck ttc for baby 2 I had a mc two years ago
At 18 weeks

 

[87BeautyQueen]

I know exactly how you feel, I felt like this too when trying for my first. It seems like everyone around you is pregnant and it's never going to happen to you. People are/can be insensitive and ask intruding questions. One of the stupid remarks that really hurt me was 'I thought you didn't want kids'! I had never said that ever, I absolutely love kids and we had been trying for a few months so it cut deep. We chose not to tell people we were trying but sometimes when we were asked if we'd ever have a baby I felt like crying, if only they knew. Sending a big hug to you x

 

[Autumnflower]

Thanks so much ladies! Your support means a lot! My husband and I have been TTC since last August, so about 10 months. When we hit the year mark we will be seeing our doctor to find out if there are any fertility issues with either of us. I'm feeling better today. Unfortunately telling our family we are TTC isn't a great option because within a few months they'd be offering unsolicited advice or constantly ask questions which would make everything more stressful for us. Its very isolating especially since we are the last ones in our families not to have children yet. I want to be able to tell people but I know the minute I do I'll regret it. Guess I have to just bite my tongue and deal with the random comments from family for now. I just hope we get the family we want soon too. I'm trying to stay positive! Thanks again ladies it helps to get it all out.

 

[AnnieMac2]

I totally feel you, Autumn. Every bit. That seemed more like a reasonable statement than rant to me

I don't understand why people don't consider how their words might make others feel.

I regret telling people we were planning on having children soon. I told just a handful of people I had a miscarriage after considering how being disappointed by their comments might make me feel. And even within the select group of people, there were some hurtful comments. It's too bad we have to protect ourselves when we most need support. On the other hand, I've discovered that I have some solid friendships that I'm now even more thankful for.

I think this kind of thing makes us all more compassionate though. I hope you get happy news soon!