(for laughs) have you ever said or done anything stupid and then regretted it.

[Mellie1988]

Are penguins birds

 

[Nikkinoonoo]

I told my dad that I'd seen Sherlock Holmes house on Baker Street .... I didn't realise he was fictional!

 

[Mellie1988]

Ohhhh & to a PP, I thought New Zealand was in Australia...until you just noted that its not

 

[Jules]

The stupidiest thing i've ever done was a few years ago, me and OH went out unexpectedly and got sooooo drunk, I rang work the next morning to ring in sick (still drunk had only been to bed for an hour or two) and told them i'd broke my arm

I remember waking up and thinking how the hell am i going to get out of that one god knows why i said that

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I'm going to apologise first, cos some will think its cruel..

We played a game on my friends birthday at my OHs old flat, we had 5 minutes to go out and find something that began with the same letter as our names and the funniest item won.. i got a cat. A real one. I stole it from his neighbours door step and hid it in the bathroom til everyone returned.

I won the game, but feel bad now.

 

[Lisa1302]

I was just paying the milkman at the door and was asking to add some more milk...I wanted 1 pint of full fat on every day we have milk.

But I suddenly forgot how much 1 pint was and was going on and on saying yeh a small carton, thats a pint isnt it, and he was saying yeeeeaaaseee, and then Id say yeh im sure thats what I want just 1 pint ...what a derwyn

 

[shocker]

1.At a party last year a friend had a party in her garden and there was free drinks,a bouncy castle and a dj! We were much too old really to be going on the bouncy castle not to mention the fact it was lashing rain! So after a few drinks everyone decided to go on the bouncy castle in the rain It was a great laugh dancing around everyone pissed and having a great laugh when one of the girls bumped into me and I went flying out of the bouncy castle and landed in the grass, which wouldve been fine if my top hadnt been strapless So the girls family where of course in front and saw!! then had to get my mum to come pick my up because I'd landed on my arm and it was really sore! I got into the car with my friend stinking of beer with my arm wrapped in a big wet towel that was stinking of beer aswell!! she had to drive me to the hospital for an xray but it wasnt broken just sprained lol

2.Two years ago our graduation ball got a little out of hand Everyone got really drunk and we went to bed only to be woken by the manager of this gorgeous hotel (it was a rented holiday home on the grounds) and the police! It turned out the lads had been drinking a hell of a lot and caused £30,000 worth of damage during the night by ripping out lights,breaking the stairs, everything like, it was a war zone! The friend who I'd brought with me's parents were called by the police and they came out and got a tour of the damage which neither of us had anything to do with but couldnt prove it at the time! His mum was so utterly disgusted, and shes hated me ever since! Even though we've since been cleared and the people who did it are going to court in a few weeks!

3.The first time I drank was easily my biggest regret! My friends and I all bought a bottle of vodka each and no mixers and drank the lot in less than 5 minutes.20 minutes later we were all completely hammered! It was this guys 18th birthday and we'd kinda gatecrashed because we were 13 and didnt know him very well, we're great friends with him now but we ruined his party!

 

[CRWx]

just found this! i know it's old but ahaha!
i'll have to have a think!

 

[Nutella_Lover]

I haven't had time to read all the pages but I sure got a good laugh out of Helen's list!

I'm going to have to come back & read the rest!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

lol these are funny

 

[odd_socks]

walked all the way to the shop around the shop and on the way hope someone tapped me on the shoulder and said "excuse me, ur showing ur bum" lmao my skirt was tucked into my pants i nearly died on the spot lmao

 

[iceylou]

at all the posts. dh just told me to shush lol. got to think of anything i did but i know my niece would have loads about herself

 

[lucy_x]

omg! the cat one had me in stitches

 

[Hayley90]

I have new ones

A couple of months ago i was in a wetherspoons with my friends, little bit pissed, and i decided that my friends Woo Woo pitcher should be purple inside, not red. So i put WKD in it, and bits of beer and coke and whatever... then i thought "oh i know, nail varnish." So i poured in a BIG slop of dark purple nail varnish into this full pitcher of woo woo...

On christmas day i had to explain to my mum where the symmetrical cuts on my knees came from... i couldnt tell her it was from in the car, so i rambled along about burning myself on the oven door, then harrison scratching me... She bought it though, she was a little bit pissed

I started talking to Liam in Hollister... all he wears are Hollister and A&F tshirts, so im chatting away, standing behind him, trying to get him to carry my shopping bags.. "liam" turns around and its Hollister staff. Bloody fit, but not liam! At least id done my hair nice that day

 

[Scamp]

These had me in stitches!

Mine are quite boring, I'll have a think if there are any more which I've forgotten

1. I thought Paris was a country
2. I was having very noisy sex with an ex and his mum had heard, so just to let us know she'd heard, she opened the bedroom door and then shouted for me to leave the house
3. Again was having noisy sex and my ohs housemate came home and we didn't hear him. He ended up sitting outside until we were done. And then told everyone at work and I was called 'screamer' for ages after
4. Woke up many times after a night out and had to ring mates to find out what happened
5. Got so drunk one night that I cba walking home, so I went upto a random car full of lads and asked for a lift. My best mate dragged me away before I got in the car
6. Again got really messy, my ex was really annoyed at how out of it I was so to try and make it better I said 'don't worry, I've not drank anything, just had a couple of pills' - a total lie lol
7. Got so stoned that I passed out, woke up and got scared so I rang my step mum and told her

I'm sure there will be more, just can't remember
xx

 

[Amy-Lea]

When I was about 15 I thought there was 18 months in a year, upon discovering there was only 12 I said 'Well why do people say their kids are 18 months old then'

I just told Darren about this thread and he is gunna do my things as I can't remember

...

Jesus, how long is a piece of string:

- West Derby (suburb of Liverpool) is a country inside Liverpool which is a country inside England which is a country inside Great Britain which is a country in the United Kingdom which is a country inside Europe

- On the Royle Family at Christmas, Denise says "Trust you Dave, you knew everyone wanted a leg and you got a Turkey that only has 2 legs" Cue Amy: "Turkeys have 4 legs dont they??" Me: "HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA YERSSSS!!" Amy: "what? how do they walk around then?"

- Middlesbrough is by London, so is Aston Villa (Birmingham), and Newcastle.

- Christmas night, we come home and Amy has lost our house keys. I try to jump over the back fence but the weather makes it impossible. So, we walk around the corner to where my car is parked. Amy gets in and goes 'we will sleep in here.' I said are you f**king mad, its minus a million and your nan lives there, and your mum down there! So, we go to her mums. Next day she rings me 'I know where our keys are!' so I say brilliant, where? 'Well, I walked in the pub with a purple coat on, and I walked out with a black coat on. So Ive been over the pub to get my coat and there are TWO sets of keys in there' Sound, so whos is the black coat "I dunno!"

- Last night, we were talking about animals. I said how many types of elephant are there. She went 'African, Indian, English and cold ones' She thought elephants have dual nationality! I had to explain that there were only Indian and African. She still didnt get it and thought that Elephants in England were English and Elephants in cold places were cold ones.

And Finally:

- Amy rolled her eyes, and I said 'you can even roll your eyes properly.' So she said 'Why?' I said 'you rolled them the wrong way.' She said 'why did I?' I said do you KNOW what that means' so she looked at me and went 'Gay?' I said 'yep.' So she rolled them the other way. I said 'thats it!' A few minutes of silence passed. Then... 'Relieves stress and tension in the eyes' hahaha she had Googled it!!!

Shes bloody legendary!!!!

 

[Amy-Lea]

haha I forgot about the Turkey legs!

 

[Scamp]

When I was about 15 I thought there was 18 months in a year, upon discovering there was only 12 I said 'Well why do people say their kids are 18 months old then'

I just told Darren about this thread and he is gunna do my things as I can't remember

...

Jesus, how long is a piece of string:

- West Derby (suburb of Liverpool) is a country inside Liverpool which is a country inside England which is a country inside Great Britain which is a country in the United Kingdom which is a country inside Europe

- On the Royle Family at Christmas, Denise says "Trust you Dave, you knew everyone wanted a leg and you got a Turkey that only has 2 legs" Cue Amy: "Turkeys have 4 legs dont they??" Me: "HAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA YERSSSS!!" Amy: "what? how do they walk around then?"

- Middlesbrough is by London, so is Aston Villa (Birmingham), and Newcastle.

- Christmas night, we come home and Amy has lost our house keys. I try to jump over the back fence but the weather makes it impossible. So, we walk around the corner to where my car is parked. Amy gets in and goes 'we will sleep in here.' I said are you f**king mad, its minus a million and your nan lives there, and your mum down there! So, we go to her mums. Next day she rings me 'I know where our keys are!' so I say brilliant, where? 'Well, I walked in the pub with a purple coat on, and I walked out with a black coat on. So Ive been over the pub to get my coat and there are TWO sets of keys in there' Sound, so whos is the black coat "I dunno!"

- Last night, we were talking about animals. I said how many types of elephant are there. She went 'African, Indian, English and cold ones' She thought elephants have dual nationality! I had to explain that there were only Indian and African. She still didnt get it and thought that Elephants in England were English and Elephants in cold places were cold ones.

And Finally:

- Amy rolled her eyes, and I said 'you can even roll your eyes properly.' So she said 'Why?' I said 'you rolled them the wrong way.' She said 'why did I?' I said do you KNOW what that means' so she looked at me and went 'Gay?' I said 'yep.' So she rolled them the other way. I said 'thats it!' A few minutes of silence passed. Then... 'Relieves stress and tension in the eyes' hahaha she had Googled it!!!

Shes bloody legendary!!!!

I had to tell Mike the elephant one
x

 

[Amy-Lea]

No I know what I mean about the elephants, I just can't explain it without sounding stupid. I knew there were Indian & African, but I mean like the ones that get put over here 'Cold Ones' Will give birth to an elephant making them Dual Nationality, then another on does the same, then 2 dual nationalities make an English elephant

 

[Scamp]

Another one, Mike just reminded me.

I'm really gullible and will believe anything lol. Our old housemate told me red bull was made of bulls wee because that's what taurine is (Taurus and urine put together) I believed it for ages and told loads of people Then I googled it and it finally clicked.

x