Gender Scan Today - Boy :(

[No1showgirl]

Hi everyone - Had a gender scan today and have found out its a boy. Gutted to say the least as really wanted a girl. I never visualised a boy in my life, its always been a girl...gonna have to just get through this pregnancy now! Its gonna be hard as i have ZERO motivation or excitement now.

I know its drastic but dh and i have already discussed that we are not leaving it to chance next time. We are gonna go high tech (PGD&IVF) pretty quickly after the boy is born to get a girl. In my mind this is the only way to soften the situation.

Has anyone here considered gender selection for their next baby?

 

[LoveMyBaby786]

If i'm honest at my 20 week scan when they told me it might be a boy but hard to tell as legs were closed i was disappointed as well, i think mostly due to the fact all my family thought i would have a girl first due to all the 'needle and thread' and whatever other old wives tales were out there so in my head i had a mental image of me with a baby girl.. Then i thought you know what, it's not the baby's fault it's a boy and i had another scan 2 weeks later as they couldn't check everything properly the first time round and I was hoping they would say BOY! I actually shocked myself lol and when they did say yes defo a boy i was happy! I know it will take a while to get used to and i don't blame you in any way as yes i have also thought about ways on how to make my next baby a girl (if thats possible I don't really know) but with time hopefully you will get used to the idea of having a boy x

 

[fl00b]

aww if it's any consolation i was DESPERATE for a girl. i was so convinced, i had a name picked out and even started a scrapbook with pictures of dresses in what i was going to get. when i got told i was having a boy, my heart sunk and i just kept thinking that they were wrong - i couldn't see myself with a little boy playing football, i had my heart set on my little princess.
now 35 weeks on, i'm so excited for him to arrive - my mind's changed completely on having a boy now i've got used to it!
it does take a while to get used to the idea but it's great when you do, i'm more excited than ever!

 

[No1showgirl]

Thanks for the replies girlies. Ive come to the conclusion that its not the boy i dont want but im just gutted i havent got my girl yet. This feels like just another stepping stone to get her.

She will come - someday!

I know this is probably pretty extreme feeling for someone on their first child, and i cannot understand how this hit my like 100mph train yesterday, really knocked the wind out of me! I will warm to the idea...not yet though unfortunatly.

 

[gk1701]

Everyone says when the baby arrives, you really don't care one way or the other. You'll have your girl eventually.

 

[pinkribbon]

 

[katrus78]

Yes, I am definitely going to consider pgd with gender selection next time. I really hope there isn't going to be next time, but if I will get twin boys (and I already have one boy), I will be that desparate. I do have 5 frozen embryos left over from IVF, so I will just pay for pgd on them.

 

[rwhite]

This is how I felt with my son (he's my first and only so far) and I can honestly tell you that when he's here, while the GD doesn't go away, you won't want to trade your little man for all the girls in the universe you'll be so besotted

We never considered gender selection because a) it's so expensive and b) I don't know how I feel about it ethically. But it's great that it's an option, people can have such harsh opinions about it (but then they are probably the same closed minded people that have a lot to say about GD, too)

 

[No1showgirl]

Yes, I am definitely going to consider pgd with gender selection next time. I really hope there isn't going to be next time, but if I will get twin boys (and I already have one boy), I will be that desparate. I do have 5 frozen embryos left over from IVF, so I will just pay for pgd on them.

Thats brilliant you have the frozen embryos, from what i can make out the difficult part of IVF is harvesting the eggies. If youve already got them you just need to get the correct one/several popped in and cross ur fingers!! Im so glad im not the only one on here in the same situation.

Having another "pot luck" pregnancy isnt an option for me next time. I only want 2 children (maybe 3 - twin girls would be a dream ) as i dont see how i could fit more into my life.

I spoke to my mum last night (havent wanted to talk to her since i found out the gender) and we discussed PGD and she said 100% to go for it as our family have the need for a very longed for girl! Ill be 35 once i give birth to baby boy and she agrees to go down the PGD path fairly quickly, she advised it would be better to get the whole baby thing done and dusted and then go back to concentrating on my career. Im lucky i have such a supporting DH and mother!!

Im feeling a little more in control about everything today, im the kind of person who likes to have a plan and has to work to target - I can see light at the end of the road now...AGAIN just to stress, for me its not about having a son but just gutted i dont have my girl!

 

[No1showgirl]

This is how I felt with my son (he's my first and only so far) and I can honestly tell you that when he's here, while the GD doesn't go away, you won't want to trade your little man for all the girls in the universe you'll be so besotted

We never considered gender selection because a) it's so expensive and b) I don't know how I feel about it ethically. But it's great that it's an option, people can have such harsh opinions about it (but then they are probably the same closed minded people that have a lot to say about GD, too)

Your son is super cute! I understand what you say about the GD not going away, but still being besotted!

Do you think you wil try for another baby at some point?

 

[rwhite]

Aww thank you!

I definitely want to. My partner would be happy to not have any more children, and on top of that doesn't really want a daughter so he doesn't exactly understand where I'm coming from - he got what he wanted. But yes I think once we are in a better financial position we will start trying.

I have been trying to prepare myself by telling myself that I will have a boy next time to try and make myself not care so much but I know things will be pretty similar GD wise if I do get pregnant with another boy - probably less so though knowing how much I adore my little boy.

Good luck hun You will do great, and we are always here to listen if you need to vent

 

[Mummy2B21]

hope youf feeling more ppsitive hun x

 

[ravenmel]

If pgd was allowed in the UK and I didn't get my girls I would have defo considered it.I never knew what it was until I what that documentary '8 boys and wanting a girl' When you want it that bad leaving it to chance and old wives tales isn't worth it. I don't see the harm in gender selection, especially if you want to balance out your family.

I'm sure this boy will bring you lots of joy and but hope you get your girl one day xoxo

 

[Sunnie1984]

We're still team yellow at 32 weeks.

I've had a horrendous pregnancy, and I know that I can only go through pregnancy one more time. But my DH and I really want three kids.

So we've decided that we'll go for PGD and IVF next time, to hopefully get twins of the opposite sex of the baby we have this time. I'm really desperate to have both boys and girls, and given the number of boys on both sides of our family, I'm not willing to leave it to chance.

I know how you feel, and don't worry, once your little boy is born, you'll love him so much anyway, and you'll get your girl next time with PGD.

x

 

[JasperJoe]

never give up hope, of you really want a girl, like you say one day you will have xx

boys are so lovely by the way, they are so loving x