first time in here bit of advice please

[Boothh]

hi everyone
i found out about mmc on 13th of april and had erpc on the 16th april,

so just over 4weeks ago now, still waiting for AF as i have irregular cycles, we have been ntnp this month but hopefully gunna get back into things when AF has been and gone!

i feel very scared of ttc now because i dont want to go through it all again but at the same time desperate for another baby, does anybody else feel like they are back at square one and dont really know whether they are ready for the emotional rollercoaster of ttc?

i am actually coping fine with the mmc and i have accepted it and think this is the best way that me and OH can move forward so much so that we have pushed our wedding back to give time for us to ttc and have another baby.

just feel abit scared about jumping back onboard though and looking for abit of support really, i know im going to be absolutly sh*tting myself when i do get that BFP,
just looking for people to talk to who understand what i am feeling

thankyou for reading if you got this far xx

 

[heart tree]

Hi hon, I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad you came over here to post. I have very regular cycles and it still took me 8 weeks to get AF after my first mc and almost 7 weeks to get it after my second AF.

I know how you feel and I honestly don't know that it gets easier. I was once told that once you have a loss, the innocence of pregnancy is taken away. The fear that it will happen again will always be present. Sadly, for me, it did happen again. But, it hasn't stopped me from hoping and believing that I will carry a healthy child full term.

You don't have to jump back in right away if you don't feel ready. For me it was very comforting to ttc right away after both of my losses as it allowed me to have some control over the uncontrollable. But we're all different. You may want to take another cycle off just to give yourself time to think, cry, grieve, and heal. Whatever your decision is, we are definitely here to support you.

xoxo

 

[Boothh]

thanks for replying, emotionally i am okay the 3days from finding out about the mmc and the erpc were the worst for me but when i left hospital it was a starting point and i really feel i am ready to try but like you say the innocence of pregnancy has definatly gone for me, with my son it was a happy 9months and i didnt even think about miscarrying or anything going wrong but i dont know this time i knew from the off there was something wrong and ended up with an early scan after insisting at first midwife appointment and that was when they told i had lost the baby, so i think it was intuition, i know next time ill be so scared and it will be 9months of worry and i can imagine the first 3months will be horrendous for all of us, and i cant imagine ill ever be excited about a scan again!

i think for myself i can take comfort in the fact i have a healthy baby already so i know my body is capable of producing a healthy baby and carrying full term,

i really hope you get your bfp and sticky baby soon xx