Feelings...

[HearMyPrayers]

I'm currently 7 weeks 1 day pregnant with my rainbow baby. My DH and I have been TTC'ing for 5 years. We got pregnant last July via IUI with injection meds only to lose the baby in August.

I had my third ultrasound this morning, baby measures on target, heartbeat 132, everything is looking good. But I can't shake this weird feeling I have, its almost like everything I should be feeling (happy, elated, thrilled etc) I'm not, instead I feel scared, overwhelmed, insecure, nervous. I'm suddenly doubting myself on whether or not I will be a good mom, if I'm "ready" for all the changes that will come my way. I'm not sure if I'm protecting myself because I fear another loss, but I wish I was more excited than I am.

I'm blessed to have this miracle but I wonder if these feelings are normal?

 

[LulaBug]

Yup, all normal. You're in new ground now and you're bound to be feeling this way. I'm on my third baby and I STILL feel like it now. It always happens because you're facing the unknown even if you've had babies already.

Don't worry, I'm sure you'll be a fantastic mum

 

[2ducks]

First off, congratulations! 5 years is a long time to wait. Fortunately I have not had a loss but from reading stories from many other women who have it is very common to get psyched out and worried about another loss. I am certain that women who have been there will chime in and offer their opinions. I know I am ready for a baby in every way, but just the other night I couldn't sleep and started to get myself worked up over nothing. I was thinking, "what if I'm not a good mother", "what if I get pp depression?", "what if the baby has colic and never sleeps?". I think the hormones were just messing with my emotions and making me self doubt. Today, I am fully confident that we are ready for this. Hang in there! You are more than halfway through your first trimester!

 

[HearMyPrayers]

aww thank you! I feel ashamed almost for feeling like this seeing as we've tried 5 years for this baby, I'm almost afraid to say how I'm really feeling.

 

[HearMyPrayers]

thank you and I feel the exact same way. PPD is scaring me, I'm so worried that I will get it, and I worry myself more about getting it with me feeling this way. I just know that I love this little baby more than anything else in the world and that kind of love is deep and everlasting, that in itself is overwhelming lol. Congratulations to you as well! are due dates are very close!

 

[LulaBug]

Well, currently as it stands, I'm exactly the same date as you, if my early scan I had last week is accurate, I'm 7+1 too

Just take each day as it comes x