Future children

[beanzz]

Im no longer a single mum but I wanted to ask you girls on your opinions...

When you meet someone new, will you have more babies with them? If so how long would you wait?

I'm thinking after 2 years as I don't want to rush but I also don't want a huge age gap between LO. I'd have another now if OH was FOB

 

[Becky61]

Me again!
Firstly, a big congrats on meeting someone special enough to be part of you and your sons life!
I often ponder over this. I'm yet to meet someone good enough to be given the time of day! But when I eventually do meet someone fantastic, I would love to have more children, and like you, I don't want a massive age gap. I think I like the idea of meeting a man who already has kids, therefore he will appreciate how important my son is, and we will both be starting a family together, but not leaving our other children out iykwim?
My worries are always the same. Will my son like the new partner? Will my son feel pushed out by another baby? Will my new partner treat my son differently to his new (biological) child?
If you and your oh are ready to start a family, there's no time scale, just when it feels right for you both. Just out of interest, how long have you been together? Does he have children?
x

 

[beanzz]

We've only been together 4 months now and he has no children. It's is why we shouldn't really plan one now or any time soon. If I didn't already have LO when we met I think I'd have said at least 4 or 5 years cos I'm only 20 and I'd always wanted a few years of travelling before kids. It's just on my mind all the time now as I've been broody ever since giving birth to Oaks I'd hate to have to wait something like 4 years before having another child now that I do already have him :/

 

[Becky61]

We've only been together 4 months now and he has no children. It's is why we shouldn't really plan one now or any time soon. If I didn't already have LO when we met I think I'd have said at least 4 or 5 years cos I'm only 20 and I'd always wanted a few years of travelling before kids. It's just on my mind all the time now as I've been broody ever since giving birth to Oaks I'd hate to have to wait something like 4 years before having another child now that I do already have him :/

I know what you mean, I don't want a big age gap between children, but I guess we just gotta let that go, and start a family when it feels right.
x

 

[Mummy1995]

Just whenever it felt right for us both I would like to have one maybe two more! Opposite to you though, I'd like a bigger gap. Ideally 5+ years between Isabella and the next X

 

[Boomerslady]

I'm struggling with this right now. I've been with my OH for 5 months and I know he desperately wants kids. He's nearly 30 and he doesn't want to wait much longer and I'm sooo broody BUT I can't risk having 2 kids with 2 dads IF he decides to leave me. I've told him ideally I'd like us to be together a year and ok financially also ideally engaged. So he's currently working his bum off saving like mad so that he can buy a ring and have some money behind him!!!

 

[babycrazy1706]

^ aww he sounds like a keeper

I worry about this all the time. I'm 28. Newly single and I know I want more kids. Part of me thinks it would be easier if ex/fob gave me some sperm in a few years time so I could impregnate myself Then I'd just have to find a man who wants a woman with 2 kids but at least my kids would have the same dad and then if I didn't ever find a man at least I'd have my 2 kids. Lol. Xx

 

[beanzz]

I'm struggling with this right now. I've been with my OH for 5 months and I know he desperately wants kids. He's nearly 30 and he doesn't want to wait much longer and I'm sooo broody BUT I can't risk having 2 kids with 2 dads IF he decides to leave me. I've told him ideally I'd like us to be together a year and ok financially also ideally engaged. So he's currently working his bum off saving like mad so that he can buy a ring and have some money behind him!!!

I'm the same! I don't want to have a child with OH now incase a year or so down the line we decide we're not as right for each other as we originally thought or some other reason. I'm already gutted about the fact my children will never have the same dad so I don't fancy being a single mum to 2 kids with different dads. Then if I meet someone else and he wants kids I'll have children with all different names and dads lmfao!

That's so cute that he's working hard to get your ring so he can have a child with you I agree with babycrazy, he sounds like a keeper! I hope it all works out for you both the time will fly by!

OH keeps randomly bringing up baby names, it doesn't help my broodiness at all.

 

[beanzz]

^ aww he sounds like a keeper

I worry about this all the time. I'm 28. Newly single and I know I want more kids. Part of me thinks it would be easier if ex/fob gave me some sperm in a few years time so I could impregnate myself Then I'd just have to find a man who wants a woman with 2 kids but at least my kids would have the same dad and then if I didn't ever find a man at least I'd have my 2 kids. Lol. Xx

you have a point there, at least they'll both have the same dad which means the same surname! unless they'd both have your surname, which is even better. I hate having a different surname to Oakley, that bothers me more than the fact I couldn't make it work with his dad.

It probably would be easier than all this figuring out when is the right time to act on broodiness malarkey but I'm sure you won't have to do that

 

[moomin_troll]

I have two boys and have been with oh 3 months now. No way in hell would I concider a baby yet lol

But it's difficult when u have kids and he doesn't.
I thought I wouldn't want anymore children, now I'm not sure. But my problem is, I'm 25 and I don't want anymore kids after I turn 28 at the latest, personal preference.
He's 22 and said he'd wana think about kids in say, 3 yrs so I said well I don't want kids past 28 and he was like well guess I'm not having my own then.
I felt really bad. He'd make a great dad, but I'm also set in my ways.

There's never a right time to have children. But we've all seen the bad side and have ended up single mums which isn't easy.

Don't over think this, enjoy ur new and fresh relationship and see what happens. U will know when the times right for u both

 

[Natsku]

This is something I've discussed with my OH. We've been together a year now and I was really broody a while ago and didn't want a big age gap and we were going to try this summer but had a bad pap result so had to put it on hold and now I'm not broody anymore anyway so we're leaving it for a while, wait until we get a house and a car/van that'll have enough seats for us all.

 

[moomin_troll]

I'd love to, however no-one seems to want a girl with two kids already lol so i'm struggling for someone to even take me seriously never mind have kids with me xxx

I've got two kids and I've met someone who's crazy about me and my boys. So don't lose all hope just yet.
There are still afew decent men out there lol

 

[Dream.dream]

I'd love to, however no-one seems to want a girl with two kids already lol so i'm struggling for someone to even take me seriously never mind have kids with me xxx

My mom had me an my sister I was 4 when she met my the man whose my dad, 16 years of marriage and 2 kids later they are still very happy and in love ,

The right person will love your kids and you


As for future children I think I'm done now . I wouldn't be going into any relationship looking for another child even if the age gap is important to you having a Healthy stable home life might be more important .

 

[Natsku]

My brother married a woman who had 3 kids already (3 under 5!!) - some men really don't mind that you have kids already.

 

[babycrazy1706]

brave guy! Lol

 

[Dezireey]

I feel a bit sad about this subject. I am 40 this year and now that I have experienced being a Mother, I wish I had done it years ago when my womb and bits were healthier and younger (didn't want kids at all up till age 30, then got endometriosis after then and told I couldn't have kids, so LO is a little miracle anyway).

I think if I met a great (and I mean great LOL) man in the next year or two I wouldn't rule out another baby, but I have to be realistic because of my age now. If I could give any advice to any woman in her twenties / early thirties that does want children and more than one... but wants to wait till her late thirties etc....get on with finding that great guy, don't wait too late as time ticks by way too fast and life plans just never work out exactly how you want them!!