General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

Jlm- Big hug. I know you did all you can, it's frustrating to go through this month after month, and still no success. Theres only so much we can do, we can have one awesome egg and sperm and lining and still it doesn't beat the odds. It's like playing lottery with your soul. Just stay the strong woman you are and try, try, try again! I had to literally chase an egg down that last cycle... you can do it! <3 <3
 
Hmm well let's think for a second. Maybe what you did was exactly what you needed, but the egg this cycle was a dud. I say continue on with the same method and see if it works, and just didn't work the first time. My friend had a growth in her uterus removed as the doctors thought it was preventing her pregnancy. I told her now that that factor is out of the way, it's like she's hit the reset button on ttc because the factors have changed...so you're kind of starting over with new factors. Does that make any sense?

I tend to babble...

Ducky painting anyone?
 

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J: I feel the same way! We BD every other day, I eat and stay so healthy (I'm actually a bit obsessive), and he does too! We're both so active, with healthy eating habits and non smoking. I really though I'd have a couple cycles and be pregnant. How has it not happened yet? I agree with gigs and campn, you've got it figured out now, try again! Maybe this one was a dud.

Gigs; did you paint that?! Holy shit. I wish you lived closer!

I'm feeling so good about this next cycle. I think I'll order preseed with the OPKs. I am ok with trying for a few more cycles before getting worried. In fact, the idea of being pregnant in the next few months is so exciting. It's now becoming more and more likely that I will get pregnant, statistically speaking, and that's comforting.
 
Awww thanks Rex! It's my new get rich quick scheme :haha: i painted it on a friend yesterday. I'm hoping to get requests to do more....posted them all over facebook haha
 
Gigs that is Super cute!
Maybe you can suck in preggo biz by offering belly art that is a "gender reveal"?
Like teddy bears with pink or blue ribbons on, or rocking horse with colored saddle..dunno just brainstorming.

I will have to see if the donor is up for it...maybe offer him gas money ...not that he drives far at all, but maybe it will keep him going a few more cycles.

I know if I was a guy and kept giving free juice away, I'd call it quits after a couple tries assuming something is wrong with her, and she is wasting my time.

Also I have nailed every factor down to perfection...My problem is AGE , I'm 42...No changing that factor which after 14 months of trying I am really starting to think it's an egg quality issue maybe...Mom said her menopause started at 43 :(
Uh....so over all of this and I can NOT stand being on my period- I absolutely Abhor it.
 
Jlm- Hun I don't think your problem is age, yeah it could be part but you ovulate like clockwork and your temps stay nice and high in your tww. Honestly your problem is you don't get enough man juice! If you could get him to do a few donations each cycle you'd probably get pregnant right away.

Also if you're really concerned about egg quality I know soy can help. I think it's what helped me this month even though I ovulated later.

Don't be hard on yourself. You're not your mom! <3
 
I agree with Campn I don't think it's an egg issue but if you're concerned there are things out there to help out.

Gig- super cute!! I love it!
 
Thanks, but egg quality can only be checked via a fertility doc and embryologist...Big $ and I can't afford that.
When I was using first donor, I got 2-3 donations per cycle, timed near perfect everytime, and for a full year before that me and my ex had unprotected sex over a year, also perfectly timed- we were NTNP but I was charting every month, and using OPKs temping etc....
Not likely that 4 diff men in 14 months all have sperm issues:nope:
Also when I was a surro, my first couple - the wife was 42.
I got to see the embryos before each transfer, and tho they fertilized perfectly, and were in 100% perfect conditions ( embryologist monitoring) by 3dpo most embryos were shedding cells , and by 5dpo all were.

I recall vividly bcuz he showed me each time. They kept telling her to use an egg donor cuz her egg quality was poor, but she wouldn't listen.

So even if I Ov like clockwork, egg quality is HUGE, and most fert docs say by late 20's it loses a bit of quality, mid 30's is nearly 50% worse, and 40's 70%+ of quality has dropped.

I'm just being realistic. I've never been one to try and fool myself, and the same way we repeat facts about most common implant day, and most common day for bfp etc, there's no point ignoring certain facts ...

Haven't talked to donor yet, but if he's not willing, then I have another search to start. Not giving up, but the facts are def getn real.
Every child I have had has been conceived first cycle trying, bcuz I have logged my cycles since I was 13 lol.
So the fact that it hasn't worked with 4 diff men (diff ages even), and throw in the 2-3 chems I had last year....My eggs are the common denominator.
 
Makes sense J. I'm so glad you aren't going to give up yet though. It's unlikely you're at 100% poor quality, so it's going to happen eventually!

Afm...bfn on the big guns :cry: I know I still have time but man...was really expecting to see at least a faint shadow. I'm getting worried now :(

Edited to add: just realized two things. One, that both other positives weren't seen until 10dpo. Two, if I only o'ed the early morning of the 3rd, that only makes me 8dpo today, very unlikely to see a positive. I'm feeling a little better with these realizations....but wish i hadn't used a frer today.
 

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Age is an important factor, but it isn't the only factor, in all seriousness it's not, it just usually means it will take you longer to conceive. I'm 4 years older than first time we tried for my DS (which took us 1 try) and this time it took us 6 months and I'm 28! I don't smoke, or drink (often) or anything. It just gets harder over time for everyone.

I know these two beautiful girls who are like 19 and 17 and their mom had them at 42, and 44, and I would have never guessed it, they're model type beautiful, also we release different eggs every cycle, you just need that one really good egg that will be fertilized with all conditions being perfect.

Don't give up, you know it will happen but the Stars have to align first!

Have you talked to a doctor about it? I know there's a FSH home test you can take at CD3 to see how well your eggs are doing.
 
J, I am still holding out for you!!! :dust:

Gigs: FX, waiting for your pee sticks this morning. You and J's!

Mrs: I agree, don't tell hubby when you think you are ovulating. Some men just stress too much about the performance thing. I took our initial NTNP phase as "let's have some fun with :sex: again". Try new things, etc From BJ while he's trying to win a computer game to untried positions on new surfaces. He'll stop paying attention to your cycle because you just surprised him with a new idea. He'll be thinking about that for a while. haha
 
:coffee:
Temp tanked this morning...expecting the :witch: spotting later today, or overnight.
Grrr....Now I have to get with donor about trying once more.
My doc refused to do any fert testing including progest/fsh.
My insurance didn't cover it anyhow, and it's NOT cheap.
Honestly I have spent all my savings over the last 6 months, so I am in the neg now when I buy opks, hpts, etc.
I need to get my biz restarted, and am going to have to put the money there for the next several months...

Gigs I think that sounds very good on your end that you may be testing way early. Sorry about the Frer waste, but hopefully you have more of the old style.
BTW, I can see the "line" on your test pic, that I was mentioning on mine.
It looks verrrry thin and Gray.... not sure how it looks to you in person:shrug:
I'm seriously thinking cameras can capture some things it's hard to see IRL...kinda makes sense as they can pick up diff lighting, and hues in the whole color spectrum thingy that the human eye can't see,

Kinda like :dog: can hear pitches we can't?:rofl: I have gone from seeing test lines to dog whistles:dog::haha:
 
Gigs- I'm very hopeful for you!! If I squint I can see something on the FRER, but at 8 DPO it's still really too soon! Maybe retest at 10 DPO then you'd get a better answer.
 
Jlm- What a horrible doctor, it's still a routine test! Not a CT scan! Most insurances are pretty awful about covering fertility related tests, they think it'll cost them too much, I hate health insurance sometimes, the BS they get away with.

Let us know how the donor thing goes, I don't see why he'd say no, it's not like he doesn't touch himself all the time :p

I hope you're feeling better <3 shake it off and keep going mama!
 
:witch: is here....scratch all previous posts of her coming later today ugh...

The doc won't run them because she is not a fertility specialist and FSH is fertility related only. So she knows they won't cover it, and therefore isn't willing to send a lab form for it.
 
PL, go back a page to see my negative this morning.

J, i think you're on to something there with your camera theory. It would really explain how we seem to see lines on the screen but not in person...which could or could not be a good thing. Is it picking up an early bfp or just the antibody strip?

Sorry that damn whore period got you. I really do think it,s just a matter of time, though. I hole youngin' donor is up for the challenge again :thumbup: do you have an HMO? Maybe she can refer you...? Also, invest in some ic's. Wondfo's are amazing and they appear to be close to as sensitive as frer.

You all are kind for giving me encouragement :hugs:

I just have been through this enough to know a blank test when i see one...i know i have time though. The wait is killer. The thing of it is, if i'm not pregnant, my "tell" of not wanting food isn't a tell at all. It just means i need psychological evaluation, perhaps :haha:
 
J- sorry that bitch got you! Is there anything you can do to help egg quality without a doctor? Similar to how soy or cohosh is supposed to help ovulation?
Gig- don't give up hope! We're all pulling for you.

Afm- cd 7 already... Really hoping I ovulate this month on time! And really want to hurry up and be February already. But on a positive side week 2 of my fitness challenge starts today and I've been doing so good. Plus my birthday is in a week. So yay.
 
Gigs- 8 or 9 DPO is still so early, you may have not even implanted yet! With my son I kept getting negatives until 13 DPO, I completely gave up and I even had a beer! As long as the witch isn't here, you're good. I'm hopeful.

Mrs- I hope you get a super obvious ovulation this time, even though you're skipping this month it still means things are still normal and good. And almost happy birthday!

Ladies, I had cramping this morning similar to AF cramps, I couldn't go back to sleep and now they're gone but I'm still worried. I guess miscarriage at this point is 30% chance!? That is just too high of a chance. My tests are getting darker so hopefully the cramping isnt AF on the way.
 
I had cramps from 6dpo for about 2 weeks. And although mine ended in mc it has nothin to do with the cramps. I'm the type of person who Googled mc chances by day and asked my doctor. She said cramps are 100% normal it's implantation and uterus changing already. My downfall was the spotting. So don't stress missy!
 
Yup, cramps are totally normal. It's your uterus expanding, which feels exactly like it does when it contracts during your period.
 

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