- Joined
- Jun 9, 2012
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So today I have found out my suprise bfp pregnancy is not viable! Had x 2 scans within 1 week and no change just an gestational sac and yolk sac. I make myself 6 weeks 4-5 days and can't be any less. So anyway I was scheduled in for another scan on Friday then MVA procedure after but now they want me to wait one more week and go from there. I know it's pointless as I know within my heart this pregnancy will not develop. I have lost 3 pregnancies now 1 blighted ovum diagnosed at 10 weeks before our first ds, that was devastating and took time to heal emotionally. Then after struggling with with infertilty for few years we finally fell pregant after iui which resulted in a twin pregancy but we lost one measuring 9 weeks and we have a beautiful 9 month old ds he is a dream as is our other son and so grateful to have them both. Then out of the blue we get a very welcomed suprise bfp and now our hopes of a 3rd and final baby is shattered. I don't know how I feel atm apart of me feel relieved as I'm currently unwell and on thyroid medication which isn't controlled properly and I was so worried about the baby that it consumed my every thought and took my mind away from my children that are here now in this world and obviously feel sad that the baby that will never be. I don't feel empty as I have my babies already and am trying to look at positives about the situation. Am I wrong to feel this way?? I don't feel envious about other women and pregnancies and don't feel particularly broody but I still feel a deep sense of loss. It was very much wanted! Anyway my plan is to get my meds sorted and go on the pill for several months before even contemplating one final attempt at a 3rd baby. My heart goes out to all of you ladies who are going through similar to myself. I have been lurking for several days knowing I would end up putting my story on here. Feeling bit better my pregnancy symptoms are fading and I can at least bare to kiss my husband again! Anyway much extra sticky baby dust to ladies xx