Found this article on the sun website - what are you thoughts

[Nic1107]

I don't personally understand gender disappointment, but I know there are women even here on the forum who have had it, or still do, and they hardly need to come in here and be called disgusting. It's a genuine psychological condition, and they can't very well help it. It's not like the woman in the article is abandoning her boys at the hospital, and she stated several times how grateful she is to have them and how much she loves them.

It's like depression- no matter how many times people tell you you had ought to just count your blessing and get over it, you can't can you? I don't know how I feel about the woman in the article and I don't much care what she does in her own life. But I'm sick of how liberally the word 'disgusting' is thrown around to describe women who already feel like shit about they way can't help feeling.

 

[Rebecca_B]

I never cared what sex my babies were, i just wanted to be reassured they were normal at the ultrasounds.

My mum however had a girl preference when she was carrying her firstborn. So sure it was a girl and when she popped out a boy after a traumatic 2 day labour she instantly rejected him. wouldn't look at him for 2 days!! Could you imagine that? She never excepted it until i was born 2 yrs later.

Since her grandchildren have been born she has also favoured the girls. it really f***ed me off when i needed her support and saw that she wasn't really bothered with george and i didn't speak to her for nearly a yr because of her favouritism towards the girls.

So i know first hand how wanting/prefering a certain gender effects family members.

I just don't get it.

I think it's selfish.

 

[jakey1]

Children are their own personality. You might want a girl to go shopping with or do girly things but you could get a tomboy daughter who hates those things or a camp boy who loves clothes shopping. You never know and gender is no guarantee of these things. Nature knows what it is doing I think and we should not interfere.

Definately!! I was extremely blessed to have boy/girl twins but my daughter loves playing with building blocks and her brothers JCB truck, whilst my son loves playing with his sister's bright pink Fifi & The Flowertots ride-on My daughter wont allow me to do anything pretty with her hair and she's such a tom-boy it's unbelievable. This will all probably change as they get older (not that I particularly care mind you) but I really do think that this lady should be grateful that she's been fortunate enough to have 5 healthy and beautiful children, and to express disappointment to that extreme is awful IMO when there are women out there who would give anything to have a child, regardless of the gender xx

 

[PreggyEggy]

I think gender disappointment is real and awful for those that get it, but this women and what she plans to do is awful.

 

[Dopeyjopey]

I'm not sure how I feel about it. I can understand someone wanting a particular gender but it seems her reasons for wanting a girl mean she may as well just buy a doll to dress up. Not all girls like pink, dressing up and ballet. Sounds like she'd push them into it to me

 

[bubbles123]

I also think you have to bear in mind that this technology could be extremely dangerous if other parts of the world adopt it. Nature naturally provides about 50-50 boys to girls. If people are allowed to choose the sex (except in the case of avoiding hereditary disease which is allowed and perfectly understandable) you risk skewing nature. Whilst in the UK/USA it may not make much difference as there may be equal desire for both sexes in other countries or cultures you could see a huge increase in the number of males which would be good for no one - you'd get a situation like in China or India with too many men and female infanticide common place. So whilst I do understand the yearning for a girl (I have a boy and would love my next to be a girl) you really do just have to accept nature knows best.

 

[smokey]

putting aside gender dissapointment for a moment does anyone see this as being very different from wanting more children in general?

Basicly saying to someone they dont love their boys just because they want a girl can be (im my eyes maybe not others) like saying to someone you dont love your other children and arnt they enough if you want another one.

I probably havnt made any sense there.

 

[mystika802]

I think its sad those boys are always going to think their mom didn't want them........

 

[smokey]

I think its sad those boys are always going to think their mom didn't want them........

This is what im on about, the paper probably put it in a realy annoying way but im sure just because she wants a girl doesnt for one second mean she loves her boys any less.

I mean wanting a second child or any after doesnt mean in the slightest that you love your other children any less or that they wernt enough for you.

I realy want a girl but my boy will ALWAYS have a huge part in my heart and life and I will love him no less for wanting a girl or if I ever have one.

 

[jakey1]

putting aside gender dissapointment for a moment does anyone see this as being very different from wanting more children in general?

Basicly saying to someone they dont love their boys just because they want a girl can be (im my eyes maybe not others) like saying to someone you dont love your other children and arnt they enough if you want another one.

I probably havnt made any sense there.

I can see the point that your making and it does make sense lol but personally I think the two are very different. Some people just love having lots of children around them, regardless of their gender. A friend of mine who is a SAHM has just had a second child and her reason for wanting another child was because she wanted her LO to have siblings, rather than being an only child (not that I think there is anything wrong with only having one child btw - that's a personal choice). I can totally understand how some people could have a preference as to their babies' gender but I don't think that broadcasting your feelings to a National Newspaper is really the right way to express those feelings. The way that lady felt when finding out that she was having another boy at each of her scans is now archived forever, and personally if I read now that my mum had broke down in tears when she found out I was a girl and not the boy that she craved, I'd feel absolutely gutted. She may very well have felt this way, and breathed a huge sigh of relief when my brother came along 4 years later, but I certainly wouldn't want to know that, and even more so, wouldn't want the rest of the world to know - now I'm probably not making any sense

 

[smokey]

putting aside gender dissapointment for a moment does anyone see this as being very different from wanting more children in general?

Basicly saying to someone they dont love their boys just because they want a girl can be (im my eyes maybe not others) like saying to someone you dont love your other children and arnt they enough if you want another one.

I probably havnt made any sense there.

I can see the point that your making and it does make sense lol but personally I think the two are very different. Some people just love having lots of children around them, regardless of their gender. A friend of mine who is a SAHM has just had a second child and her reason for wanting another child was because she wanted her LO to have siblings, rather than being an only child (not that I think there is anything wrong with only having one child btw - that's a personal choice). I can totally understand how some people could have a preference as to their babies' gender but I don't think that broadcasting your feelings to a National Newspaper is really the right way to express those feelings. The way that lady felt when finding out that she was having another boy at each of her scans is now archived forever, and personally if I read now that my mum had broke down in tears when she found out I was a girl and not the boy that she craved, I'd feel absolutely gutted. She may very well have felt this way, and breathed a huge sigh of relief when my brother came along 4 years later, but I certainly wouldn't want to know that, and even more so, wouldn't want the rest of the world to know - now I'm probably not making any sense

No I understand that she has gone about it in a very stupid way but alot of that is proably down to the reporter (its the sun afterall) and I completly disagree with gender selection, I cant bare the thought of if something like gender selection was offered to me if I would have been tempted by it and not have my beautifull boy.

She has probably done the article to help pay towards the treatment.

I just dont think its fair to claim someone doesnt love their boys enough just becuse they want a girl or vice versa.
I know it pretty much says as such in the article but I have no doubt that it wasnt ment like that, how can anyone keep having children and then say they didnt want them (it take a very unhinged person for that)

 

[babyblog]

I don't think we shoudl judge actually, it's really none of our business!

 

[Lyndz]

She's put her story in a newspaper making it EVERYONES business!

It's disgusting that she's cried at her scans because she was having boys, to be able to HAVE children in a blessing, reguardless of gender. What happens when her sons grow up and read that they weren't enough to fullfill their mother?! That is truely, truely awful and my heart goes out to woman who can't have kids, who wouldn't care if they had 1 boy or 10, not this selfish, boo hoo woman who just wants a girl to take shopping and dress frilly

 

[louandivy]

I don't really get gender preference to be honest. My friend is pregnant and her and her OH keep saying how much they want a boy. I just don't understand why they care? When I was pregnant all I wanted was for my baby to be healthy. Sometimes I would think 'oh if I had a boy that would be amazing, but ahhh a girl, that would be amazing too!' I really don't care if I have a boy or a girl in future pregnancies, this is never something I will understand at all.

 

[jakey1]

No I understand that she has gone about it in a very stupid way but alot of that is proably down to the reporter (its the sun afterall) and I completly disagree with gender selection, I cant bare the thought of if something like gender selection was offered to me if I would have been tempted by it and not have my beautifull boy.

She has probably done the article to help pay towards the treatment.

I just dont think its fair to claim someone doesnt love their boys enough just becuse they want a girl or vice versa.
I know it pretty much says as such in the article but I have no doubt that it wasnt ment like that, how can anyone keep having children and then say they didnt want them (it take a very unhinged person for that)

I totally agree that she probably didn't mean it to come across in the way that it has and she probably loves her boys to pieces but unfortunately if you sell your story to The Sun, your leaving yourself open to having your words misinterpreted and twisted - as someone else commented, if they had worded it more subtly and how she had probably intended it to come across, we wouldn't be discussing it now cos it wouldn't have made the type of shocking news that The Sun likes to broadcast in order to sell papers

 

[louandivy]

She's put her story in a newspaper making it EVERYONES business!

LOL my thoughts exactly. I have no guilt judging someone who put her story in the bloody Sun! Definitely our business thanks very much

 

[babyblog]

She's put her story in a newspaper making it EVERYONES business!

It's disgusting that she's cried at her scans because she was having boys, to be able to HAVE children in a blessing, reguardless of gender. What happens when her sons grow up and read that they weren't enough to fullfill their mother?! That is truely, truely awful and my heart goes out to woman who can't have kids, who wouldn't care if they had 1 boy or 10, not this selfish, boo hoo woman who just wants a girl to take shopping and dress frilly

She is entitled to her own feelings and if that is how she feels then that is how she feels. I completely understand what people are saying about the fact that other people would just be grateful to have a healthy child,but her feeling the way she does has no direct impact on a couple who are sadly unable to have children. It's her life and her decisions, i don't think she is vile or disgusting as others have said.

 

[tu123]

She's put her story in a newspaper making it EVERYONES business!

LOL my thoughts exactly. I have no guilt judging someone who put her story in the bloody Sun! Definitely our business thanks very much

Haha! Exactly. I am not even going to read the article as the posts seemed to have filled me in. The Sun is good for a laugh and to look at other womens tits and wish mine looked more like them! Apart from that the vocab is a little to basic for me. Tee hee. Such a snob

 

[Foogirl]

Frankly, I don't think it is for me to judge this woman or her motives.

She said she loves her boys but craves a girl, I don't see what is so wrong with that. I have no idea how I would feel in her situation, so I find it difficult to berate her for her views.

I never had a preference before having Abby. Now I've had a girl, I think I'd like two, but that doesn't mean I'd love a boy any less.

Each to their own and as long as she is a loving caring mother, what she does is up to her.

 

[Windmills]

I wouldn't read or believe anything published by The Scum!