finding April hard already...

[BrookieG]

hey girls, just needing to get a few things off my chest really sometimes helps to write things out....I'm feeling so blessed that ive got my little man growing strong inside me but im already finding April hard....it should be such a special time its our 1st wedding anniversary on the 10th but all its doing is reminding me of all the other "year on...."'s. The 13th is a year from when we had our 12 week scan and found out Baby G had grew wings, then the 24th is a year since i had the d&c...i feel terrible coz im trying not to let Craig see im thinking about it or upset by it coz i feel like the whole 1st year of our marriage was taken up by grief i dont want to start our 2nd year the same way but its still really really hard...I feel terrible moaning coz im so blessed to be pregnant again but i think people think all is forgotten about our little Baby G, i still think about her every day and i know she's watching down on Bubs but i cant just forget about it and move on...regardless how little time i was pregnant we'd picked out names, thought about the nursery, thuoght about what he/she would look like, had it in our wedding speeches that we were blessed with a little one...i just feel like our wedding anniversary is always always gonna be marked with sadness and i feel guilty coz Craig did it all himself to make sure i had the perfect wedding day...im rambling now but i just need to get it all out....a year on....madness....xx

 

[Tulip]

From what I've heard it's totally normal for it to hit you hard again at this time sweetie. But you got to share a little of your life with her and she will always be your first baby. She's helping little man grow extra strong for your too. I think you should let Craig know how you're feeling, he's probably thinking the same but doesn't want to upset you.

It's hard having the sadness come flooding back, but you have hope and happiness and a little man to bring you joy this year. Lots of love xx

 

[Beadette]

Oh Hun, I completely see where u are coming from. You shouldn't beat yourself up for feeling this way! I'm sure if you told craig he would understand where you are coming from. Sometimes blokes can only see what's in front of them until you explain things further.

Being pregnant again does not take away from what happened with your first pregnancy. I know I will be the same when I hit July (due angel baby bead), then the anniversary of the scan when we found out about the mmc and the erpc! It'll be hard but we'll get through it!

Lots of love and hugs!!! XXXXXXXX

 

[BrookieG]

thanks girls i think you're right i need to talk to craig about it...im wanting to release balloons or light a chinese style latern on the 24th jsut to make me feel better n let her know we've not forgotten her...thanks again girls xx