For the unmarried ladies (or married ladies who kept their own name)

[Kirstin]

Baby is getting OHs name but we're getting married a few months later and I'll be taking his name.

 

[Neon]

Neon, it is helpful - at least I know I'm not alone with this dilemma!!

Sure - I'm so glad you started this thread! I'm really interested to see how people weigh up their decision!

 

[Lorien]

Well, I took my husband's name when we got married but I think I still have something to offer this thread...

My own parents were not married when I was born, and I was given my mother's last name and my father's as a middle name. I HATED it when I was growing up: I had many questions like "is your dad your REAL dad?" and the such, and I absolutely hated it. It didn't help that my parents eventually married and my sister has my father's last name and honestly, now I get asked if my dad is my REAL dad and I get asked if my sister is my REAL sister.

Even if I hadn't taken Steve's name when we married, I would absolutely have given our child his last name. I'm ambivilent about having my last name as a middle name, but I still think that's preferable than splitting up the names.

my $0.02

 

[Mary Jo]

OH and I were already engaged when I got pregnant, so it's not really much of an issue for me to give our son his dad's surname because if things had worked out differently I'd already have changed my name. I have very little attachment to my own surname, it's a bit of a pain really because people often have trouble pronouncing it (it's quite normal in Scotland, where my family is originally from, but not at all in northern England, where I was brought up, or London, where I am now). I also always have to spell it out, which gets wearing. So I wouldn't saddle my son with it if I don't have to.

Also, the thing about passing the name on - I have a brother who has a son, so my family name is set to carry on fine, whereas OH's isn't because he has sisters who are married or have given their children their partner's name.

To complicate things slightly, OH's surname isn't even the one he had at birth, the one belonging to his biological father, because he and his mum divorced, his mum remarried and OH hasn't seen his natural dad since he was a small child. But he considers the man who brought him up, his step dad, as his real dad, so he has an attachment to his name.

Double-barrelling isn't an option, it'd sound weird! And I don't especially even want to give my son my name as a middle name. There are much nicer names in my family if I wanted to go that route.

I DO think it'll be odd before we're married that my child and I won't share a surname, but it's a temporary situation.

 

[jojo2605]

Hey, we're giving baby OH's name but yes it really bothers me that it will be different to mine. Before I found out I was pregnant (wasn't planned) marriage looked to be on the agenda... now we can't afford it with baby on the way. We'll have to settle with getting married in a couple of years and then I will have the same name as both of them! Its going to bug the hell out if me until then though! x x x

 

[NuttyJester]

I had many questions like "is your dad your REAL dad?" and the such, and I absolutely hated it.

I completely understand, that's how it was when I was younger...

Where I teach however, it's more and more likely that kids these days have a different surname to one of their parents... When we make contact with a parent, we always check the database first to find out their name!

 

[Vici]

Our LO will have my DFs name as we are getting married next year

 

[xarxa]

We're giving Embla both our surnames, OH's as middle name and mine as the actual surname.

Then Embla can decide herself when she's old enough which one she wants to keep.

 

[Mumof42009]

All my kids have my name but oh has been talking about changing our dd and having this baby in his but wouldnt be fair to my older 2 from previous relationship i would rather us all have my name and when/if he gets his finger out and we get married we will all change our name. x

 

[Mork]

This is a really interesting thread for me......
DH and I have been married nearly 3 years, I ummed and aahhhd when we married about my name and eventually changed it to his a couple of months later. However, I kept my name at work. Well, I have never really got used to having his surname as it just doesn't beklong to me and despite 3 years of trying to get used to it, I just can't - feels like it belongs to someone who isn't me as I can't get used to it!! Consequently, I have now changed it back by deed poll to my maiden name. DH wasn't best pleased but has let me go ahead. He already has 2 children from a previous relationship who both have his surname. We have agreed to double barrall to a, make them part of both of us in name abd b, to give them a seperate identity yet link to his 'first' family. ~Hope this is of interest (if not thanks for reading my rant!!!). Good luck with what you decide, but make sure it is right before you do it. xx

 

[charliesmom]

My last name is hyphenated… it has been for the 3 and half years that I’ve been married and I HATE IT. You always have to repeat yourself a million times when making appointments, or anything that have to do with confirming your identity. It is such a pain in the butt that I’m actually in the process of changing my double last name to just my husband’s. I love the idea of belonging to a family (hubby, me, and kids). My kids will take my hubby’s surname.

 

[aidensxmomma]

My OH and I plan on getting married in the near(ish) future, but both of our kids will have/have my last name. I always have that mentality of "if something happens"...so it just made more sense to me for the kids to get my last name. Once my OH and I get married, we will be changing the kids' last names to my OH's. My OH actually liked that arrangement but his parents have told me multiple times that they are very "upset" with it and think we made the wrong choice. But it works for us. Plus, my parents did the same thing when I was born, and the arrangement worked for me. Really, it's just a personal choice though.

 

[Clare Bear]

Were giving baby double-barrelled name.

As had problems with oldest when she took last name of her dad, i ended up changing her last name to mine, he dragged me through court when he got wind of it (the only time in 6yrs (at the time) that he took an interest) hit a nerve finally i think lol, glad i did as he still dont bother with her now.

Clare x

 

[chel27]

i am not married but our LO has my OHs name as tradition. my son from a prevoius marriage has his dads name to and i also still have my married name sp my son doesnt feel left out and so i connect with him IYKNIM so yes i do see where your coming from xx

 

[PixieBaby]

My first 3 kids all have the same father, so of course they have the same surname. I was married to their father, and when we divorced, I decided to keep the last name my children had, just to feel that connection.

Well this baby has a different father, but we were never married, nor are we together now. But I have decided to give this baby the same last name as me and my other 3 children, just so we all feel a connection to this baby and that the baby wont feel left out of our little family when she becomes older.

But it is definitely a personal choice and not one that always makes everyone happy. I know the father of my baby was hoping that I would give her his last name and just doesnt understand where I am coming from. Oh well, thats his problem...lol

 

[andbabymakes3]

We are not married and dont plan on being for the forseeable future, so decided on double barrelled.
I am an only child and my other half has a sister who can´t have kids, so we are both the end of the line for our surnames.
He would have preferred his name then mine, however we both agreed it sounds better with mine first...heehee.
If we were to ever get married I would go double barrelled so wont really affect the little one.

 

[Septie]

We are married, but I kept my name. Our son will get my last name (Oh's is more "foreign" than mine, consists of several words, is constantly misspelled and causes a lot of inconveniences in daily life). We are considering his last name, or parts thereof, as a middle name. We haven't told my inlaws yet - I am sure we'll get a lot of grief, as OH and our son will be the "official" continuation of the family line which is part of their country's nobility (I am not kidding, they take this very seriously ) I am sure my MIL will kill us

 

[Vestirse]

I am married and did take my husband's name but I have to say, I didn't do this out of any sort of tradition. I did it because OH had a prettier last name. We talked about it and he agreed that if I wanted him to take my last name he would have. And if I wanted to make us a new name (he really liked this idea and is still in fact suggesting names), we could have done that too.

The only complication to making a new name and why I did not go that route is that OH is from Italy and our child will also be registered as an Italian citizen. However, in Italy, a child can only have either the mother's last name at birth, or the father's last name at birth and cannot ever change again unless the name is deemed shameful. And before 2006, it HAD to be the father's name. So that meant neither of us could change our names in Italy (I am registered and will be getting citizenship through marriage) and we could then only give our child either my last name or his last name.

So the choice as my last name or his last name and I chose his since it's really pretty. Had mine been the nicer of the two, we'd all have mine. I grew up with a family who did that. The Dad had a horrendous long tongue twisting German name that no one in the US could pronounce, so it made more sense to take the pretty one syllable English name of the Mom! And the entire family did that, including Dad.

 

[Char&Bump-x]

I'm giving my LO OH's name, cos i like it better.
I never had the same surname as my mum, never bothered me, and it doesnt bother me about my LO having a different name either. It doesnt make her any less MY daughter x

 

[lesleyann]

We are giving our son my Oh last name since we are engaged and when we get married i till take his last name but it wa sup in the air for a while since i did not want baby to have a different last name to me but i profer Newson(oh) to Hobbs(mine) but the only problem i have with his last name is like when we got a cheque to pay in they got his name right on the letter but the cheque said Newsome

The other thing that kind of did it was in Oh's family its tradition for boys to be Wailes Newson and since he only has a sister who will no doubt get married and change her name he is the last male in the whole family to be able to pass it on we was going to have my surname in his name but his name is already

Kyle Dylan Wailes Newson so adding in hobbs would make it quite long lol im still not 100% sure i wont change my mind but for now its Oh's last name


Since in my family there is only 2 males who can carry on hobbs one of them i can never see having children and one is basicly 100% going into care so they will change his name so that only leave it to me and my couson charlotte to carry on my family name since my younger brothers last name is different * Archer*

i guess im not much help lol