Flying anxiety and diazapam while pregnant (long sry)

[danijoanne]

I'm sorry but I think you are the insensitive one how rude of you to say she isn't putting the health of her child first. PTSD and anxiety are cruel illnesses and debilitating and for you to cast aspersions on her love for her child is horrendous. I think it is cruel and unforgivable. We all differ in opinions but calling someone a bad mother is horrendous. I'm shocked other mothers would do this to each other. Support and offer opinions but do it in a courteous no judgemental way. We all have feelings and personal struggles and belittling them is unfair or comparing them is cruel

 

[loeylo]

I have already stated that I had anxiety so bad I was hospitalised. I'm not belittling anxiety whatsoever, but her anxiety is linked to an avoidable situation (flying) therefore it is logical to avoid the situation. Mines was linked to an unavoidable situation (fear of dying in childbirth or my baby dying in pregnancy) which is also irrational but if there was any way I could have avoided constantly feeling like I am standing on the edge of a cliff on a windy day I would have.i was offered anti anxiety meds in pregnancy but I declined as I didn't want to risk my babies health. I currently have PND and I'm refusing meds as we want to ttc again soon and the meds may not be safe. I also suffer crippling headaches (aura migraines) which only heal with600mg ibuprofen, I had to suffer with them through my pregnancy as ibuprofen isn't safe in pregnancy.

Quote the bit where I called her a bad mother.

 

[Katt36]

Don't pot on a public forum if you can't handle different opinions, some that might not be the same as yours.

A wedding and keeping your husband happy isn't more important than your babies health. Absolutely nothing in the world is. I absolutely know what I would do because I look at my son sleeping next to me and I'd walk through fire to make sure there wasn't a hair on his head out of place. The option to take potentially dangerous medication just so I could go to a wedding wouldn't even come into it. Not when there are other options.

It's fine to have your opinion about what you would do but this isn't about you, it's about her. What you would do wasn't the question. This was about finding people who may have had a similar experience and finding out what other alternatives they used. The only helpful thing that you said was the word potential. Potential meaning may or may not. You may or may not get hit by a bus next time you cross the street, if you do we will be sure to blame you for the harm you put your unborn child in. The potential for harm exists so don't cross the street. The amount of nastiness and judgement is so unbelievable on this thread. Your comments and others like them are so passive aggressive with the underlying bad mother tone it is shameful. I feel so badly this new member came here for support and this is what she got. You should be ashamed as an adult. I am so absolutely sorry to the poster for the behavior on this thread.

 

[hanni]

If I purposely walked out in front of the bus or ran across the road with my eyes closed I'd expect to be blamed. What a stupid comparison.

At no point did anyone say she was bad mother. Let's not get OTT. We haven't shot her down and said she's an awful person and shouldn't even dream of it.

Let's all just stick to telling people what they want to hear in order to keep them happy then.

What nastiness? Stating her child's health should be more important than her husbands feelings and a wedding? That's not nasty, that's an obvious fact.
When she said "my husbands feelings are as important" it ment she wasn't putting her child's health first. I didn't just make that up.

 

[Katt36]

Your choice of words is so pretentious!! I was using the word potential to make the example, every time you cross the street you have potential to be hit. She suffers from PTSD and you clearly are an insensitive individual who knows nothing about that. Smh. Wow!!!!

 

[Quartz]

If I purposely walked out in front of the bus or ran across the road with my eyes closed I'd expect to be blamed. What a stupid comparison.

At no point did anyone say she was bad mother. Let's not get OTT. We haven't shot her down and said she's an awful person and shouldn't even dream of it.

Let's all just stick to telling people what they want to hear in order to keep them happy then.

What nastiness? Stating her child's health should be more important than her husbands feelings and a wedding? That's not nasty, that's an obvious fact.
When she said "my husbands feelings are as important" it ment she wasn't putting her child's health first. I didn't just make that up.

I agree with this. I dont think anyone is marginalising her PTSD or her anxiety just questioning whether her husbands feelings and going to the wedding are more important that putting her own and her unborn child health first.

Regardless of whether you believe that you should not marginalize a partners feelings at the expense of a child once you are a parent someone health should always be the top priority and her and her child's health should be the priority

That is why I believe the most sensible advice is that they seek proper medical advice regarding what is safe and what is not and together as a couple make the decision.

They made the decision together to start TTC they should decide what to do together and they both need to be comfortable with the decision. It is one that has the potential for repercussions in their relationship and they need to do it together.

 

[danijoanne]

The poster explained her reason for seeking people with experience and advice on here. She does not have a specialist consultant and is not in her native country. She has spoken to a doctor who has given advice which has pretty much supported the use of the medication if necessary.
The poster has asked for people's experience and advice on similar situations. With regards to the medication if you could access the medical advice for this you would see what is advised as opposed to what Google presents information wise. The poster has said she is looking to avoid the medication as is trying alternatives in a shorter flight. At no point has it been shown that benzos have an definite adverse reaction to pregnancy but it is a very understudied area. The poster has not been flippant and said I don't care about my unborn child I care more about husbands feelings or holiday, she had merely been honest about how she would feel if she cancelled which is probably how I would feel if I'm honest. She is looking for support. Not judgement from people that are ill informed and being rude. The poster has already said you have upset her to the point of tears with your insinuations and harsh judgement from your pedestal. I suggest we all now refrain from judging and instead offer support and advice from people in an experienced non judgemental position. Remember we are all mothers or mothers to be and making people feel bad over wanting to look at all options is cruel and uncalled for

 

[loeylo]

Cool. Because giving advice that someone disagrees with is rude.

 

[danijoanne]

Not at all,but the manner in which it is delivered is. Also passive agressive is never helpful, only antagonistic.

 

[silmarien]

I still take Klonopin PRN for PTSD, panic attacks and anxiety. The incidence of birth defects in users who take high doses is about 5%, and you are just taking it on a couple different days spaced apart. I am not a doctor but I'd say it's ok to take your Xanax (Valium stays in the system for 200 hours, Xanax is out much quicker). It won't hurt the baby if you only take it 5 times the whole pregnancy, in my opinion.

Best wishes, and I can totally relate to your anxiety issues. PM me if you need any support!

 

[silmarien]

Geez, just read some of the replies, and such ignorance and misunderstanding and just plain meanness.

I have been hospitalized for anxiety too. I understand what she is going through. Taking Xanax a few times for flights is not irresponsible. As long as she isn't taking a massive dose, which she clearly doesn't intend to do, I don't see the problem.

I've read of women whose doctors allow them to stay on a low dose of Xanax for the entire pregnancy and their babies turn out fine.

No need to be judgmental here.

I'm sorry that people have been so snarky with you OP. HUGS.

 

[misspriss]

I took Klonopin PRN during the 3rd trimester of my second pregnancy due to anxiety and possible PTSD. I wish I'd started seeing a psychiatrist sooner and would have probably started taking it sooner.

I know take klonopin twice daily while breastfeeding both my kids. If I were to get pregnant, I would having a serious discussion with my psychiatrist about continuing, perhaps on a lower dose or a PRN basis. I think my anxiety is much more dangerous than the risks associated with the medication.

People are terrified of bezodiazapines for some reason. My psychiatrist has spent his life specializing in the mental health of pregnant and breastfeeding women. He presented me with the studies, explained the results, and I was confident taking them in the second and third trimesters, and definitely not terrified of taking them in the first.

I would suggest speaking with a trained mental health professional. So many OBs and GPs are quick to get you off any mental health medications you are on as soon as you are pregnant, with little or no concern for the affect on the mental health of the mother. Then sometime in the second or third trimester they have a mental health breakdown, and require more serious intervention and more meds than they would have had if they had just stayed on their regular medicine or a perhaps a lowered or modified dosage.

I hope that you can get the professional advice you need.