Fertility counselling?

[LoveCakes]

I'm lucky that my clinic give a free counselling service. I had thought about it when we were officially referred but decided we weren't at this point. Now we are both struggling in particular with other people having kids.

Neither of us have been for counciling before and being in the UK it's not as common as say the US. OH is worried it'll reflect badly on us if we end up going down the adoption route but I think it would be ok.

Has anyone been to it (I don't need specifics) and did it help. Positive and negative if applicable.

 

[heres_hoping]

I have had counselling, not specifically for infertility (though I am considering it now) but when my son passed. I found it incredibly helpful.

I am certain it would not reflect badly ona potential future adoption application, in fact the opposite, it would show that you dealt with the issues around infertility prior to embarking on the adoption route. I hope that it doesn't come to adoption for you, but please don't let that thought put you off seeking support that could help you now.

 

[hopster]

I went to counselling after my 4th IUI resulted in an ectopic pregnancy and my marriage was in a total breakdown. The jury is still out for me if it is helpful as I have only been to 2 sessions, 1 by myself and 1 with DH. This counsellor specializes in infertility and is recommended by every clinic and is private pay. The first two sessions seemed to be all about validating my feelings, which I do not need; I know that everything I am feeling is normal/common when struggling with infertility. I am thinking about going back, but I will be telling her very specifically what situations I want help, which is mostly how to deal with the social anxiety I have when I go to events where there are babies/kids or with my DH friends who all have kids and that is all the women talk about (hence I have nothing in common and have left parties after being there for 5 min). Being private pay, I would go with specific requests for help, but if it is 'free' then it may be helpful to have someone to listen to you, cuz sometimes you just want someone in an objective position.

In terms of how an adoption agency would view counselling, I would assume that it shows a proactive approach to learn how to cope with all that life deals you. I am sure you would not be the first parents to adopt after struggling with infertility and heres-hoping is right, go for the support you need to get you through your current situation. Try a session...there is no commitment to doing more, see how you like it. By the looks of your siggy, you are early in your fertility journey and should have lots of hope left for a biological child. Best of luck to you.

 

[LoveCakes]

Thanks Bertie I'm glad you found something that helped, even a bit. I can't imagine how hard that must have been.

Thanks too hopster. Thankfully our relationship is good at the moment. I need the same help as you, dealing other people moving on without us, and being angry a lot. It's the fact we don't have anyone else to talk to as our friends and family just don't get it. We have looked at support groups too but that seems a bit scary.

 

[hopster]

Hey lovecakes,

Glad that your DH gets it, mine has no clue, hence why the marriage is in shambles. I would try the support group, and yes, it sounds absolutely scary, but you could meet great friends who get it, and then will also have people to hang out without the pressure or fear of dealing with baby talk. I have thought about a support group as well b/c I can't even talk to my DH about it. I know how you feel when you say that everyone is moving on with life except us...it sucks big time...