Katie, thanks for posting for me. I hope I didn't text you in the wee morning hours. I don't even remember it. I'm sorry.
I don't understand what happened, I don't understand why this happened or even how. I don't understand how they didn't see it on the ultrasound, not even the one they did at the er. I saw the pics during the surgery. It was huge, took up most of my tube. The dr said it was very large. My tube was stretched so tightly it was already dying off. It wasn't completly burst open but he said it was ruptured, it was bleeding if different spots. All I can think of is my baby was in there and I just willfully murdered my baby. I know it couldn't live there but still. I wanted to rescue my baby and I couldn't do anything at all. If they had done my betas like I had been demanding I would have had the shot 4 days sooner. It would have had 6 days to work instead of only 2. I guess treating an ectopic at 6w6d is too late. I was reassured by my lower numbers that it had to have already stopped growing but I was wrong. The dr made 4 holes, he made one more than planned because scar tissue was in the way. He also did a d&c, got shaved all weird, I have almost no bleeding still, haven't worn a pad since the hospital. My beta was 330 something at the er, it was 29 today. I haven't been taking my pain meds, they make me all itchy. I still have off and on fevers that I'm a bit worried about. If it goes over 100 again I'm going back in. I have an appt on Monday and another beta a week from today. I know the nurse who kept lowing and putting me off got fired. My dr saw me at the hosp for labs and pulled me aside to tell me. He seemed relieved. But it doesn't make it better. I lost an important body part because she was screening what she told my dr. I understood I would lose the baby but this was just senseless. My birthday is this weekend, at 41 I realize my chances are quickly diminishing anyway, now cut that in half. Not sure there is much sense in trying but I'll never prevent.
Thanks for listening and all of the prayers and well wishes.
Braij, good luck on your move. On the kellymom site there was a link to another site from a Canadian doctor and it had all kinds of info about thrush and breastfeeding. I had it with my last baby and it was the most painful breastfeeding experience I've ever had. I begged my dr to follow the protocol
on his site and it really did work. It just wasn't worth the months of suffering until then. Stay on top of it, let me know if you need me to look it up for you. Get well soon.
Mal, hope your legs get better but more importantly you should convince your sweet Lilybug to flip over.
. I think your gd will work out just stay away from the sugary stuff.
Great doubling rn.
Babyhopes, you are so adorable.
Amanda, your tummy was just all sucked in from resting. I bet after you got up your muscles relaxed and your bump came back. It's kinda amazing how it does that though.
Megg, thanks for checking on me. You are right, it was senseless and absolutely unbelievable. I can't believe I had to beg to be checked and monitored for ectopic. I was neglected despite my best efforts. I screamed it from the rooftops and was ignores. One lost a job but it doesn't compare or make it better. I'll just be quiet before I get all worked up again.
Nikki, hope you're taking your maca and soy.
Sorry if I missed anyone.