First time moms - TTC after a loss

[DBZ34]

Hi ladies! I hope you don't mind me popping in. My name is Ella and I'm TTC #1 after 4 early mc's.

I thought I would chime in about the temping. I've been temping for a really long time. Like over 3 years. It's actually really helpful for me. I know my body really well by now. Like, I know that right before I ov, my temps stay about the same for a couple of days, so I know that's when DH and I should get our BD on (I used my chart to predict ov before I started using opks for the SMEP).

Then after ov, I have a reliable rise in temps, so I know exactly when I ovulated each cycle. Takes out all of the guesswork in the TWW because I know what DPO I am and when I should start testing or expecting AF (there's a drop in temp that happens right before AF shows). I think I would hate not temping at this point, just because I like knowing where I am in my cycle and I really like knowing when AF is about to show so I can be prepared, mentally and with tampons.

It also helps because you learn how long your Luteal Phase is (the time between ovulation and your period) and so you know if you're actually late for your period, since it is usually the same, plus or minus a day. Some women go off of cycle length, but delayed ov or early ov can change that, so it's not as reliable. There have been a couple of cycles where I geared up to ov and didn't and temping was really good at catching that, so DH and I knew to keep BDing. And temping actually helped me find out that I had a luteal phase defect (LP shorter than 10 days) for a couple of months, so I took B-complex to help and it has.

And your chart can sometimes show you if you're pregnant before you test, just due to the trend of temps rising in the second half of the LP. Plus you can also chart your symptoms to see if they're similar each cycle or if things change a lot.

After an mc, my temps were all over the place, but it's not the actual numbers that matter, it's the trend, so when my body was finally ready to ovulate again, I got my rise in temps, just like I normally do, and FF was able to detect ov easily.

But, temping isn't for everyone. I just like having as much information as I can and it does wonders for my piece of mind.

If you're interested, find yourself a BBT thermometer. It's got two numbers after the decimal point. (So, 98.34 instead of 98.3) and sign up for Fertility Friend. You can click on the little chart in my siggy if you're curious what it looks like. You get a month of the VIP trial for free and that has a lot of analysis types stuff, but it's not really helpful until you have a couple of months under your belt. The basic FF is still free and it still tracks your cycles and predicts ov just fine.

Sorry for the long post. I like to talk about temping. It might be a disease.

 

[tcinks]

Hi ladies, I'm new to these threads and glad I found it.

I lost my baby boy 2 days ago on October 15. It was so unexpected, apparently my cervix wasn't strong enough to hold him in at 14 weeks.

I know it will take time to heal and deal with this loss, but my husband and I are so desperately wanting another baby. This one was our first, and it was not at all difficult to conceive him (the first month we tried I got pregnant). I'm hoping that's how it will be with the next one. And now that I know what I'm at risk for, I can monitor things more closely.

Once bleeding stops we will likely not wait to start trying. I've heard/read about waiting vs not waiting, and see no reason not to start trying again as soon as possible!

Anyway, I'm just looking for other ladies who may be on the same journey so that we will be able to support and encourage one another.

 

[aPharmD]

Thanks DBZ and welcome!! I already bought the thermometer for like $6. Ive been using it the last 2 days. although i just found out apparently im supposed to use it at the same time everyday? I get up at different times in the morning (within an hour of each other) but im not sure how much this will throw things off?

Tcinks- so sorry to hear about your loss. i just joined last week but am finding alot of comfort and support here on these threads. i didnt ovulate until about 6 weeks post D&C (my hCG took about 3.5-4 weeks to come down). but everyone is different you will find! good luck to you!

 

[DBZ34]

Thanks DBZ and welcome!! I already bought the thermometer for like $6. Ive been using it the last 2 days. although i just found out apparently im supposed to use it at the same time everyday? I get up at different times in the morning (within an hour of each other) but im not sure how much this will throw things off?

Tcinks- so sorry to hear about your loss. i just joined last week but am finding alot of comfort and support here on these threads. i didnt ovulate until about 6 weeks post D&C (my hCG took about 3.5-4 weeks to come down). but everyone is different you will find! good luck to you!

Thanks for the welcome, aPharm!

Yeah, you're supposed to temp at the same time each morning, but I've found that it really doesn't have much of an effect on things for me. I used to adjust my temp when I got up earlier/later, but then I stopped and I still have reliable charts. I don't think it throws things off too much, especially if it's within the hour. Your temp naturally rises during the day, but it doesn't go up so much that FF would think you ovulated, so it's not too much of a concern.

If it's way out (like 1pm when you usually temp at 7am), you could change the time on the chart input and it will give you an open circle and take that into account when analyzing your chart. But, usually I just put in the same time, no matter what time I temp (unless I had a bad night sleeping). It just makes things much easier and it doesn't seem to make too much of a difference.

I temp at around the same time during the week (within 30 minutes), but on the weekends, I just temp when I get up, which is usually much later. As long as it's after 3 hours of sleep, it should be okay.

Since it's the trend that matters (a rise of .30 for at least 3 days to confirm ov, staying high after ovulation, and then dropping before AF) changes in daily temps don't really matter as much. Your temps should still be doing certain things that FF can track.

Try not to worry too much about it. It doesn't sound like there's enough time difference in your temps to make a difference in cycle prediction. Good luck with the temping!

 

[snookyjenn]

Hi, I need some help.
Myself And my husband lost our daughter, I was 7 months ans 5 days when she died January 11, 2014. Its been such a hard road I have my ups and downs and now suffer from anxiety. I always have my menstrual cycle on the 17th of the month never a day late. I woke up today with a tad bit of cramps so I thought I was about to start my period but now the 18th and have very light pink and brown discharge. I cant tell if my back hurts because my back always does. Im just worried. I dont think I can handle lossing another of my babys

 

[HopingCarter]

First and foremost, Welcome DBZ34, tcinks, and snookyjenn. I am deeply sorry for your losses, and I just wish you all the best luck on this journey TTC. I hope that this thread can bring comfort and confidence as it's done for me!!

Snooky, I know it's scary and it's hard thinking about the reasons of why you didn't a chance to bring home your baby girl and thinking it's going to happen to the next baby, but having faith is the key. You have to have faith if you are going to TTC, and I had to learn that same thing because I was convinced my body was a failure! You are not alone. I think the concern will always be there, but please don't let it stress you out because stress and worry is not good when TTC. I know easier said than done. Nothing will ever replace your precious baby girl, but just have faith that as long as you are trying, and you can get pregnant, there is always hope...

 

[HCas]

Hey everyone and welcome newcomers!

Sorry I haven't been on much. Was on bed rest for a day then my laptop broke then I had to focus on making cameos for my shop.

I'm now at 7dpo and as far as I know the rupture hasn't damaged anything any more than it already is. It just hurt really bad. Not sure if it means I'm out this month though. Haven't been able to talk to the doc about it.

Anyways how are you ladies doing? Any updates?

 

[HopingCarter]

HCas, you are still in my prayer hun, and I hope you get well soon. FX that the rupture didn't hurt your chances and there's a strong sticky in there!

No updates for me. I'm in the SMEP stages right now of my cycle, CD12 to be exact so going to BD tonight, but that's about it (even though that's exciting in itself )

 

[HCas]

That's the fun part of this crazy ride XD

DH has been impatient on my end. He wants me to test every day it seems and we still have a week before anything would show

But now it seems like if we do conceive we'll be having two babies. We may be adopting in May as well. That should also be an interesting ride.

 

[HopingCarter]

That's good that he wants you to test everyday in a sense lol. That shows how much he wants it too!! I'm so glad you guys are choosing the adoption method as well. There are a lot of children out there who would be so privileged and blessed to get you guys as parents. You guys rock!!! I have thought about adoption too, but I'm just not 100% sure at this point. I don't know what's holding me back....

 

[HCas]

I understand. I felt like adopting was kind of... second place though many say it doesn't feel that way and I know it isn't really. But this.... opportunity has been falling in our laps for three kids now.

My sister is having her third baby as a single mother and the first two times she thought of adopting them out, and we almost got to adopt my nephew last time, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. This time however she says she just can't do it and she's not sure if she can bring herself to raise another kid, since she never wanted to be a mom. So I talked about maybe letting us adopt the baby since she is thinking of putting it up for adoption anyways.

We have been teetering on the adoption thought for a few months now and I think even if we don't adopt my sister's baby we might go to an adoption agency next. Though my husband is a bit afraid since I told him if we do that we are adopting siblings, and he's not sure how many siblings I mean lol

 

[HopingCarter]

I think that's even better, to adopt your sister's kid!!! Not that going to agency is not good, but I think it increases your chances of a successful adoption when it's family doesn't it? If she doesn't give the baby up for adoption, then I'm sure you should still have a good chance getting a child through an agency though. Hopefully, you get this BFP first lol

 

[tcinks]

It's been 8 days. I tested this morning and was hoping the line would be faded, but no...still very positive. I know it's still soon and it can take weeks to get hcg down, I just hoped it would happen sooner. I'm so ready to try again.

 

[HopingCarter]

I'm so sorry it hasn't gone down yet. It should be soon for you. Just give your body some time, because it was natural. tcinks

 

[tcinks]

Thank you. Hmmm if I'd had a d&c would it have been quicker? Not that I wanted that, I'm just wondering.

How are you today?

 

[HopingCarter]

I'm awesome. Thank you for asking. And D&C is not necessarily better because it does thin out your endometrium lining pretty thin which requires you to have to wait for that first AF just to be safe, but it does make everything less painful since you're not passing the fetus on your own and it speeds up the process of HCG leveling if its 100% successful.

 

[aPharmD]

I POAS 3.5 weeks after my D&C (I was 11.5 weeks) and I still had positives. Ive read a lot of people who have positives for 6-8+weeks after D&C. everyone is so different in how quickly they get rid of the hcg, when they get AF, etc. So while a D&C may speed up the process, I think most people would still get positives for the first 2 weeks at least.

How is everyone doing today?! I haven't been on here all week.

 

[HCas]

d&c terrify me. I researched it not that long ago and haven't been able to finish the article I found on it.

How is everyone today? Any updates?

 

[aPharmD]

Nothing new here. Waiting to O. Took vitamin b6 this month in hopes of extending luteal phase. Cd13 and got a high on my monitor this morning.

What's new with everyone else?!

 

[HCas]

I'm just waiting to test now. af suppose to show today. Been nauseous with mild cramping since yesterday.