General chatter while we wait (and commentary on the "pull out method")

[autumnal]

I don't think I will get a dating scan unfortunately, since I moved back to Canada. The medical care here isn't up to snuff with the states unfortunately. How's life with your new baby going?

 

[shaescott]

Gigs the house is not in good shape and is so energy inefficient that it costs a month’s mortgage to heat. We can’t afford to stay here. And my grandfather moved into an assisted living after getting some blood clots in December and not being able to regain his full mobility back, so we aren’t needed here and are just costing him money unfortunately, which we don’t want. Plus, we hate this state. We can’t wait to leave

@autumnal oh weird. People always talk about Canadian healthcare like it’s super great cuz of the universal healthcare thing vs health insurance in the US

 

[gigglebox]

Ahh boo maybe if you ask nicely andbat your eye lashes? Well what is standard then up there? 12 weeks?

I’m doing ok. I have ups and downs adjusting and definitely had a meltdown yesterday about my life being so different than what I envisioned but then I calm down knowing this stage is so very short. He’s already 4 weeks today like dang time is already flying! But overall I think I’m handling things pretty well all things considered…. But that said my mom is still here and has helped a ton. In a way I think her being gone will be better in that I can get back to my normal routine…but I’m soaking up not having to really care for my older boys as much, and also being able to nap here and there

I just really want to clean my house and do art though. I am looking forward to baby having a predictable schedule so I can plan around it and be productive.


Other than all that…..this house is feeling insanely cramped now! I really wish we had another room or two. We could probably physically do an addition but certainly not financially :/

 

[gigglebox]

Ohhh ok shae somehow i missed all that. Also I always forget if you’re in NH and prefer VT or the other way around…??

 

[autumnal]

Gigs I'll bet you just feel extra cramped with all the baby furniture crowding up the place! Those baby things take up so much room! I'm so not looking forward to going through all of that again (we stupidly got rid of everything)

Shae, all that stuff is a bunch of bologna, like yeah health care is free in Canada but you can't actually get in to see a doctor for a month so it's actually much worse here.. you can wait months for ultrasounds and tests.. my mom waited like two years to get a knee replaced, and a year for a brain MRI. I lived in the US for a long time so I've seen both sides of the coin and for sure in the US it's way better albeit pricy

 

[shaescott]

Ohhh ok shae somehow i missed all that. Also I always forget if you’re in NH and prefer VT or the other way around…??

We are currently in VT, and planning to move back to NH, which we much prefer.

Shae, all that stuff is a bunch of bologna, like yeah health care is free in Canada but you can't actually get in to see a doctor for a month so it's actually much worse here.. you can wait months for ultrasounds and tests.. my mom waited like two years to get a knee replaced, and a year for a brain MRI. I lived in the US for a long time so I've seen both sides of the coin and for sure in the US it's way better albeit pricy

Ah, I see. Yeah sometimes it can take a while here but I definitely got in for a non-urgent brain MRI in like a month, I got my wisdom teeth out in a month in 2020 of all years, and they weren’t even bothering me, so it wasn’t urgent.

 

[gigglebox]

What is better about New Hampshire? You can PM me if you want. We are thinking about eventually moving north (like years from now) and are always open for suggestions. Also it’s so beautiful up there! Then again I have only been in the warmer months (and was just passing through).

 

[shaescott]

What is better about New Hampshire? You can PM me if you want. We are thinking about eventually moving north (like years from now) and are always open for suggestions. Also it’s so beautiful up there! Then again I have only been in the warmer months (and was just passing through).

Well, southern NH is way closer to our friends and family. 1 hour away vs. 3.5 hours currently where we’re located in VT. So that’s a huge factor. After that is politics and laws. I’ll put this part in a spoiler for people who don’t want to read about politics.

Spoiler

VT is extremely liberal, while NH is more moderate in the south and conservative in the north. This is reflected in legislature. Recently the VT Supreme Court ruled that a school was fully within its rights to vaccinate a child at school directly against the parents’ previously stated wishes, for example. I’m not against vaccines by any means, but I would absolutely throw hands if I specifically stated not to give my child a certain elective medical treatment, only for the school to decide they know better than me as a parent and do it anyway. Also a ton of staff in this hospital wear pronoun badges. The hospital was giving them out. Also the big hospital is talking about changing the name of the maternity unit because it’s called “women and children’s”, and now not everyone who gives birth identifies as a woman, so it’s not politically correct to call it a women’s unit. Every single midwifery practice website in the state says “birthing persons” instead of “expecting mothers” or anything indicating the patients being female. I am exhausted by this shit. So if you’re not into that, VT loooooves that stuff, be warned. If you’re into it, you’ll love it there lol. Also if you want to buy a firearm and leave the store with it same day, you’re out of luck. 72 hour waiting period. Also mag limits. In NH you go in, do the federal background check, pay, and leave with your new firearm, the end.

As for the non-controversial stuff…
Pros of VT: no billboards on highways, beautiful, maple syrup is great, great skiing (but I don’t ski)… personally I think it’s nice to visit, but not to live in.
Pros of NH: no state income tax, no sales tax, lower cost of living overall, also beautiful

Cons of VT: high property taxes, state income tax, sales tax, literally everything is insanely expensive, nobody can afford to live here, if you’re in a valley like us it will snow every friggin day in winter
Cons of NH: also high property taxes, and vehicle inspections are stricter than many states

 

[autumnal]

I noticed there were some nice old houses for sale that were affordable out in the country in CT and MA, do you think they might be bad places to live? I haven't spent much time in either state but we are looking for something cheaper than the pa/nj/de which seems to be in a big bubble and NY laws scare me

 

[shaescott]

I noticed there were some nice old houses for sale that were affordable out in the country in CT and MA, do you think they might be bad places to live? I haven't spent much time in either state but we are looking for something cheaper than the pa/nj/de which seems to be in a big bubble and NY laws scare me

Depends on your priorities (and your politics). I grew up in MA, so it’ll always hold a special place in my heart. Not Boston, to be clear. I hate cities, and Boston is no exception. The only thing they’re good for, in my opinion, is the wide variety of food options (which I adore). And I guess event venues. Anyway, I grew up in a small town in MA, and it was great. The country areas are usually quite safe. Stay away from Worcester, Lynn, Lowell, Jamaica Plain, Springfield, really any high density population area I’d avoid living in. If there’s a large hospital in it, probably best to live outside that town. Most of the schools are quite good, though always check the school scores of course. I don’t know much about CT in that respect. I do know that the laws in both states are quite blue, so if that’s your thing, great, but if it’ll cause you issues, steer clear.
Gun laws example in spoiler:

Spoiler

For example, I can’t concealed carry a gun in MA because I live in a different state, I would have to apply for a non-resident license to carry (LTC), even though I have previously held a MA LTC, the moment you move out of the state it’s invalid, and they do not recognize licenses issued by other states. LTC issuance is town dependent. It’s completely up to the police chief whether they issue one, and in many towns they will simply deny you for no reason. I grew up in a town that was red leaning, so that wasn’t an issue, but you can actually google which towns are likely to deny you and which are likely to approve you. Of course, you have to apply in the town you live in. I believe CT also has strict gun laws similar to NY, but I’m not familiar with them.

 

[autumnal]

Depends on your priorities (and your politics). I grew up in MA, so it’ll always hold a special place in my heart. Not Boston, to be clear. I hate cities, and Boston is no exception. The only thing they’re good for, in my opinion, is the wide variety of food options (which I adore). And I guess event venues. Anyway, I grew up in a small town in MA, and it was great. The country areas are usually quite safe. Stay away from Worcester, Lynn, Lowell, Jamaica Plain, Springfield, really any high density population area I’d avoid living in. If there’s a large hospital in it, probably best to live outside that town. Most of the schools are quite good, though always check the school scores of course. I don’t know much about CT in that respect. I do know that the laws in both states are quite blue, so if that’s your thing, great, but if it’ll cause you issues, steer clear.
Gun laws example in spoiler:

Spoiler

For example, I can’t concealed carry a gun in MA because I live in a different state, I would have to apply for a non-resident license to carry (LTC), even though I have previously held a MA LTC, the moment you move out of the state it’s invalid, and they do not recognize licenses issued by other states. LTC issuance is town dependent. It’s completely up to the police chief whether they issue one, and in many towns they will simply deny you for no reason. I grew up in a town that was red leaning, so that wasn’t an issue, but you can actually google which towns are likely to deny you and which are likely to approve you. Of course, you have to apply in the town you live in. I believe CT also has strict gun laws similar to NY, but I’m not familiar with them.

Thanks, it sounds like they could be annoying but at least you can get the permit there.. provided you don't choose a bad town.. I have had some scary encounters from crazy people and loose dogs when out with my kids in the us so I want to make sure I can protect myself

 

[shaescott]

Thanks, it sounds like they could be annoying but at least you can get the permit there.. provided you don't choose a bad town.. I have had some scary encounters from crazy people and loose dogs when out with my kids in the us so I want to make sure I can protect myself

More politics ahead:

Spoiler

Yeah, just be aware that in MA the product selection is smaller due to regulations on mag capacity and trigger pull weight. All guns sold in MA have to go through additional MA compliance testing, which costs the companies a lot of money, so a lot of them just don’t bother selling in MA. DH did get one there though, it’s not like impossible. I had my LTC there, I just had to do a safety course that cost money, apply for license which cost money, and wait like a month for it to be approved. I didn’t mind the safety course, it was helpful and obviously safety knowledge is extremely important, I just think if it’s required, it should be free.

 

[autumnal]

More politics ahead:

Spoiler

Yeah, just be aware that in MA the product selection is smaller due to regulations on mag capacity and trigger pull weight. All guns sold in MA have to go through additional MA compliance testing, which costs the companies a lot of money, so a lot of them just don’t bother selling in MA. DH did get one there though, it’s not like impossible. I had my LTC there, I just had to do a safety course that cost money, apply for license which cost money, and wait like a month for it to be approved. I didn’t mind the safety course, it was helpful and obviously safety knowledge is extremely important, I just think if it’s required, it should be free.

I had to take a safety course here in Canada to get my long guns license haha so that's pretty familiar. It was kind of funny because I already had a lot of experience but they treat it as though you've never seen one before. I needed my long gun license here because I'm not going to risk going camping here with my kids without it with the wildlife being so crazy.