Forgetting a baby in the back seat of a car- is it a crime?

[whoops]

Whit, that case is different. She knew her baby was there and there is plenty of info circulating and common sense that pillows and unsupervised sleeping in anything other than crib/bassinet etc is very dangerous. However good her intentions, she put her baby in that position purposefully. These poor parents did not.

These parents didn't know their child was in the car? or they were neglectful and FORGOT their child was in the car? It's not like they didn't know, they did.

Yes, but memory's tricky and can play tricks on you. It's one thing that you really don't have control over.

My short-term memory can be notoriously bad at times. When I was a teenager, there was a few times that my parents would head off for the day, leaving a chicken in the oven. They'd ring home and ask me to turn on the oven at a certain time, then we'd chat for a few minutes. It was 50/50 as to whether I'd remember to turn on the oven by the time I put down the phone. I know it's not in the same league, at all, but your mind and your memory are not infallible. I'm sure everyone's experienced not being able to remember someone's name, even though you knew it the day before and it's right at the tip of the tongue.

 

[MummytoSummer]

Oh my goodness, that is just too sad for words.

I can't begin to imagine, that poor poor baby. RIP x

 

[kermie219]

no but it should be it's reckless and irresponsible and no offense but if someone left a dog in a car and "forgot" they'd be in jail

 

[whit.]

 

[Jaylynne]

Dogs usually jump, bark and make a raucous as soon as the car stops though. A little hard to forget they are there.

 

[deafgal]

it depends. If you and another adult (like the father) had a miscommunication, and assume one of each got the baby for whatever reasons, it is easy to forget the baby.

 

[Spunky]

My parents forgot my brother and I at school till like 5:30pm because they thought the other was picking us up. Miscommunications happen...

Edited to add no cell phones in these days!

 

[MikaylasMummy]

I could never do it as I have my kids 24/7 so when they'r not with me at uni and I drive home or whatever I constantly look to see why their being so quiet..but their not there.I'd NEVER forget.HOWEVER if a parent who is driving to work the same way they do every day and they usually do not have their baby with them although unforgivable and it shouldn't happen I can see how they may go into autopilot and do what they normally do.in saying that I think it IS their fault as you just can't make a mistake like that when you have a child.it's heartbreaking and I'm still working up the courage to read the article

 

[Eliza_V]

It's a terrible tragedy - but I don't think it's a 'crime', per se. With the busy lifestyles people lead nowadays having to think of a hundred things at once, and with the babies being in the back with rear-facing car-seats (often sleeping in them silently) coupled with being sleep deprived and stressed, it's unfortunately common to see why it happens. But it is a terrible, tragic accident... It would break any parents heart, and that is a life sentence in itself. It doesn't even bear thinking about.

I've been driving my LO to her swimming lesson, and a song came on in the car that sent me back to when I had just passed my driving test, and I was singing along to it honestly feeling like I was 17 again. A few minutes later I happened to glance in my rear-view mirror only to see my LO staring back at me through her mirror that's attached to the middle seat.. I can honestly say it shocked me, as I'd forgotten she was in the car with me (despite the fact she is 99% of the time, and I was driving her to HER swimming lesson ) I leave baby things in the front seat where possible (there's the emergency change bag in the footwell) so I don't ever forget, as I have that reminder as a safety-net. My memory is terrible when I'm stressed and sleep-deprived, and I will do whatever I can to stop anything happening. I think I've seen that suggested on a website somewhere, like hanging booties from the rear-view mirror. Some people can't help their memories not being up-to-scratch and I don't think that's a crime - I have mental health issues which unfortunately means my mind goes off on a tangent and I can occasionally forget things or mix them up. But I still have never left my child in the car, and I will do my best to make sure it never happens.

My Nan also told me that not long after my uncle was born, she left him in his pram outside the shops and took the bus home!! Thankfully she realised, and when she got back he was still there.

However, someone leaving their baby in the car on purpose for any length of time and going shopping or whatever IS a crime.

 

[Snowball]

I don't know about the ins and outs of the human mind but I seriously don't think I could forget Louie was in the car. Or EVEN if I had... it wouldn't take me all day to remember. I often go over what I've done that day in my head. Like when I've dropped the kids off at school I sit down when I get home and double check in my mind that they had everything. I just don't get it

 

[babyblog]

no but it should be it's reckless and irresponsible and no offense but if someone left a dog in a car and "forgot" they'd be in jail

If I forgot my baby and it died I would happily go to prison as I know it would be my fault , but there would be no point. Nothing could hurt me more than having to live after knowing I caused my own child to die.

It's so easy to forget things, last week I got half way to my office and released I hadn't dropped my son to my mums house and had to turn round ! My hubbie normally does it you see and my mind was on work at the time.there were no dire consequences , but it had the potential had he been younger and quieter

 

[Natasha2605]

I understand forgetting for a minute or five if they've maybe fallen asleep while you've been driving. If they were making ANY kind of noise then I really don't see how they could have been forgotten.

Even when I leave Summer with my mum I sit afterwards and go through ''Did I give her...'' ''Has she got...''. How did those parents not even think about their child after. Surely it should have clicked at some point and not taken a whole day?


Although reading that article really shocked me with the one who made the comment about why she didn't get a new car ''Because it didn't make financial sense''. Wow. No way could I drive the same car again. They just seemed too blaise about the situation to me!

Anyhow, no I don't think it's a crime if it was 100% a genuine mistake. No jail sentence would echo the one they are already feeling. God knows how those parents can live with themselves... I know I couldn't!

 

[babyblog]

I don't know about the ins and outs of the human mind but I seriously don't think I could forget Louie was in the car. Or EVEN if I had... it wouldn't take me all day to remember. I often go over what I've done that day in my head. Like when I've dropped the kids off at school I sit down when I get home and double check in my mind that they had everything. I just don't get it

In the stories I have read, either the person thinks they have actually dropped them off and therefore don't remember until they get a call from their partner or nursery or, forget they were even meant to drop them off in the first place. S once they get to their place of work, they dont remember that they haven't done t they were meant to

 

[tommyg]

I work in a nursery an we've had a few children arrive late because parents have forgot to drop them off then realised on way or when they've arrived. One mother took her child to work 2mondays in row because LO normally went to grandmas on a Monday but she was on holiday. Luckily none have had such a horrible end. Not sure if it's a crime it's too difficult .

That is scary that somebody could forget 2 weeks in a row.

I read the whole artical and I can understand how it happens. People have 101 things on their minds they think they dropped LO off and forget. I honestly don't believe it's a crime its not willful those are doting parents who make a horrendous mistake.

There is something about people can only keep an average of 7 things in their minds at a time. So taking calls while driving can mean that your 7 things are the driving and the calls LO slips out of your mind.

I know somebody who managed to leave her son (now 40) outside a shop and was half way home when she remembered about him.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I can't decide tbh, I don't think I will ever be in that position as I don't drive so I'm thankful. I think it is a crime but the punishment is a life sentence by itself-- knowing you caused your LO's death.

 

[special_kala]

It's not really a case of forgetting they are in the car, in their mind they have already dropped baby off. our minds play tricks on us sometimes.

This was actually on one tree hill this week so it seems awareness it getting better which is a good thing.

 

[Louise1985]

i feel awful for admitting to this but i have done it myself (not as extreme tho)...i went to collect Dylan from school and normally i would just wizz and get him whilst oliver was with my partner but this particular day i had him with me, as jamie was out at a job interview and my mind was on auto-pilot...i got out the car and locked it, walked about 100yrds before realising i had left him in the back of the car...i have never run so fast in my life!!!

he was fast asleep and although it was only for about a minute and the car was still in my sight...i felt so guilty and got very upset afterwards...but it was a moment of forget-fulness so i can actually see how things like this happen especially if you are sleep deprived or have 101 things on you mind,,,no excuse i know

i know nothing should slip your mind when it comes to your precious children but sometimes it just does..............

 

[Menelly]

There is a case not far from me about a mom who let her baby go to sleep on her bed, put pillows around him so he didn't fall off, and the baby got smothered by the pillows. She is getting charged for neglect. Should she not?

See, to me there is a (sad) difference. That mother DID intend to surround the baby with pillows, which resulted in accidental death. The "forgetting in car" parents lacked intent, and intent is an important part of any criminal case.

 

[Menelly]

I've had people tell me that I'm a bit too involved, when I dial 911 any time I see children left in a car. Maybe mom is only going to be gone 5 min, or whatever. But you never EVER know if this is a parent who was "just running in for a min" or a parent that genuinely forgot their baby, and the baby's life is in danger. I call the emergency number every single time I see it. I'd rather risk pissing someone off than risk a baby's life.

 

[pixeldust]

A tragedy, yes. A crime, no. Those parents have a life sentence regardless of how or whether they are prosecuted - they have lost their child.