Freaking out for no apparent reason

[Cattia]

Abigail has recently turned two and this is quite a recent thing - sometimes she will just freak out like she is terrified of something, but I have no idea why. For example, at music class the other week, they were doing the activity that they always do where they have a massive parachute, and all the children hold the edges and flap it up and down, then the mums hold it while the children go underneath. She's done it loads of times,and when it came to going underneath she just freaked out and wouldn't stop screaming.

Yesterday we were in town, and we were about to go into the cafe we always go into for tea and cake, and again she freaked out and refused to go in. She normally gets really excited about it!

Today she screamed for ages at nap time because she didn't want to go to bed, but she seemed genuinely scared and was shaking! I have a feeling this is something to do with an old TV socket that is above her bed from the people who lived here before us who had a massive flat screen TV on the wall.She often talks about it being a man (it does kind of have two holes that look a bit like eyes) and I think she is scared of it. I was going to take it off the wall but DH thinks that might just be encouraging her?

Anyway, has anyone else's toddler been through this sort of thing? Is it a phase,and if so how long will it last and what should I do for the best?

Thanks

 

[hattiehippo]

Tom hasn't been that bad about anything but he is starting to imagine things are scary and go on and on about things he wants to be reassured about. He's really into 'We're going on a Bear Hunt' at the mo but has got into his head that the bear is going to come into our bathroom and his bedrooom like it comes to the house at the end of the story. Over and over I have to reassure him that the bear isn't coming into our house or his bedroom or his friend's house.

I wonder if its similar but she's just getting more worked up about it?

Personally I would take the TV thing off the wall - its not pandering to her, its recognising that to her its a real fear (she's too little to know whether something she imagines could acutally be real or not) and doing something to help her deal with it. Then if she is scared you can remind her that it was there but its not anymore so its ok etc.

 

[Cattia]

Tom hasn't been that bad about anything but he is starting to imagine things are scary and go on and on about things he wants to be reassured about. He's really into 'We're going on a Bear Hunt' at the mo but has got into his head that the bear is going to come into our bathroom and his bedrooom like it comes to the house at the end of the story. Over and over I have to reassure him that the bear isn't coming into our house or his bedroom or his friend's house.

I wonder if its similar but she's just getting more worked up about it?

Personally I would take the TV thing off the wall - its not pandering to her, its recognising that to her its a real fear (she's too little to know whether something she imagines could acutally be real or not) and doing something to help her deal with it. Then if she is scared you can remind her that it was there but its not anymore so its ok etc.

Thanks, I think I will take it off before she goes to bed, it has no useful purpose anyway. Maybe they are just starting to develop imaginations and that is the root of it. She is also really funny about a digger that is opposite my parents' house, she keeps talking about it all the time and is obviously worried by it.

 

[hattiehippo]

I think you're right about their imaginations coming on - Tom's really started imaginery play with his cuddly elephant and giraffe which is great.

I just hadn't realised it meant he'd start imagining about things that would scare him too

 

[Jchihuahua]

I think it might be the age they're at. Daisy has woken up in the middle of the night freaking out for no apparent reason a few times lately then she'll just say 'scared, scared' again and again when I ask what's the matter. She also has developed a fear of my mobile phone. I have had the same phone and ring tone since she was born but now if it rings she sort of jumps then comes running to me and is genuinely scared. She has started doing it even when I get texts now too. It is really strange as she has always loved to play with it up until now and she isn't afraid of her dad's phone.

She has also developed a fear of the fox on the Foxy Bingo advert and will run away if she sees him, again genuinely scared. I was getting her ready for bed the other night and she hadn't even seen that advert at all that day but it had obviously been playing on her mind as out of the blue she started saying 'don't like it' and when I asked her what she didn't like she said 'naughty foxy'.

I think they are just more aware now which unfortunately also means experiencing fear.

 

[OmarsMum]

Omar is the same, he also freaked out when we did the parachute thing in the toddlers class although we've been going to the same class for a year now. He refused to go under the tent & he said "don't be scared mummy" . He also freaked out when they played the guitar in another class (they play the guitar every class).

He developed a fear of goats. Every time he plays with the toddler app that has a goat sound he freaks out & runs to me. Sometimes he pretends to be scared & he holds my hand saying "don't be scared, Omar is with you"

He got aware of fear few months back, but now he expresses his feelings more.

 

[chubbin]

I was drawn to this post as we seem to be hitting this phase now. JJ has started saying 'frightened' and looking freaked out at the most random of things recently. I notice he's seems younger than most - perhaps its going to get worse and worse as time goes on (I'm frightened now!)
The other day it was a picture of a mushroom that looked a bit like a spider (the underside gills looked a bit like legs).
Its nice to see it happens to others, and therefore Im assuming it's a phase. When JJ says 'Im frightened' I say 'it's okay to feel frightened, but there's really nothing to be scared of, etc', and I offer comfort. Dont know if that's the best thing to do or not? For those who's LO's are scared of things that previously excited them - I know that the neural pathways for fear and for excitment are very similar. In this case, perhaps it's difficult for LO's to discern the difference between their responses.
Thanks for this thread xx

 

[Cattia]

Thanks ladies, always good to know I'm not alone!
Omar'sMum, sounds like Abigail and Omar are going through exactly the same thing. Abigail is also scared of roundabouts now (since we put her and her friend on one at Christmas and they both screamed but the man wouldn't stop it so they had to stay on until the end). Now she says in a very exaggerated way, 'That's a lovely roundabout' as though she's trying to convince us all that she really likes them!

Chubbin, that is very interesting what you say about the neural pathways. That would explain why she freaks out about things that she used to really like. I too am not sure whether I am dealing with it right. I try to offer reassurance but at the same time not make too big a deal out of it, as I don't want her to learn that being scared of things gets lots of positive attention. She is also scared of spiders and insects. I guess she must have picked that up from me, even though I have tried really hard to hide my fear, but one day a MASSIVE spider was on a towel when I was getting dry in the bathroom and it started crawling across my shoulder. I hate spiders and I FREAKED out so I guess that will be stored in her mind that mummy is scared of spiders!

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Hiya, my LO has started displaying 'scared' and 'frightened'. It started with her playing with her cousin where we would all be sitting in the living room and they would creep up to the door with her cousin shouting 'crocodile, crocodile!!!' and then running away from the door. Her cousin was doing pretend play without any fear but my LO would run for her life and you could see the fear on her face. I have tried reassuring her that theres nothing there but everytime her cousin starts it, LO gets petrified and I have tried removing her from it but now she just remembers the crocodile all the time.

We have just come back from holiday and whilst there took her to a water park which she hated saying 'im scared' and really upset so although I tried to encourage her to have fun we left after a while.

I def think its an age thing and if you can remove the object/thing, then best to do that to make them comfortable but also explain where you can about the rationals of their fear.