Fifth loss in a row (the worst sequel in the world)

[Sweetkat]

OH doesn't want me to have another MC but I don't think he is at donor sperm stage yet.

My friend gave birth at 43 after 3 losses. So anything is possible and I am keeping fingers crossed for all of us.

Still it's a shit place to be

 

[Sophie2015]

Yeah I lost all 5 of mine between the ages 41-43. I turned 44 in September. Then our embryos died 2 days ago at day 6. I think at this point our odds of winning the lottery are greater than conceiving a healthy baby. It's a total shit place to be. I hope it works out for you!! You don't have any do you?

 

[Sophie2015]

Yeah I lost all 5 of mine between the ages 41-43. I turned 44 in September. Then our embryos died 2 days ago at day 6. I think at this point our odds of winning the lottery are greater than conceiving a healthy baby. It's a total shit place to be. I hope it works out for you!! You don't have any do you?

 

[Sweetkat]

I have one DD who is 3. Conceived with the same partner but when he was off medication (so possibly his sperm was less fragmented or we were just lucky).

Actually I think the odds are always quite good despite repeated losses - about 50% -75%, I guess most ppl just give up after a few losses.

 

[Sophie2015]

It's not so much my consecutive losses that steals my hope. It's my age. 😕

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie I think you have every chance of having a baby. I really do . It's just draining emitionally going through losses and it's hard to believe a rainbow is out there, but you are getting pregnant and all it takes is one good egg!!!

 

[stemalia20]

Words can't express... day before Thanksgiving I lost my daughter at 29 weeks and 1 day. Ive had 2 prior miscarriages. It never gets easier. It's been really hard coping with this and i know all it takes is time. Nothing anyone can do or say will help, it's all within yourself when ever you can find it within yourself. I am still trying my hardest to be ok but really most days are hard to even wake up to. My daughter's name was Rowyn Kaye and shes such a beautiful little angel.

 

[Sweetkat]

Please keep your fingers crossed for me - pregnant again with OH's dodgy sperm. His latest fragmentation results are 49% (so zero improvement) and I am 4&2 today.

This is my last attempt with OH / if this doesn't work out I am leaving him (for those of you that remember he has 2 other children and we have a DD and he didn't want children for the first 4 years of our relationship). Well he said yes then no then yes then no, and we had to wait a whole 11 months after that for him to stop taking his medicine. This time he stopped medicine for 6 months but fragmentation didn't improve at all

 

[Sweetkat]

My pregnancy turned into a chemical. Got bfp 23 December (period was due 24th). It was only a very faint line on a first response. Before that first response showed negatives. And then got my period 27th. The good thing is was only 4 days and not 2 months. The weird thing is why did it happen (I am blaming OH's sperm fragmentation).

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- I'm so sorry but having lost 7 total (5 mc's and 2 embies) I can honestly say my 4th loss(my only chemical which lasted 5.5 weeks) was the easiest for so many reasons. My RE says chemicals are usually due to a genetic problem although I know many women who have a P4 deficiency that causes them. Regardless I'm so sorry for your loss. It hurts even if you had only been pregnant an hour. It's the same loss.
Are you still planning to leave OH? What was his response to this loss?

 

[Sweetkat]

Sophie, thank you so much for your response. In a way I don't feel like I ever was pregnant because the line was so faint (although definitely there) and only for a day. To be fair I didn't test at all for 3 days and then got my period on the 4th day.

I was all over the place since having unprotected sex, because was terrified of another MC and a week after having the unprotected sex his fragmentation came back as 49%.

An article I found says that high fragmentation more than doubles the risk of miscarriage, which makes it sth like 60-70% instead of the normal 20% at my age and it's just awful having a positive result and thinking that an Mc is almost inevitable.
OH is back on his medication now too, so if anything the fragmentation will now get worse. He hasn't said a word when I said test was positive and nothing at all when said got my period.

A few months ago he said maybe we shd just have one child together. But that's so selfish as he already has 2 others!!!! I feel that maybe leaving him is the only way to save myself from this MC hell and have a baby.
Are you decided on IVF with DE or own eggs? I would try own eggs if I were you, because in a year or so (or even 2 or 3 years) you could have DE IVF? Is there a cut off point in terms of age?
Big hugs xxx

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- I have not decided yet. I'm not sure I'll ever be able to decide! But I'm too old now after years of mc's to try with my own eggs and THEN try DE IVF. Time just isn't on my side.
I'm so sorry about your trouble with OH. It's so difficult to deal with loss and infertility but I can't imagine how much harder it is when your other half just isn't on the same page as you. Big hugs to you too!!!

 

[Sweetkat]

How are you doing girls? Any updates from anyone?

We only tried once since chemical in December and bfn. Now torn re whether to do IVF with ICSI with IMSI with PGD or try naturally. Have actually had pre IVF tests (ovarian reserve near optimal, womb all fine) and yesterday called clinic to start IVF medication on day 14 of cycle (now day 2) but so torn whether ivf would work and whether it might work naturally.

Help

 

[Sophie2015]

Sweetkat- I wish I had answers for you. If there's a genetic issue with the embryos causing the CPs that can be tested for prior to transfer I'd def do PGD. Good luck to you!!