Frustating Man

[jenangel]

Ok, looks like this can be a good place to vent so i'm going to take advantage. Hope you don't mind.

I found out I was pregnant at 13 weeks and ever since have pretty much been alone in everything. My boyfriend and I live together and yet it seems like he doesn't want anything to do with this. He has a 3 yr old son with his ex-wife and that child is the love of his life. Throughout this pregnancy I have been very sick (losing 23 lbs) and then found out I have placenta Previa and group b streptococcus infection. He won't go to any of the appointments with me, hasn't been to any of the ultrasounds, and doesn't want anyone to know about the pregnancy.

It is very frustrating. I finally got him to tell his parents about it last week and two of our friends but that is about it. I wish he would hop on board and be supportive but that just doesn't sound like it is going to happen anytime soon.

OK, sorry about the vent....just had to get it off my chest.

 

[leeanne]

Aww, hon, don't know what to say.

 

[leedsforever]

arr hun thats not nice... especially when you just want to tell like EVERYONE!!!! Maybe he is still shocked!!!
My OH always says that "its different for men"!!! Which I can see his point as they have no bonding process!!! Im sure once little baba is born he will be more supportive....
try talking to him about how you feel xxx

 

[polo_princess]

oh dear

Im sorry he isnt being supportive hun, maybe you should try talking to him, he may have something on his mind or be scared of something

 

[jenangel]

Thank you all. I'm trying to find the way to talk to him without attacking him. Last time I tried bringing it up, he just simply said he doesn't know what I want him to do.

I told him that I wanted him to be with me at the appointments and things and he said he can't since he doesn't want to tell work. Ugh!

It can only get better!

 

[leedsforever]

maybe entice him by saying he gets paid time off for ante-natel care!!! lol!!!
Why doesnt he want to tell work?? have you asked him?? surely he only has to tell the manager so they can sort the time off for him!! He can tell his work pals its just dentist or something ?? xx

 

[jenangel]

He is in the military. When he tells his boss everyone will know that he works with. They are in a small shop. I understand partially why he doesn't want to tell them because there are some guys there that will be unkind about the situation. Most of them are single and like to play around. He gets a pretty hard time for being in a relationship so, he knows they will tease/taunt a lot about this.

But, on the otherhand, if he would just tell them, he would be able to go with me and also, they are all going to find out soon enough anyway because they see us out and eventually it is going to be obvious when I am showing more.

His parents are coming to visit the week after next and we are going to get his son to live with us for the summer here next weekend so, maybe talking with them about it will help him out. I'm crossing my fingers.

 

[BeckyBoo]

Awwww hun.

My OH hasn't been interested in this pregnancy, he worships our son. I think he's maybe scared he wont love both the same or feel guilty for sharing his love.

Some men just aren't interested in pregnancy. My OH keeps telling me to hurry up and have it lol. I then have to remind him theres still 14weeks to go.

 

[jenangel]

Becky, I'm sorry. That doesn't sound like fun either.

 

[BeckyBoo]

Becky, I'm sorry. That doesn't sound like fun either.

That's why us ladies got to stick together hun xx

 

[jenangel]

I'm definitely happy I found this forum. Love all of the information and support.

 

[mBLACK]

Sorry, no advice but thought I would give you hugs instead!

 

[meg_lo21]

Please don't hate me but what a tool he is! Especially with you being so sick, he should be worshipping the ground you walk on... Gargh I don't get it about men, I understand that they get freaked out but what about you and your feelings?? He sounds childish.

 

[ani]

When the baby starts kicking strongly, maybe you could get him to feel the kicks by putting his hand on your belly. Feeling the baby can make it so much more real for men. My DH loves doing this now that he can easily feel it.

Hope it gets better!

 

[BurtonBaby]

Maybe he acted that way when his ex was pregnant with their son? I think it takes men a lot more time to bond with the baby than women. Try talking to him hun, hopefully he will come around.