Fifth loss in a row (the worst sequel in the world)

[LacePrincess]

Ok puppy!! I hope this works!

Update on the m/c: All the bleeding stopped a few days ago. Had my scan yesterday, very thorough tech, everything is all clear and looks like my right ovary has a measurable follie so I should be ovulating next week. Whoo!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Omg so so cute!! Makes me want a puppy...but I'll hold off lol.
Yay on the all clear too! It's such a relief when it's over and you can move forward.

 

[LacePrincess]

LOL Ready. The puppy has more than fulfilled my need to take care of a living thing 24/7....and not sleep enough......

Though a plus over an infant. You can shut a puppy in a cage and leave home, LOL!

I'm not sure trying again right away is the smartest thing to do, but I'll do it anyways. I'm sure if I asked my RE would tell me to wait at least a cycle (I think he thinks I'm waiting past Xmas) but I'm not gonna ask. heh. But if I get a c/p this cycle I won't tell him either since he'd think I was an idiot.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I've waited and not waited and it hasn't made a difference. There is no real reason to wait and personally I'm more fertile.

 

[Sophie2015]

Lace- exactly what Ready said. Wait, don't wait, doesn't affect your mc rate. Your body and egg is either ready or it isn't. I have never waited. Both my RE and OB agree it's fine to TTC right away. I've conceived immediately after 2 of my losses. FX'd for you!!
And that puppy!! Such a cutie!!! I'm seriously thinking of getting one. Esp if my ivf fails. Our house is so empty now that our cat is gone.

 

[LacePrincess]

Thanks!! I guess there's this fear of the 'old' lining not being good enough to actually use, but I'm told that's a myth. I'm going to try as soon as I ovulate, but gonna try real hard to just leave it in the background again.

Frankly I hate the m/c more for all the stupid medical management than even the m/c itself. I'm extremely phobic of bloodwork (not the needles - I have OCD and extreme phobia of catching pathogens so medical crap in general for me is really anxiety provoking) so I hate all the stupid followups more than the m/c itself almost.

Ugh, I almost got away with not having to get my beta tested after the m/c but they caught up with me, lol. Drats. I would've thought a clear scan and bfn's on my hpt's would be good enough but noooooo......blah.

Sophie, you should get a dog! I dunno about puppy though, LOL. Frankly I hate the puppy stage it's such a pain (though obviously cute!!) but the housebreaking (shih-tzu's are infamously hard to housebreak) and now she just ate through my computer charging cable (AGAIN!!!). I really wanted a young dog past the puppy phase, but I couldn't find anything that was an acceptable breed and young enough (mostly huskies, rotties, pit mixes, old or neurotic dogs) at the rescues/shelters.

 

[Sweetkat]

Thought would pop in to say hello. Nothing much happening at this end. OH has been off his medication nearly 4 months and we are waiting for the results of another DNA fragmentation test (due any day now) before trying again.

If the fragmentation has gone down we will try in November, otherwise will wait for a bit longer to see if it goes down.

I am also seriously considering donor sperm, although that would be last resort.

Will update once we get the results.

Big hugs xxx

 

[Sweetkat]

OH's fragmentation has gone from
44% to 52% after 3.5 months of no medication and 2 months on anti oxidants . So now my options are

- wait and see whether fragmentation improves (problem is there is a 2 week delay between the test and the result and a further delay before I would get pregnant, so even if it improves it could deteriorate again)

- try as is with about a 50/50 chance of miscarriage

- try ICSI with IMSI (which apparently helps but they have no way of selecting the non fragmented sperm)

- try donor IUI

My head is going to explode

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Oh sweet how frustrating! I know nothing about it to help but what did your dr say as far as improving?

 

[Sweetkat]

There is nothing that can be done to improve the fragmentation other than waiting and hoping or ICSI with IMSI.

One moment am set on donor IUI and next moment want to try again with OH (but really scared by the prospect of another MC).

How are you all doing ladies?

 

[Sweetkat]

Sweetkat, that's true. It would be worse if my body was rejecting healthy embryos. So I am glad that I'm pretty sure now it's not me, it's the embryos.

OTOH, why the F*^&$*% are we making so damned many aneuploids?!?!? WTF!

The timing is curious. I always seem to lose them at EXACTLY the same point, with the exception of the chemicals. Otherwise it's been, 6w, 6w3d, mmc measuring 6w3d, and this one measured 6w2d. Almost to the day they stop growing at 4.7mm or so. So what the heck is going on at that point of development that my embies never seem to be able to make it past?

I found this rather interesting article about how sperm damage causes miscarriage. Not a lot of suggestions on what to do, but it makes sense!!


https://www.tommys.org/miscarriage-research-project-6-impact-damaged-sperm-miscarriage

Oh it does give me hope what your dr said, that even with DNA frag eventually it's possible to have a healthy baby, just.....how many losses will it take to get there, yk?

Just read the article again and it said DNA fragmentation doubles the risk of MC and also potentially leads to health problems with the baby (such as an increased risk of childhood leukaemia). So that makes me want to go do donor sperm

 

[LacePrincess]

Just read the article again and it said DNA fragmentation doubles the risk of MC and also potentially leads to health problems with the baby (such as an increased risk of childhood leukaemia). So that makes me want to go do donor sperm

Yeah me too......we're thinking about the idea. I'm the one getting squicked out though, not even DH. Go figure! I think, for us, if our last IVF doesn't work, or we keep losing them on our own, we'll just close the door at some point. I don't think I really want to try using donor sperm, especially since we already have kids. I'll just have to work on acceptance, I really think donor sperm is out of my comfort zone.

Now having said that, knowing when to stop is another question. I get the feeling we'll probably just keep trying until I'm too old to, with how stubborn I am, LMAO. We'll see. For now, we're trying with no treatments, just leaving the ttc in the background. No different then AF in terms of how I feel about it.......ok beginning of cycle, AF. Middle of cycle, BD a few times. And that's about it. I'm really trying to concentrate on other things in my life right now (my ballet again primarily).

Well I got my +OPK yesterday at least - after having EWCM for, like, 1.5 weeks, omg so tiresome. So at least my body didn't take TOO long to get back into gear.

 

[Sweetkat]

How are you doing ladies?

I am torn re what to do since latest fragmentation test came back at 52%. We had another consultation with a fertility/ assisted reproduction specialist and he said that DNA fragmentation can lead to miscarriage.

He said out of 10 attempts couples our age should have at least 4 good embryos. Well that is statistically. I have had 3 MCs. In the time I have been waiting (5 months) I could have had another 2 attempts roughly. But i am too scared to try because almost convinced everything will go wrong.

He said the only way to make sure there is no MC due to chromosomal issues is to have IVF with PGD testing, but it doesn't mean that I will actually get pregnant or that I don't miscarry for other reasons.

Do I try IVF? Torn.

Other option at the moment is to leave OH. I know I should stop going on about it, but for the first 3 years of our relationship he said he didn't want kids because he had 2 (he said that a year in after saying he did want kids). Then for 2 years he was off his medication but pulled out every time before coming. Two long years when I could have been pregnant and he chose not to. They he started his medication again and then we waited for a year before trying. Then had DD. And now 14 months of miscarriages/ waiting for his sperm to get better.

It's 8 years since we met and I just feel like at 36 I can't wait any longer. Am so angry at him and at myself

 

[Sweetkat]

A friend of mone (also 36) got pregnant 6 weeks into a new relationship. Now I am not advocating that and it was high risk for many reasons, but she hasn't had the pain of 3 MCs and she is happily pregnant and looking forward to a baby girl, whereas I have one DD and desperate for another and despite having a man for 8 years cannot have a child with him. Well after 3 McS and with 52% fragmentation I am in a trap

And OH is perfectly happy for me to wait. He has 3 kids (DD and 2 others), he doesn't really want any more, only because of me, and if we tried IVF and it failed he wouldn't care and I would be sooooooo unhappy. Maybe if I met another man and got him to have unprotected sex with me I might get my baby and minus the resentment I feel towards OH.

Literally every time I see him I am thinking, it's your fault i don't have a second baby and that I am unhappy and you can't love me if you messed me around re babies for this long

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I wish I had answers or even helpful words. Relationships and infertility are complicated alone without pairing them together.
It sounds like the 2 of you aren't on the same page at all. At least with regards to you wanting another baby. I can't imagine how tough that must be.
Any resolution since you last posted?

 

[Sweetkat]

Sweetkat- I'm so sorry you are struggling with this. I wish I had answers or even helpful words. Relationships and infertility are complicated alone without pairing them together.
It sounds like the 2 of you aren't on the same page at all. At least with regards to you wanting another baby. I can't imagine how tough that must be.
Any resolution since you last posted?

I have been researching IVF with PGD and funnily enough was just reading your thread in assisted conception. I think that it increases the chances of success a lot and yours will hopefully go well.

I am torn because some days I think I just have bad eggs. Some people give birth naturally no problem at over 40 whereas all my MCs started at 35 (and I literally was 35 and 2 weeks when I fell pregnant which turned into first MC). Other days I think the sperm fragmentation isn't helping. Although the last MC was definitely due to bad eggs - trisomy 21.

Today I am leaning towards IVF with PGD and will be following your thread closely. Best of luck

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- I wish you the best as well. One of my losses was T21 as well. Heartbreaking. I think your chances are excellent with IVF/PGD. I'm 44 now. (My losses all started at 41). So if my IVF experience doesn't go well don't let that discourage you. I'm betting you have lots of eggs left. And more importantly lots of good eggs. The more you have the greater the odds of finding a normal fertilized one.
Have you told OH that's the direction you want to go? Due to his fragmentation issues have you considered donor sperm?

 

[Heres_to_hope]

Im sorry. This process is so draining and confusing. Its almost as if there is no point to happiness or hope until 20wks.

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie, so sorry about the loss of your embryos. Will you carry on trying naturally?

I fall pregnant really easily and we have had unprotected sex around ovulation time. I guess I might as well try properly this cycle and if I have another MC will go to IVF (we haven't tried at all since my last MMC in June).

I am seriously considering donor sperm, as my OH's sperm has not been good recently

How are you all going ladies?

 

[Sophie2015]

Hi Sweetkat- We will TTC naturally but we aren't expecting to conceive and if we do will expect to mc due to my assumed egg quality issue. Sadly I'm thinking the only thing I'll ever get to mother is a pet. Our beloved cat died a week after we lost baby #4 this year and as I'm fairly certain no other cat will ever measure up to her we are thinking of getting a puppy.
How does your OH feel about donor sperm?