For the TEENS. Feeling uncomfortable?

[oxSarahxo]

Just wondering if there are any likewise teens out there?

I'm feeling more uncomfortable than ever with regards being a pregnant teen since seeing some of the discussions that can go on about it.

Does anyone feel the same or is it just me?

It just seems as if its portrayed as wrong (by the majority) to be pregnant when you're a teenager and I genuinely don't see why. Its really got me feeling upset and doubting myself.

My own mother left me one Christmas as a little girl to be brought up by my Dad and you know, the way people talk of teenage parents, I feel as though I shouldn't be pregnant... My mothers words as she left were "being a wife and a mother is standing in the way of my career"... I don't want a job or my relationship to ever stand between me and my daughter. Is that so wrong?

I genuinely do not understand what the problem is?!

 

[Ella]

Hey Sarah.. I do understand what you're saying.. It sometimes comes across as that other members feel like 'most' pregnant teenagers think that a child is a meal ticket to a council flat and benefits when I seriously doubt that could be further from the truth..

I think you and your OH should be proud of yourselves for making the decision to bring a child into the world and not expecting what society assumes you would; like help from the government.
xx

 

[Ella]

By the way, just to clear it up, I'm not saying there are no teenagers whatsoever that think a child will get them benefits etc.. But I just don't think it's right to generalize.
xx

 

[oxSarahxo]

That's my point though, I get Income Support, OH works to make up the rest of the money, he's never claimed any benefits and worked since he was 16 at the same time as being in education to get him his 2 degrees.

Feels as though if you claim a benefit you may as well be the antichrist.

 

[Ella]

I don't think that's what they mean, even if that's the way it comes across? ..

I think they have an issue with the teens that use their benefits as their only source of income when they are able to work?

Sorry you're feeling uncomfortable.

I'm always here (lurking, lol) if ever you wanna talk.
xx

 

[oxSarahxo]

Well thank you for lurking lol

 

[missjacey44]

I understand exactly what you mean. But i just see it as.. Prove everyone wrong. Not all teen mums are the same.. & i wish everyone would get that into there head and stop assuming every young mum is a bad mum for whatever reason.

 

[Jayden'sMummy]

Hey sarah, my names Rachel and i had my little boy at 16 so i know exactly what your saying. why should we have to work 10 times harder just to prove ourselves, why can't we just do it because we want to and not have to care about what people think of us. i feel like am going to have a break down because i am taking on too much and its draining me bit by bit but i can';t stop myself form caring about what 'they' all say.

Just do what makes you + your baby happy, not everyone around you. always here to chat xx

 

[Wobbles]

I think some of the main problems arise on here anyway when you see posts like a 15 year old actively TTC obviously we're not supporting/encouraging that

Or a teen whos decided to come off the pill in order to fall pregnant without telling the now father to be

A teen falling pregnant for a council house and to collect a payment every week does happen BUT theres adults out there whoh do exactly the same - shoudl never be just pinned on one age group.

If you find any of the posts esspecially in the teens section offensive please feel free to pop me a PM with a link and quick note of where the problems is and we will always look in to it. This section is for pregnancy only (not teens TTC) and is to be used for 'support' not abuse.

x

 

[Rach276]

I do feel like everyone judges me. i felt nervous that the doctor would say something or the people in the chemist when i got my folic acid or the drs receptionist. its silly really but the stigma has made me feel abit uncomfortable. Stupid really because im 18 but i do feel like im being judged all the time. o i feel silly now. My mum left to sarah, two and a half years ago and she was 48 (so not a teen haha) and my dad has been amazing seing as he lost a wife aswell. iv had NO contact since just a bday and crimbo card the first year. i was 16 and my sisters were 10 and 13. she went right in the middle of my gcses, i mean how bad is that? So really mums can be crap at any age. Im going to be an amazing mum because im going to try my best and love my baby with everything i have.

 

[TashaAndBump]

I do feel like everyone judges me. i felt nervous that the doctor would say something or the people in the chemist when i got my folic acid or the drs receptionist. its silly really but the stigma has made me feel abit uncomfortable. Stupid really because im 18 but i do feel like im being judged all the time. o i feel silly now

Don't feel silly. The stigma is definitely there, you're quite right. I don't think I look that young personally, but I quite often get people commenting on things like, if I've just taken my baby out of her sling (where she is totally wrapped up and comfortable) to feed her, and she hasn't got a coat on, old people often feel the need to tell me that she is not wrapped up enough and will catch a fcold, or I get people telling me to 'mind her head' quite a lot! I had someone ask me how old my baby was once, then how old I was, and then she just tutted and walked off with her nose in the air!

Just ignore them hun - they don't know you and didn't bother to find out about you before judging so that shows how good of a person they are! You are 10 times better, and so long as YOU know you are a good mum, then nothing else matters

 

[princess_vix]

Just wondering if there are any likewise teens out there?

I'm feeling more uncomfortable than ever with regards being a pregnant teen since seeing some of the discussions that can go on about it.

Does anyone feel the same or is it just me?

It just seems as if its portrayed as wrong (by the majority) to be pregnant when you're a teenager and I genuinely don't see why. Its really got me feeling upset and doubting myself.

My own mother left me one Christmas as a little girl to be brought up by my Dad and you know, the way people talk of teenage parents, I feel as though I shouldn't be pregnant... My mothers words as she left were "being a wife and a mother is standing in the way of my career"... I don't want a job or my relationship to ever stand between me and my daughter. Is that so wrong?

I genuinely do not understand what the problem is?!

WOW!! i didn't think anyone felt the same....I also feel like this sometimes...and it makes me worry.

It's like you get judged and they don't even know us.I mean i got pregnant by accident but that doesn't mean i don't want this baby and now i'm not going to love it.

I think we are unfairly judged!!!!

 

[Blob]

I think i've been really lucky so far i've never felt like i've been judged by anyone yet... all my friends and family etc have been over the moon. My friends have started talking about having children with their partners and its been amazing everyone has been so interested and supportive Maybe cos i've now turned 20 and friends are all older or in long term relationships i've not had friends who have ditched me or anything But i've heard nothing but positives about having children early

 

[Reedy]

Before I came on this site I was one of those people that judged I personally think its bcus of where I live & there are so many young girls 14-16 with kids that they just couldnt give a toss about, i would see them out EVERY weekend getting smashed, smoking & flicking fag ash all over their poor kids. the mums looked better dressed than the kids, they would be out hanging around the shops at 10-11pm at night with their kids in pushchairs.
Coming on here though has made me realise that not all teen mums are like that & that some of the girls on here are so mature & would make amazing mums & you should be proud of your bump/Baby & dont let people look down on you x I feel ashamed that I put all teen mums in the same catagory but from now on I'll think twice b4 I make comment x sorry girls

 

[LilFlower08]

See Girls, i agree.

Me and OH had a long chat about wanting to start TTC asap. We talked for hours and did decide we were going to. But coming on here I now feel like i couldn't admit to wanting it even tho i work full time am well paid fully qualified in what i do and OH is manager in his profession... Should i really feel like that in society today?

That we can accept all manner of individuality and strange circumstance... none of which i have a prob with... ie Gay marriage? many people could argue all these things as wrong...this that the other... but in a country spouting its acceptance for diversity i think teen and Young pregnancy should just add to a colouful array of society that we live in....

Sorry for blabbering...almost bloody preaching!! hehe!! Off i go!

Wb ladies!! xxx

 

[oxSarahxo]

Its good to know I'm not the only one that feels a bit singled out at times by the general public... I know I'm not as young as some, but I do actually LOOK young which doesn't help.

I know I shouldn't care what people think, but for some reason I do. I'm so far off what some other young mums are, for example the ones mentioned above by Reedy. Just feels as though you always have to prove yourself to someone.

Never mind, I'm inches off having my baby now, as long as I'm a better mother than my mother was, I don't think I have any worries.

I'm lucky really that I'm a teen who's OH didn't run a mile, as so many do (granted he's older).

I'm 20 in about 3 weeks, will I still be allowed in the teen section? lol

 

[pinkmummy]

I found out I was pregnant with Caitlin on my 18th birthday and when I went to the doctors to confirm it the nurse turned around and said to me, and I quote, 'You do know if you keep this baby you will become a statistic for teenage pregnancy.'

I was so shocked. In my opinion teenage pregnancy is no different to any other pregnancy, as long as the parents are mature enough to look after a baby I don't see the problem.

My partner's cousin and his wife were due 3 weeks before I had Caitlin and they were 38 and 40 and it was weird being pregnant at the same time but it turns out we both had our ups and downs with the LO's. Caitlin had really bad colic where as Molly was really bad with her teething but Caitlin hardly ever had problems with them.

Ignore what people say and prove to them how wrong they are!

 

[oxSarahxo]

I found out I was pregnant with Caitlin on my 18th birthday and when I went to the doctors to confirm it the nurse turned around and said to me, and I quote, 'You do know if you keep this baby you will become a statistic for teenage pregnancy.'

I was so shocked. In my opinion teenage pregnancy is no different to any other pregnancy, as long as the parents are mature enough to look after a baby I don't see the problem.

My partner's cousin and his wife were due 3 weeks before I had Caitlin and they were 38 and 40 and it was weird being pregnant at the same time but it turns out we both had our ups and downs with the LO's. Caitlin had really bad colic where as Molly was really bad with her teething but Caitlin hardly ever had problems with them.

Ignore what people say and prove to them how wrong they are!

Thank you, I'm hoping to prove I can be a good Mum

 

[mz_jackie86]

I feel sorry for teen mums because they will always be stigmatised for being young and having children!
I think you are judged because people always see the bad stuff dont they, they always see the girls who dump kids wit other people, go out drinkin, doing drugs and all the bad stuff and because u really cant defend urself aswell as what a 30-40 yr old would then ur the easiest target!
Im 22 and even i am gettin judged for being a young mum and i have done so much with my life already! At the end of the day its just one of the things that comes with society nowadays!

But girls dont feel you have to prove yourself to anyone cos at the end of the day if someone wants to put me into a statistic group let em, im guna be a great mum better than any flippin 30 year old would be and no-1 is going to make me feel guilty about it!!!
x

 

[oxSarahxo]

Now that's some confidence!!