Finding it really hard to move on after 5th MC

[MrsHennieB]

As each month passes, I feel more of a failure. I'm utterly desperate to be a mummy. I lost my 5th angel on the 11th May when I had an erpc. Although it's only a week tomorrow, I'm upset I'm still bleeding and having lots of contractions An erpc is the most depressing thing in the world. You go down to theatre pregnant and wake up not....it's as simple as that.

We've been trying for 5 years and have LOTS of chemicals and 5 full miscarriages. I had an erpc in February and obviously this one in May. I've lost all my other babies naturally. Pcos seems to be the reason I can't carry.

I'm seeing my fs on the 14th June to discuss ovarian drilling. As I've never carried past 10 weeks, we're having dna compatability, immunology, blood clotting and chromasome testing. This should be helping me to move forward and think of the future.....but I can't. I feel I can't talk to anybody and I'm being pushed to move on quicker than I'm ready. I want to take time to grieve and I'm worried, if I don't, it will hit me like a brick wall in a week/month/6months.

It feels REALLY un-natural WTT, until we know we have compatible dna. If we haven't, then it will just be this groundhog day situation over and over again.

Sorry for a bit of a rambling post, but I've just opened my heart to you and hope you can help. Does anyone know what to expect, regarding all the testing? Any help/support gratefully received, Helen x

 

[tali]

Didn't want to read and run - I'm so sorry you have both had to go through what you've been through. I cannot even believe to imagine what it must be like - we found it hard after our one MMC. I don't have any experience from which I can give you an idea of what to expect but know that my thoughts are with you honey. Xx

 

[MrsHennieB]

Thanks so much I suppose I've just got to keep going, like every other brave woman; because the only other option is to fade!! How are you doing now? x

 

[Gods_Precious]

Please dont be depressed... I know its really easy to say.... But we have to keep hoping that our baby is waiting for the right moment for him/her... Be patient as u have been till now.

I had 2 MC...(chemical they say) in aug (6 weeks) and then again in Jan(7 weeks)... i did test and the doc said... my Vit D levels r dead low and I am working on it for the past 2 months...(doc asked me to wait for 3 months..) I am thinking of trying this month after all... just hope it doesnt end up in another loss.... I somehow feel it wont.... god is great.!!

Lotsa baby dust to u... dont be depressed. U r not alone dear... everyone has problems...just different types.Hope u post a happy news soon.

 

[Pebbles80]

I'm sorry to hear about all of your losses, and can't imagine what you must be going through. Don't let anybody rush you into feeling better and take your time to grieve because it is very important.
I had 2 miscarriages and have been trying for several years as well. I went for all the bloodwork and chromosomal stuff after the second one and everything back pretty normal except for a folate enzyme metabolism issue (abbreviated: MTHFR gene mutation) so my RE has me on a very high dose folic acid tablet daily. Also maybe I have a luteal phase defect, which we are trying clomid for currently because the progesterone suppositories did not help my progesterone level at all.
The bloodwork ended up being a lot of vials and because I was fasting I actually passed out... so just be cautious if you are sensitive with blood-draws, but I'm sure most people are fine (I'm just a wimp!)
Good luck and take your time healing!