Gender disapointment...

[rwhite]

So this is a question for all the mummies with boys already, are they really slower to learn? All four of my nieces were walking, talking and using the potty between 18-24months but my two friends who have boys that are two have not even bothered trying to train them and their husbands said "its not my job to toilet train" (that makes me madder than anything personally) but they also do not talk well and one of them cannot even crawl, the other boys I see are walking before two but the not speaking or using the potty is an issue as are the baby clothes I was convinced I was having a girl and did see a lot of signs and I admit whenever I see a baby girl I burst into tears and wonder if this will spill out onto my LO

I do not know for certain but this stupid gender urine test I took said BOY
I want to be happy and if this was my second baby I would be over the moon because I have always wanted a girl and a boy but then again being pregnant is something to consider seriously before trying again

My friend is really miserable because she knew her first was going to be a boy and it was and she was convinced her second would be a girl and it wasn't and now she is living with two boys and is finding it so difficult >_<

I can't speak for everybody of course, but I think kids all vary. Some are lazy, some are super in to everything and just really advanced. Lachlan took a while to start crawling but when he did (at 10 months) he was off and great at it! Same with his walking, he started walking at 15 months but was brilliant at it when he started. But then I have a couple of friends I have met on here and their boys have learnt things super early. One friend's son was walking at 7 months And my other friend's son is just crazy advanced, like six months ahead of his age. He's such a smart wee thing.

Lachlan is a great talker for his age, if I do say so myself. It's amazing at this age how much they understand and while I used to worry about him when he was younger I hardly do any more. As for potty training...most kids aren't potty trained until two and a half at the earliest. Any earlier than that is, well, early. I think I was potty trained at three, and I'm a girl so there we go

Don't be worried about the Intelligender test - they are a load of shite, it's been proven time and time again. They're just for fun and who knows, the result can probably be altered by what you've had for lunch I wouldn't put any stead in it at all!

And I promise you if you are having a boy a) being upset about him won't carry over to him at all...unless of course you starve yourself and b) you will love him. You will have your shitty days (I still have mine) and you will probably still want a daughter, but when he arrives it just won't matter, he will be your little spark. When I have bad GD days it's not even to do with my son because he is perfection in my eyes, it's just me dealing with my inner turmoil about not having a daughter.

 

[Arisa]

So this is a question for all the mummies with boys already, are they really slower to learn? All four of my nieces were walking, talking and using the potty between 18-24months but my two friends who have boys that are two have not even bothered trying to train them and their husbands said "its not my job to toilet train" (that makes me madder than anything personally) but they also do not talk well and one of them cannot even crawl, the other boys I see are walking before two but the not speaking or using the potty is an issue as are the baby clothes I was convinced I was having a girl and did see a lot of signs and I admit whenever I see a baby girl I burst into tears and wonder if this will spill out onto my LO

I do not know for certain but this stupid gender urine test I took said BOY
I want to be happy and if this was my second baby I would be over the moon because I have always wanted a girl and a boy but then again being pregnant is something to consider seriously before trying again

My friend is really miserable because she knew her first was going to be a boy and it was and she was convinced her second would be a girl and it wasn't and now she is living with two boys and is finding it so difficult >_<

I can't speak for everybody of course, but I think kids all vary. Some are lazy, some are super in to everything and just really advanced. Lachlan took a while to start crawling but when he did (at 10 months) he was off and great at it! Same with his walking, he started walking at 15 months but was brilliant at it when he started. But then I have a couple of friends I have met on here and their boys have learnt things super early. One friend's son was walking at 7 months And my other friend's son is just crazy advanced, like six months ahead of his age. He's such a smart wee thing.

Lachlan is a great talker for his age, if I do say so myself. It's amazing at this age how much they understand and while I used to worry about him when he was younger I hardly do any more. As for potty training...most kids aren't potty trained until two and a half at the earliest. Any earlier than that is, well, early. I think I was potty trained at three, and I'm a girl so there we go

Don't be worried about the Intelligender test - they are a load of shite, it's been proven time and time again. They're just for fun and who knows, the result can probably be altered by what you've had for lunch I wouldn't put any stead in it at all!

And I promise you if you are having a boy a) being upset about him won't carry over to him at all...unless of course you starve yourself and b) you will love him. You will have your shitty days (I still have mine) and you will probably still want a daughter, but when he arrives it just won't matter, he will be your little spark. When I have bad GD days it's not even to do with my son because he is perfection in my eyes, it's just me dealing with my inner turmoil about not having a daughter.

Hey again, thanks so so so so much for your reply. wow walking at 15 months? thats advanced to me heck I was not even attempting to walk until 18 months but I was talking very early and using the toilet, mind you I was a tidy type of girl and my sisters took longer to learn to use the potty. My cousins girl was three before she could pee on her own so it does vary I guess. Your little boy sounds perfect with the talking and walking thing and I read that boys tend to crawl and walk faster is this true?
Hey as long as they both, boy or girl finally learn to sleep at night that would be a blessing


LOL that made me laugh it is a load of shite really considering the chinese gender test is supposedly 75% accurate and it says girl for me, it also was right with mum who had three girls and it was correct for my SIL who based on her age and month of conception had a boy this time round and it was also right for my cousin, hmmm a little eerie lol

The main GD will come from the adorable dress I purchased last year when I really felt after praying about it that I would have a girl one day, i think if not this time then possibly next time? Maybe its the same for you, you could end up with a girl next time?????

 

[BradysMum]

I have 2 boys that have developed at completely different speeds. Brady was an early walker, talker and was fully potty trained by 28 months. Jacob is 21 months now, and he walks, but doesn't talk and isn't anywhere near potty training, I won't be thinking about even mentioning the word potty to him for at least another 6 months. He says a few words but thats it. At the same age Brady was talking loads. All kids are different.

 

[Andypanda6570]

So this is a question for all the mummies with boys already, are they really slower to learn? All four of my nieces were walking, talking and using the potty between 18-24months but my two friends who have boys that are two have not even bothered trying to train them and their husbands said "its not my job to toilet train" (that makes me madder than anything personally) but they also do not talk well and one of them cannot even crawl, the other boys I see are walking before two but the not speaking or using the potty is an issue as are the baby clothes I was convinced I was having a girl and did see a lot of signs and I admit whenever I see a baby girl I burst into tears and wonder if this will spill out onto my LO

I do not know for certain but this stupid gender urine test I took said BOY
I want to be happy and if this was my second baby I would be over the moon because I have always wanted a girl and a boy but then again being pregnant is something to consider seriously before trying again

My friend is really miserable because she knew her first was going to be a boy and it was and she was convinced her second would be a girl and it wasn't and now she is living with two boys and is finding it so difficult >_<

No!! My son did everything first. He walked at 9mths. He potty trained in literally a day when he was just over 2 years old. He talked early. He is super smart. He is well behaved...and WAY easier than my girls. No drama!!! Best of all...he is a mamma's boy!! Oh...he also gets straight A's in school.

Nooo that is SO not true. I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and my youngest walked at 11 months and waved his hand bye bye at 6 months. I think those are myths for sure. I will tell you the only difference I see with boys (mine anyway) they were a bit easier to raise. All my friends have girls and are going crazy with them especially when they hit 13, that is the age it starts according to them. But I know one thing when the girls become in their twenties they become your best friend and your including in a lot of things more than the boys mom meaning the wedding and pregnancy (Not saying everyone just a lot of what I have seen and was not true for me cause I love my MIL alot) My boys love me I know but they go on their own, my middle one has a girlfriend for 2 years and I can see already i come second and they are not even married yet but usually not all the time it is the girls that stay with the mom through their marriage and other stuff. I am a wonderful daughter in law so for me I am hoping I get at least one nice one, cause I am going to have 3 of them

I believe strongly in Karma so i figure I am a nice person and I love my MIL so maybe I will get a DIL that loves me back too..

 

[xloulabellex]

So this is a question for all the mummies with boys already, are they really slower to learn? All four of my nieces were walking, talking and using the potty between 18-24months but my two friends who have boys that are two have not even bothered trying to train them and their husbands said "its not my job to toilet train" (that makes me madder than anything personally) but they also do not talk well and one of them cannot even crawl, the other boys I see are walking before two but the not speaking or using the potty is an issue as are the baby clothes I was convinced I was having a girl and did see a lot of signs and I admit whenever I see a baby girl I burst into tears and wonder if this will spill out onto my LO

I do not know for certain but this stupid gender urine test I took said BOY
I want to be happy and if this was my second baby I would be over the moon because I have always wanted a girl and a boy but then again being pregnant is something to consider seriously before trying again

My friend is really miserable because she knew her first was going to be a boy and it was and she was convinced her second would be a girl and it wasn't and now she is living with two boys and is finding it so difficult >_<

No!! My son did everything first. He walked at 9mths. He potty trained in literally a day when he was just over 2 years old. He talked early. He is super smart. He is well behaved...and WAY easier than my girls. No drama!!! Best of all...he is a mamma's boy!! Oh...he also gets straight A's in school.

Nooo that is SO not true. I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and my youngest walked at 11 months and waved his hand bye bye at 6 months. I think those are myths for sure. I will tell you the only difference I see with boys (mine anyway) they were a bit easier to raise. All my friends have girls and are going crazy with them especially when they hit 13, that is the age it starts according to them. But I know one thing when the girls become in there twenties they become your best friend and your including in a lot of things more than the boys mom meaning the wedding and pregnancy (Not saying everyone just a lot of what I have seen and was not true for me cause I love my MIL alot) My boys love me I know but they go on their own, my middle one has a girlfriend for 2 years and I can see already i come second and they are not even married yet but usually not all the time it is the girls that stay with the mom through their marriage and other stuff. I am a wonderful daughter in law so for me I am hoping I get at least one nice one, cause I am going to have 3 of them

I believe strongly in Karma so i figure I am a nice person and I love my MIL so maybe I will get a DIL that loves me back too..

See, I actually thought that boys were meant to be brighter anyway..

Either way, I think it's completely different per child, depending on their parents, teaching, and thirst to learn I guess

AndyPanda.. I bet you'll have a DIL that loves you TONS! I definately love my MIL so much, and she knows it. Like a second mum xx

 

[kiki04]

Well I didnt read this whole thread but here is my say on the OP...

I always always always wanted girls when I was growing up. I got pg with my first hoping for a girl. When HE was born... (a surprise) I was instantly in love. He was mine He was perfect and he was here He was just the funniest and funnest thing ever! He was fat, and rough, and seriously hilarious... how could you not love him. Then I got pg with #2. Again it was to be a surprise. Again it was a boy. And the minute he was born I was in love I had 2 boys, less then 2 years apart... they were going to be buddies!! And now they are Then 3 years later, pg again... this time I was finding out! No more surprises... and it was my girl I am sooo in love with my boys and now I get my girl. If I ever had to redo it... I wouldn't change a thing! I have to boys close together in age to grow up little buddies and be the bestest big brothers to their little sister. It is absolutely perfect!~ I then got pg with #4 and sadly, like Andrea (Andypanda) lost her at 17 weeks. My daughter so wanted to be a big sister and it would have been amazing to have 2 boys then 2 girls.. but as it stands right now, my boys are soooo protective over their little sister. She is a princess in their eyes. They will sit outside her door if she is in timeout and ask me if she can come out yet. If Riley (ds#2) is being pushed around at school.. big brother Tyler to the rescue!! We will be trying again, hopefully be pg SOON... but I dont care about the gender... because you will soon find out, the second you hear him cry, you wont even have to see him and you will be so in love with him it wont even matter. Then when you hold him, your whole body will feel nothing but wonderment on how you made such a beautiful little boy. He will be so tiny and warm and dependant on you and you will want to give him the world And you will

As far as boys being slower... oh hell no!My first... a boy... could pick up a book at 3 years old and read simple words.. at mat, rat, mom, dad and words like that. By the time he was 4 he could read a whole beginner book himself and went into kindergarten at 5 yrs old being ahead of most grade one children. He was walking at 10 months and talking FULL SENTENCES "May I have juice please?" at 18 months.

My daughter on the other hand... is 4.5 and is having a hard time learning to write her name for petes sake Every child is different but I promise you, the instant he is born... none of this will matter... cuz he will be your and he will be here

 

[mnjhowell]

Sounds like maybe your really not ready for motherhood and still living a pipe dream. It's a baby that did not choose to be born or be a boy. I agree with your husband.

 

[rwhite]

Sounds like maybe your really not ready for motherhood and still living a pipe dream. It's a baby that did not choose to be born or be a boy. I agree with your husband.

Not the most helpful piece of advice in the world

 

[staralfur]

Sounds like maybe your really not ready for motherhood and still living a pipe dream. It's a baby that did not choose to be born or be a boy. I agree with your husband.

What a horrible and completely unnecessary thing to say.

 

[mnjhowell]

It wasn't horrible or unnecessary. She asked and I told her what I thought, food for thought and sugar coating things gets no one anywhere. If she can stop and think about how this baby might feel that it is not wanted as much as a girl maybe she will realize this is being totally selfish and unnecessary.

 

[pixeldust]

It wasn't horrible or unnecessary. She asked and I told her what I thought, food for thought and sugar coating things gets no one anywhere. If she can stop and think about how this baby might feel that it is not wanted as much as a girl maybe she will realize this is being totally selfish and unnecessary.

She asked "Don't judge or hate me on this post" and "Anyone else relate"?

You obviously don't relate, and you didn't offer anything except judgement. Pat yourself on the back all you like, that WAS horrible and unnecessary.

 

[JackiePed]

Not to mention, had you read through this entire thread, not ONLY would you know how genuine her struggle is to 'get over' this, but you'd also see that 2 pages back she has come around to a very different way of thinking... so your comment was totally pointless too.

 

[xloulabellex]

It wasn't horrible or unnecessary. She asked and I told her what I thought, food for thought and sugar coating things gets no one anywhere. If she can stop and think about how this baby might feel that it is not wanted as much as a girl maybe she will realize this is being totally selfish and unnecessary.

I can honestly say I DON'T think I am being selfish or unnecessary.. I am human.

Due to sadness in my family with a close relative MCing.. I can say I no longer care about gender...

But considering I asked if anyone could relate in my origional post.. A simple "No I don't" would have been better, rather than accusing me of not deserving my child because I am selfish and living in a pipe dream.

 

[Andypanda6570]

It wasn't horrible or unnecessary. She asked and I told her what I thought, food for thought and sugar coating things gets no one anywhere. If she can stop and think about how this baby might feel that it is not wanted as much as a girl maybe she will realize this is being totally selfish and unnecessary.

It was unnecessary I have 3 boys and before I lost my Ava do you think I wanted another boy>>> Do you think I was not wishing for a girl.. After I lost her at 20 weeks that is when I realized that even if she was a boy I would not have cared, that baby would have been so wanted and so loved like my other boys. After i had my first son at age 21 ( I am 41) do you think I was not praying for my next to be a girl, then I had another boy at 23 and again was I not wishing for my little girl?? It is a normal feeling and a normal emotion and has NOTHING to do with being selfish, once she sees her baby, gender will not even come into her mind, just loving and protecting that child will be her instinct. So try not to be to hard on people, cause one day you might need a kind word said to you...

 

[mnjhowell]

I related with your husband. I have a group of friends that I met in 2007 while we are going through fertility treatments that would die to just be pregnant. So yes I do find it selfish but this is an open forum and not everyone is going to agree with what people have to say.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I related with your husband. I have a group of friends that I met in 2007 while we are going through fertility treatments that would die to just be pregnant. So yes I do find it selfish but this is an open forum and not everyone is going to agree with what people have to say.

It is selfish to people who can't have a baby , lost a baby, but when it is your first baby it is a natural expectation, I know I had those too . I do understand what you are saying, but you need to understand if a person never has experienced a loss or the beautiful feeling of being able to carry a baby of course they are going to say oh I want a boy or I want a girl. I have 3 boys and with my first I wanted a boy cause i just wanted my oldest to be a boy, who the hell would have known that I would never have a girl and go on to have 2 more boys Then get pregnant at age 40 by total accident and finally get my girl and loose her. Life is just that way, i do understand what you mean, but I also remember being 21 and wanting that doctor to say it's a boy, i just didn't want a girl. I am 41 now so I understand more, as you get older you understand , she is not saying she would love the baby any less she just wanted a specific gender, we all did at some point.
I wish you all the best ...

 

[xloulabellex]

I related with your husband. I have a group of friends that I met in 2007 while we are going through fertility treatments that would die to just be pregnant. So yes I do find it selfish but this is an open forum and not everyone is going to agree with what people have to say.

Each to their own, and i'm sorry you went through trouble falling pregnant, and i'm happy for you that you are now, congratulations.

That is your opinion, I personally do not think I am selfish, I KNOW that this is a genuine issue with many woman across the world, and not every single woman, in the thousands, are selfish.
I do not think I deserve my baby less than anyone else on this website. I have recovered a lot of personal issues/health issues to make sure this baby is healthy. I deserve this baby so much and I don't doubt that for one second.. gender thoughts or not.

I am so excited to meet my little man now, and wouldn't change him for the world. He has a personality already just from being in my tummy, with every kick he does.

You are right, not everybody will agree on this forum..and right now, I disagree with you and I am offended. But from the sounds of it.. so are you. So.. there we go. Agree to disagree.

Take care and good luck, I wish you 9 months of a happy & healthy pregnancy.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Personally i will never understand Gender disappointment, but only because i went through so much pain and hurt trying to have a child that when i did i actually didnt care what my baby was.
BUT... i was told at 16 weeks i was having a girl. and i went mad with girl stuff, picked her name everything. Then everyone polluted my mind that baby looked like a boy, and they could be wrong... i went into my 20 week scan holding my breath because if she told me my girl was now a boy i was gunna have a breakdown. Not because i didnt want a boy but i was so used to a girl that it would be weird that she was a he... luckily my girl was still very much a lady at all scans. so i can see when you convince yourself with a sex how daunting it can be if baby turns out to be the other.

I can see youv come to terms with having a boy, and think of it this way, boys are all mummy. They want there mum all girls want there daddys lol

Just think doesnt mater weather girl or boy your gunna have a little person that will depend on you, love you and need you always. even when there grown up people always need there parents

 

[xloulabellex]

Personally i will never understand Gender disappointment, but only because i went through so much pain and hurt trying to have a child that when i did i actually didnt care what my baby was.
BUT... i was told at 16 weeks i was having a girl. and i went mad with girl stuff, picked her name everything. Then everyone polluted my mind that baby looked like a boy, and they could be wrong... i went into my 20 week scan holding my breath because if she told me my girl was now a boy i was gunna have a breakdown. Not because i didnt want a boy but i was so used to a girl that it would be weird that she was a he... luckily my girl was still very much a lady at all scans. so i can see when you convince yourself with a sex how daunting it can be if baby turns out to be the other.

I can see youv come to terms with having a boy, and think of it this way, boys are all mummy. They want there mum all girls want there daddys lol

Just think doesnt mater weather girl or boy your gunna have a little person that will depend on you, love you and need you always. even when there grown up people always need there parents

Congratulations on your DD not long now!!

Yeah, well.. they depend on you so much NOW, it can only grow stronger hey.

I can't wait to meet him and have a little mummies boy.. plus, I won't have to fight for female affection with my Fiance hey, i'll still be the only girl in his life hehe!

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

exactly... think how i feel... i asked for a new pet because my little girl will be a daddys girl and il be left out haha