Forgetting a baby in the back seat of a car- is it a crime?

[MommaAlexis]

My parents were supposed to drop us off at school but when they got close to the school we were just sleepy and didn't talk, they were on their way to a long trip and since we were so quiet they somehow forgot they hadn't actually STOPPED at the school, and only drove by it. We were three hours out of town when I got hungry and asked when we would have some food. This was TWO parents, in the SAME vehicle. For three hours! IT HAPPENS. My mom also forgot to pick me up from school one day that we got out early because it wasn't a normal school day. She'd had advanced warning but forgot. We ate chocolate cake for supper until she showed up around four. She was quite frazzled when she realized it was that day! I also woke up this morning thinking it was Wednesday, because I've been running on auto pilot all week. Quite the shock to find out it's FRIDAY! Lost two days because of routine. These things happen to everyone, my parents never even let us out of their sight and they forgot us. Luckily for us we were old enough to make a sound before they had left the car!

 

[babylove719]

i can't believe I was able to get through that article at all, it's left me sick to my stomach.
I don't know if I feel it is a crime, I can hardly think about it rationally. On one hand a life is lost on account of someone's neglectful actions whether intentional or not. But on the other hand, living with having done that would be plenty punishment enough for any parent....

I just cannot imagine

 

[MommaAlexis]

Forgot to add, having said my view on it, the ONLY reason I think it needs to be punished is because some parents will say they "forgot" their child if they know they can get away with it. Therefore, everyone should be punished for it to protect those few children who are killed by caretakers and parents.

 

[Duejan2012]

I think its a big crime. What the hell is more important then your child. I dont give a crap if they were tired and or had a busy day or couldnt see the baby in the mirror or whatever the effing reason is. ITS A CRIME!!! I cried seeing this artical along with another one i commented too just before this post. WTF do people think. Babies or inocent. they cant take care of themselfes that is why there are moms and dads! I read too last year that there was a girl that arrived sooooo tired from work that she left her infant in the car over night in the middle of winter. The poor little baby froze to death. I think about and think about how much those babies who get left in the cars etc cry and cry and cry and cant figure out why no one is picking them up! It makes me sick If my kids cry for longer then a few seconds i feel like im a bad mom for letting them cry too long. Anyways ITS A CRIME in my opinion

 

[babylove719]

I don't think I will sleep well tonight.... Just want to go in and stare at my daughter and listen to her breathing

 

[MommaAlexis]

I think this quote from the article is SO true.

In hyperthermia cases, he believes, the parents are demonized for much the same reasons. "We are vulnerable, but we don't want to be reminded of that. We want to believe that the world is understandable and controllable and unthreatening, that if we follow the rules, we'll be okay. So, when this kind of thing happens to other people, we need to put them in a different category from us. We don't want to resemble them, and the fact that we might is too terrifying to deal with. So, they have to be monsters."

 

[ashley2pink]

Wow, thats tough! There are those who do it on purpose because they dont want to trudge the lo in and that would be a yes on crime. But those who completely did it on accident I would say No. Can you imagine having the worst possible thing happen to you, which would be losing your child. Then on top of that being blamed and having criminal charges on you when you would never intentionally hurt your child and it was a complete accident. Its like sids. What if you put your baby to bed with a blanket or had the house too warm on accident(which can cause sids) and then you had criminal charges filed on you for it and went to jail. Its just too horrid to do to a parent who is going the worst thing mankind can know

Them losing their child is the worst punishment in itself

 

[deafgal]

I wish cars have self ventilations

 

[Menelly]

I wish cars have self ventilations

Wonder if someone could invent a rear of the car motion sensing system, that would roll down automatic windows if it detects motion in the backseat >5 min after the car is turned off? Or perhaps a rear motion detector that connects to like the Onstar system. If there's motion in the backseat >5 min after the car has been turned off, it notifies Onstar, they try to get ahold of anyone in the car, and if there isn't a response (or they hear crying) they contact police? (Or remotely start the car and roll down windows THEN contact police?)

A smart phone application tied to a rear car motion detector... if there's motion in the backseat, it sends a signal to your phone letting you know there's motion in the backseat, giving you time to get back to your car?

There is SO MUCH technology nowadays, it seems like SOMEONE could be trying to come up with a way to prevent these types of tragedies. I'm just throwing ideas out there, but there's gotta be SOMETHING that could work...

 

[steph.]

Its a tragic incident- both for the children who lost their lives, and for the parents who will never forgive themselves. I am sure those parents never thought something like this could happen to them, and we all like to think we are better parents than them, but I can understand how it could happen.

I am not sure if it should be punishable. The parents will suffer for the rest of their lives already, but if its not punishable, someone could possibly intentionally murder their child and not get charged.

Maybe they could fit child seats with an alarm?

 

[LJaydow]

It is difficult, because yes he might not have intentionally left the child in the car....but its your child...how do you "forget" about your child? If he was meant to be at daycare, why did no one ring to see where he was?

Very tragic regardless, but I find it exceptionally hard to believe that not for 5 minutes, an hour, but a whole day a child was forgotten about. Surely said child would enter the dads mind at some point during the day?

 

[special_kala]

It is difficult, because yes he might not have intentionally left the child in the car....but its your child...how do you "forget" about your child? If he was meant to be at daycare, why did no one ring to see where he was?

Very tragic regardless, but I find it exceptionally hard to believe that not for 5 minutes, an hour, but a whole day a child was forgotten about. Surely said child would enter the dads mind at some point during the day?

It probably did but his brain was telling him he was at daycare so no need to worry.

 

[Arlee]

I can understand how a parent can forget a child. Especially if you have more than one child and have a lot going on.
I think it's hard for parents of only one to understand how you would forget your child is in the back seat but when you have two or more children and a lot of balls in the air you need to juggle, it is easy to do.
Once I picked up my son from Kindergarten and accidentally left my baby there (inside the kinder) and I didn't realise until I got to the carpark! It's called a busy mind and lack of sleep!

I think the pain of losing a child would be enough of a punishment for these parents.

 

[smelly07]

I really do not think that it was a crime, it wasnt something that was done deliberately and i do not think prison will do any good is this matter. I feel for the family.

My MIL left my husbands eldest sister down the shops when she was a baby in her pram and she got all the way home before realising!! lack of sleep/tiredness/stress lots and lots of things can contribute to memory lapse.

 

[hypnorm]

One of our vets left his dog in the car all day, he has gone to sleep on the back seat so vet was running bait late and just came straight in to work. he was mortified when he remembered at about 3 in the afternoon. He said he coudl have sworn he put him in kennels as he came in. It does happen. What I find hard to understand that at some point the kids must be screaming their heads off.... Does no one hear anything these days?

I still think it should be punished to a degree, certainly not left as it would be a loop hole for abuseres

 

[Arlee]

My Mum also forgot to pick me up from school once when I was about 7. She didn't remember until dinner time! She had five kids I don't blame her.

 

[emilyjade]

I think each case should be looked at so carefully and not say yes it is a crime or not. After reading that article it changed my mind so much! At first i thought id never forget but its more common than first thought. I dont personally see how every case could be a crime whereas others are. For example nipping into Tescos leaving your baby in the car because youd only be 5 mins but you got delayed for some reason or another. To me yes that is a crime, you had every intention of leaving the child. On the other hand thinking you had already dropped the said child off at daycare and whole heartily forgetting like that man, i dont think that could be a crime. Its such a hard thing to judge, that man will never be able to move on from such an awful tragic accident and i think his own mind/life is punishment enough.

All i can possibly say is its opened my eyes so much!

 

[fi79]

When you prosecute someone for a crime it is meant to punish them for their actions, to make them to realise their error and repent. If the crime carries a custodial sentence it is meant to prevent them from committing another crime. Prosecuting a crime meant to be in the public interest either because the person poses a further danger, is likely to offend again or to warn the rest of society not to do something. Does anyone really think that someone, as they are leaving their car, think 'oh, i'd better take the baby or i might go to jail'? No, in these tragic cases it's an unconcious thing and those who decide to do ot rather than get a babysitter it would make no difference - they already know it's wrong. In these cases I don't think any criminal prosecution could punish a parent anymore than they, and possibly their families, will punish themselves. They will live with the guilt and pain forever. I suppose some of these parents woll actually feel even more hideous NOT being prosecuted. I can't imagine doing it myself, being so busy that I'd forget my baby, but I do have a measure of sympathy for these people

 

[JZW]

I do feel sympathetic for the parents in this article. It was difficult to read it but I made myself so I would have the horror of it to prompt me everytime I left the car. There's one part of that article that I wish I never read though
I can see how it can happen. There's been so many times where I've check I've switched off the gas before I leave the house, and then I'm out and I'm thinking "did I really switch it off? Or was that yesterday?". Your mind does play tricks on you especially when it's things that you do on auto-pilot.
Luckily I don't drive so I always sit with LO at the back while DH drives us. I have told him that if either of us ever travel alone with LO, we need to leave her massive changing bag in the passenger seat so we don't ever forget her.
The article mentioned electronic systems that can prompt the parents but it is very sad that people don't want to manufacture them in case the systems fail somehow and they get sued.
It this ever happened to me, I would want to be punished- but I know that nothing would EVER be punishment enough for knowing that my child died a painful and slow death because I forgot about them I wouldn't be able to live with myself.
As for the woman that wouldn't change her car, she says it's for financial reasons but reading the rest of it, maybe she is continuously punishing herself by keeping the same car. In a warped way, she might be keeping the memory raw so that she can tell people about the dangers?

 

[louandivy]

When you prosecute someone for a crime it is meant to punish them for their actions, to make them to realise their error and repent. If the crime carries a custodial sentence it is meant to prevent them from committing another crime. Prosecuting a crime meant to be in the public interest either because the person poses a further danger, is likely to offend again or to warn the rest of society not to do something. Does anyone really think that someone, as they are leaving their car, think 'oh, i'd better take the baby or i might go to jail'? No, in these tragic cases it's an unconcious thing and those who decide to do ot rather than get a babysitter it would make no difference - they already know it's wrong. In these cases I don't think any criminal prosecution could punish a parent anymore than they, and possibly their families, will punish themselves. They will live with the guilt and pain forever. I suppose some of these parents woll actually feel even more hideous NOT being prosecuted. I can't imagine doing it myself, being so busy that I'd forget my baby, but I do have a measure of sympathy for these people

You pretty much summed up everything I wanted to say in this post!