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[GersPrincess]

Gersprincess - is there no private room at all? where do you sleep if you stay over or what about MIL's room? Not comfortable i know though. It's unfair that they're being so unsupportive. What about trying to feed her in a sling? That way MIL won't see when she's pulled off and won't be able to take her off you as easily? There is a 10 week growth spurt but after that the spurts calm down a bit

Nope, there is literally nowhere I can go to feed her! Luckily, we only live 10 mins from their house so although I can feed her before we go round, she often wants a comfort feed whilst we are there when she gets upset.
They dont seem to understand that BF babies dont just eat every 4 hours, and I am still very much feeding on demand (18 hours a day almost right now!!) There have been times where I've just had to put Emily in her car seat, say we have to go pick my hubby up from work and then drive to the end of the road and put her to my breast cos she's got so worked up.

It drives me mental cos all my family have BF and they understand and make it so easy for me when we go to see them. Its just so frustrating that my support network is 500 miles away!!

I'm going to try the sling, hopefully that will do the trick. Any tips as to where to get one/what I am looking for? Many thanks.

 

[thelilbump]

I'd pop into the natural parenting section to ask tbh you'll get the best advice there. I have a babyhawk myself but i wouldn't really say it's a cosy sling for feeding tbh. I found this site helpful when i was looking round; https://www.bigmamaslings.co.uk/zen-cart/

 

[TigerLady]

GP, a ring sling with a long tail is ACE for BFing! I really like the idea of feeding her in a sling. Practice a few times when you are at home, so you both get the hang of it, then you can use it at the in laws. You can either sit and feed in the sling, or you can walk around. This will probably help keep MIL away from snatching her! And the tail on the sling makes it very descreet. I have used that to feed in public -- shops and resturants. No problems. You can even make one yourself if you are handy with a sewing machine. If you are interested in tips on making one, let me know!

S&B, I had cracked and bleeding nipples in the first few weeks. Egads what awful pain. I remember one time at the beginning of a feed, grabbing my DH's hand and squeezing to get through the pain of feeding. After about 10 seconds he let out a yelp and snatched his hand away. He said I was digging in so hard it was wicked painful. Oops. I just looked at him and said (through gritted teeth) "Well, I'll guarantee it is much less painful that this is!" I can remember dreading getting in the shower, and having to sheild my nipples with my hands whenever the water came near. Nothing could touch them!

For me, it started magically getting better about 4-6 weeks. I just kept putting loads of lanishnoh on all the time. Constantly. Right before a feed, right after a feed and any time I got tender in between. Then, all of the sudden, I realized I hadn't used it in a couple of days -- and that my nips were healed and didn't hurt anymore! I also found that thick, soft nursing pads help (I used Johnson and Johnsons). And using a super supportive bra that smooshes you right down (I used a sports bra that zips up the front and has extra support for workouts and sports). The combo of the soft pad and smooshing them down into not moving with pressure on them seemed to help ease the pain. Now there isn't the least bit of pain left and hasn't been for a couple of months.

 

[thelilbump]

love johnsons pads for disposables

Apparently you can get design materials to make your own ring slings off ebay for about £5.

 

[saraendepity]

I've got to that point where I think I might have to give up BFing. This breaks my heart so much as it's the most natural and beautiful thing to do, not to mention so much better for baby. But I'm in agony. It's been pain and stress for Lola's 3 short week's of life. First I was engorged after 3 days and she couldn't feed and I was in agony. Then I had to express and feed her from a cup but top up with formula but not from a bottle. Then I managed to start feeding but had to express first to get things going. I was in a lot of pain still with throbbing and cracked nipples. I saw a breast feeding counsellor who helped a lot but that's at her house and the position never seems to work back at home.

This morning I am cracked and sore and just unable to put Lola on the breast. Ive expressed to feed her and given her some formula.

I have Lansinoh on my nipples and paraffin gauze. Not much seems to work, though. I also have Reynauds, which means I get a tingly, pins and needles feeling in between feeds.

People keep saying it gets easier and the first few weeks are the hardest. This makes me think I should keep going but I just don't know how much longer I can endure this pain for. When will it get better?? I'm not managing to enjoy my baby at the moment as feeding is such a big issue. Being in pain when BFing means I'm tense and I'm sure Lola can pick up on this. Is it worth it or should I just switch to formula. I just can't bare it when she roots and looks for my breast. I feel like I'm failing her.

Sorry for my rant....

Oh hun huge hugs. it does and WILL get better does the pain last the whole feed or is it only for the first minute or so? if you are in pain the whole feed then this can indicate a bad latch position...have you tried feeding her in different holds, Rugby, X cradle or lying down?? you might find one of those more comfy than others till your poor nips get used to the BF huge huge hun

sara

xxxxxx

 

[Soph&Bump]

Oh hun huge hugs. it does and WILL get better does the pain last the whole feed or is it only for the first minute or so? if you are in pain the whole feed then this can indicate a bad latch position...have you tried feeding her in different holds, Rugby, X cradle or lying down?? you might find one of those more comfy than others till your poor nips get used to the BF huge huge hun

sara

xxxxxx[/QUOTE]

Thanks Sara

I gave my boobs a day and a half of of BFing and expressed and gave a couple of bottles of formula. It was a relief not to have Lola on/off as it does take me a while to get a good latch on. But the electric pump is it's own form of torture!!

I got the breastfeeding counsellor to come to my house to see me feed here and it wasn't too bad. Not too painful. If I make sure Lola's mouth is really wide and squash my boob into her mouth, it's less painful. If I'm a bit lax and her mouth is more closed it hurts. When it's been taking quite a few goes to get her latched on and when I get the first few seconds of agony with each go, I think I sometimes let her stay on when it's not a good latch on. I know I need to get her off when it's not good.

The pain is more after feeding now and in between feeds. I think this is partly because of Reynauds, which is like chill blains (sp?) in the nipples. It hurts if I so much as knock them and when I put a towel round me for example. My nipples are just super sensitive I think. I just don't know if this will pass or if the Reynauds will mean I'll always be in pain. I need to keep my boobs warm. I'm putting Lansinoh on all the time to keep the cracking at bay and that has worked. That's one less thing to worry about but I've only been back on BFing since yesterday afternoon. I am sore and started to dread the next feed but am determined to stick with it. I'm taking Paracetamol for pain now.

I'm so jealous of my friends who can just stick their babies on in any ol' position. I have to completely man handle my boob to make sure it's in her mouth. And she has to be in the perfect position.

I'm a bit worried about trying other positions as I'm not sure if I'll do them properly and LO will get stressed and frustrated, and I'll have a few painful latch ons. I know it's personal, but would you recommend one in particular. What is the X cradle one?

Thanks again.

Sophie x

 

[TigerLady]

Different positions can be really helpful for some! If you are worried about her getting frustrated with a different position, maybe try it half way through a feed, or on the second boob. That way she is not as hungry as at the beginning of a feed and may be more tolerant to try other things.

There is a intro to different holds here:
https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-do-i-hold-thee-positions-and-tips-for-making-breastfeedi_8784.bc

Also, you can often find video of how to get them in these positions on You Tube (strangely enough! haha)

Making sure they have a good latch is crucial. It is such a pain to make them unlatch and go at it again, but you need to try as often as possible. They need to learn that good latch. It doesn't have to be 100% perfect every time, but it shouldn't cause intense pain. And the closer you get to perfect, the easier things will be for everyone in the long run.

It REALLY will get better -- especially her latch -- as she gets bigger and you get more practiced. As her mouth gets bigger you won't have to squeeze your boob down so much.

Keep asking if you need help! You are doing a fantastic job!

 

[saraendepity]

i found the X cradle hold very useful in the early days as you can really get them on quickly....as soon as her mouth opened literally shove her head towards the boob ! LOL sounds v Brutal but you only really get a second or two to get them on before they close their little mouths!!! i also used the Rugby (i think its called football hod on the above site) that really really helped with any pain.

have you tried shields - they are like little cups you put over your nipples while you arent feeding and they should help protect from any knocks too ...will see if i can find a picture or link for you xxxx

 

[saraendepity]

https://www.ciao.co.uk/Avent_Breast_Shells__Review_5218086

what about these hun...without the inner bit that sits on your nipple ...you might be able to gently pad around the outer shell thing so it sits around your Areola and then you should get no pressure inbetween feeds?? i have a set of these that i have never used so if you think they might be of any use to you you can have them ??

 

[Soph&Bump]

Different positions can be really helpful for some! If you are worried about her getting frustrated with a different position, maybe try it half way through a feed, or on the second boob. That way she is not as hungry as at the beginning of a feed and may be more tolerant to try other things.

There is a intro to different holds here:
https://www.babycenter.com/0_how-do-i-hold-thee-positions-and-tips-for-making-breastfeedi_8784.bc

Also, you can often find video of how to get them in these positions on You Tube (strangely enough! haha)

Making sure they have a good latch is crucial. It is such a pain to make them unlatch and go at it again, but you need to try as often as possible. They need to learn that good latch. It doesn't have to be 100% perfect every time, but it shouldn't cause intense pain. And the closer you get to perfect, the easier things will be for everyone in the long run.

It REALLY will get better -- especially her latch -- as she gets bigger and you get more practiced. As her mouth gets bigger you won't have to squeeze your boob down so much.

Keep asking if you need help! You are doing a fantastic job!

Hi Tigerlady

Thanks for your encouraging post. I tried the lying down position on my second side, so LO not frustrated. I couldn't get it to work as she seemed too low and ended up just chewing my nip off. Ouch. Will try some other positions. I keep thinking there's a miracle position waiting to be tried that is painless. I live in hope.

In the same way that hands get toughened when repeatedly doing manual work. Do nipples get tougher. After having my break from BF for a day and a half, my nipples are a bit cracked/hard again. Im hoping they toughen up but not sure if it's wishful thinking...

 

[Soph&Bump]

https://www.ciao.co.uk/Avent_Breast_Shells__Review_5218086

what about these hun...without the inner bit that sits on your nipple ...you might be able to gently pad around the outer shell thing so it sits around your Areola and then you should get no pressure inbetween feeds?? i have a set of these that i have never used so if you think they might be of any use to you you can have them ??

Hey thanks. It's funny, I actually bought these when I thought I was getting nipple shields. I was gutted when I got home to discover they weren't for feeding with. I chucked them somewhere, as I couldn't actually work out exactly what was supposed to be done with them. There were no instructions as such. But I've kind of got it now. After reading your post and suffering from my bra pressing my nipples down and causing further pain, I've stuck them down my bra! It is actually really nice as there's nothing pressing on me. Is this the general idea for their use.

 

[TigerLady]

They don't really develop rough bits like hands do. But they eventually hurt less and become less sensitive. LO can pull the heck out of mine now and it is only annoying, not painful.

As for the lying down position, that is actually a harder one for very young babies, for the exact reason that you mentioned. They aren't big enough yet to come up to the boob in the right spot. A few tricks you can try to help out:

Lay baby on something that makes them a bit higher -- I used a Sassy Sleep positioner at first, it kept LO on his side so I didn't have to hold his back and it raised him just enough to be even with my nipple.

https://www.amazon.com/Sassy-Ultima...ie=UTF8&s=baby-products&qid=1261074634&sr=8-1

But you could use other things, too. a pile of blankets or a pillow. Just don't let LO fall asleep on anything that would be too soft to be safe for sleeping.

You can also lay a receiving blanket under LO with a bit hanging out behind her. Then grab that extra bit and pull it over her her toward you to roll her on her side and keep her there.

Keep at it! If you keep trying and give both of you time to adjust, you will be so glad you did. You'll find what works for you eventually and then things will start to fall into place and this will be easy and enjoyable.

 

[wishingonastar]

https://www.ciao.co.uk/Avent_Breast_Shells__Review_5218086

what about these hun...without the inner bit that sits on your nipple ...you might be able to gently pad around the outer shell thing so it sits around your Areola and then you should get no pressure inbetween feeds?? i have a set of these that i have never used so if you think they might be of any use to you you can have them ??

Hey thanks. It's funny, I actually bought these when I thought I was getting nipple shields. I was gutted when I got home to discover they weren't for feeding with. I chucked them somewhere, as I couldn't actually work out exactly what was supposed to be done with them. There were no instructions as such. But I've kind of got it now. After reading your post and suffering from my bra pressing my nipples down and causing further pain, I've stuck them down my bra! It is actually really nice as there's nothing pressing on me. Is this the general idea for their use.

i noticed you said you didn't get instructions with your shells...well incase you weren't aware, you mustn't wear them for more than 40 mins at a time

hope they help you

 

[wishingonastar]

Hey ladies,
I hope I'm putting this in the right place.
I am currently feeding my 3rd baby now, and in the past I have never ever had any problems BF anywhere at all. However, it is made very difficult for me to BF Emily at my inlaws and as a result, I've stopped going round there.
I dont want to do this, but they make it so hard for me to feed round there, that I just cant put myself or Emily through it anymore.
The lounge is basically FIL's room, and nobody is allowed in there, so I cant feed her there (plus he is super uncomfortable with the idea of me feeding her myself)
I cant do it in the kitchen because my MIL will literally pull Emily off my lap when she pauses during a feed claiming she has wind, even though she is not a windy baby, which causes her to scream blue murder, then it's hard for me to get her back. Plus, the dining chairs are really uncomfortable and it puts too much strain on my back, and because i cant get comfy, Emily cant get comfy, wont feed, gets dragged off by the MIL, viscious cycle ensues.

They are both incredibly unsupportive of my decision to BF as they have no experience of anyone doing it and it is apparently "unnatural". Because I now live 500 miles away from my family, they are the only family support we have up here, and with my hubby working in Germany, there are times when I need them. (my other 2 arent his!)

To be honest, their whole attitude is pushing me close to giving up feeding Emily, and I really really really dont want to do that.
My hubby has tried speaking to them, but they dont listen, they aren't too bad when he is there, but he isn't home often so I dont have his physical support.

Emily seems to be going through some kind of spurt again (at 10 weeks, is this normal?) and at night, she cant seem to get enough satisfaction from my breasts. She pulls and pulls at them as though she isnt getting what she wants fast enough, and never appears full enough to fall into a deep sleep. I dont want to give her a bottle, but she just seems so unhappy that I cant bear to be the route of it.

If anyone can tell me anything I can do, especially about feeding Emily at night, I would appreciate it more than you can ever know.

Similarly if anyone has experiences of not being able to feed in certain places, I would love to hear from you too.

Thanks so much xxxx

i'm so sorry about your in-laws, but i would say if BFing is important to you then don't let them wear you down about it...
i don't know how easy you'd find it to say something to your MIL but if she takes your daughter from you when she pauses in feeding, i think you might need to try the polite, but direct approach 'please leave my daughter with me, while I feed and wind her and you may have her when i am finished...now piss off!!!' ok...maybe not those last three words!

with regards your milk supply and you being concerned she's not getting full enough...with an exclusively BF baby it's virtually unheard of that you wouldn't produce enough milk as its supply and demand...sometimes they put their order in a little in advance of a growth spurt though and they go through one at approx 12 weeks so sound like this could be the case...

if she's generally content and happy between feeds and putting on weight as expected then she's doing just fine...also make sure you're eating a good varied diet to ensure she's getting the right nutrients filtering through to her

i noticed you asked what sling you could try...either a ring sling or a moby wrap is probably your best bet for feeding in

 

[wishingonastar]

also, i have now learnt to time it so i feed isabel immediately before leaving the house to do something which greatly minimises the need to feed her while i'm out...perhaps you could try this tactic...fill her up and cluster feed her before going to your in-laws!

speaking of cluster feeding...is she cluster feeding in the evening? isabel used to manically cluster feed as a newborn from about 5pm til 9pm (would be hungry every 30-60 mins) and although it meant i was permanently on the sofa with my babs out, it also meant she slept longer as a result at night

now she's older she will still cluster feed if i put her to my breast, but is also happy not to and will play with toys instead, but i've noticed if i don't encourage her to cluster feed i get woken up earlier for her morning feed so i always try to fill her up in the evening!!!

you could try cluster feeding as much as poss in the 3-4 hours before LO's bedtime...also make sure you're offering the second breast at each feed (particularly at night if you feel LO is hungrier then...)...LO will only drink if hungry so you won't overfeed.

i know you mentioned the possibility of a bottle...well it might give you reassurance with continuing to BF and having faith in doing so, to know that formula doesn't always assist with getting a baby to sleep longer at night...each LO is different regardless of how they're fed...have faith in your milk supply, i truly think you'll crack it with a little tweaking such as increasing cluster feeding and always offering second breast

 

[GersPrincess]

Thank you wishingonastar! I think, as usual I was panicking about nothing. Emily put on another 10oz this week, so clearly she is getting enough. I think she just gets frustrated at night when there doesnt seem to be enough for her. I've started to express about 11am-midday and this seems to be increasing the night flow.
She does clusterfeed around 4-7pm, then again between 9-11.30 now. I moved her into her own room on wed and she's slept from 11.30 till 7am both nights which is fabulous. I'm hoping she keeps this up!!

As for the MIL - thankfully hubby has taken care of her! he got back from germany last night and we had to pop round there for half an hour. Emily was asleep in her carseat so we put her in the lounge with fil where it was warm and quiet so she could carry on sleeping. MIL moaned. we ignored. FIL asked us to come look at his fuses and we were out the room 2 mins before we heard an almighty scream.. go running back in there and MIL had got Emily out her carseat woken her up because she had wind.. she was smiling in her sleep which apparently means wind to mil. anyhoo, hubby went demented at her. I dont think we'll have a problem for a little while now!

Thanks for sling recommendation, I've added them to my christmas list and fingers crossed I get one xxx

 

[Soph&Bump]

https://www.ciao.co.uk/Avent_Breast_Shells__Review_5218086

what about these hun...without the inner bit that sits on your nipple ...you might be able to gently pad around the outer shell thing so it sits around your Areola and then you should get no pressure inbetween feeds?? i have a set of these that i have never used so if you think they might be of any use to you you can have them ??

stuck them down my bra! It is actually really nice as there's nothing pressing on me. Is this the general idea for their use.

i noticed you said you didn't get instructions with your shells...well incase you weren't aware, you mustn't wear them for more than 40 mins at a time

hope they help you

Oh my god, I've had them down there almost permanently. Why can you only use them for 40 minutes. It's the only thing that gives my nipples a break and it means the Lansinoh doesn't get smudged off by my bra. I will have to stop...Thanks for letting me know.

S

 

[wishingonastar]

hey soph, i have avent ones and in the instructions it says max of 40 mins due to the pressure it puts on the breast...could lead to blocked ducts i guess.

if you're really suffering, i found putting a savoy cabbage in the fridge then putting a chilled leaf inside my bra was helpful, though this is also a technique used when people want to reduce their supply so i wouldn't use it more than a few hours a day

piling on lansinoh cream really helped me...i'd put it on before a feed (as its safe for baby to consume and meant isabel wasn't latching onto dry nipples and making them crack all over again!), after a feed and randomly during the day and it stopped my pads sticking to my nipple which was agony (you can get this free on prescription)

 

[Soph&Bump]

hey soph, i have avent ones and in the instructions it says max of 40 mins due to the pressure it puts on the breast...could lead to blocked ducts i guess.

if you're really suffering, i found putting a savoy cabbage in the fridge then putting a chilled leaf inside my bra was helpful, though this is also a technique used when people want to reduce their supply so i wouldn't use it more than a few hours a day

piling on lansinoh cream really helped me...i'd put it on before a feed (as its safe for baby to consume and meant isabel wasn't latching onto dry nipples and making them crack all over again!), after a feed and randomly during the day and it stopped my pads sticking to my nipple which was agony (you can get this free on prescription)

Wow, thanks. Didn't know you could get this on prescription. Will definitely be going for that for my next tube. Unrelated, you can also get Colief on prescription, which I'm also going to do. That's a saving of about £20! Have to make those savings. Thanks again for your advice.

 

[New2Bumps]

I don't know where to start! I've already posted on the forum and lots of ppl are offering advice but I'd love a bf champion! My story is such a mess up from the lovely birth and bringing baby home I'd planned!!!

Rushed into hospital when waters went early - baby born a month early at 36 weeks. Baby spent 3 days in the ward with me where (after an initial nice hour or so where I was helped to try bf and shown how to express) I was told he had problems keeping his temp up, bloodsugar was low and he was slow feeding. He was then on 3 hourly feeds (bottle, they said he was too slow on the cup), heel pricks for blood sugar, temp checks and kept on a heated matress so I wasn't 'encouraged' to pick him up. Infact, they wanted to do everything themselves from the feeding to the nappy changing... I hardly had any contact with him really. In hindsight I should've insisted I was given at least 10 min skin to skin a day where I could put him to the breast but at the time I was in turmoil. The last 4 days he was in hospital he went to neonatal as he developed jaundice. He was on phototherapy and they continued with the bottle feeds (was important he had fluids down him as this helps the jaundice go) but again no skin to skin no putting him to the breast. I did express colostrum and milk at the hospital but not very much although quite regularly (not at night very much).

He's been home for 5 days now and I'm so unsure what to do for the best. He was on 3 hourly feeds of 60ml in the neonatal and we have to continue that routine for the time being - I think until he starts putting good weight on. I'm trying him at the breast most times he is fed and he roots for the nipple and latches on (sometimes good sometimes only a little) and sucks hard but I think he gets frustrated at the slowness of the milk because he only sucks for under a minute. Sometimes he wants the breast just for comfort as he puts it in his mouth and just keeps it there. Only 2 times has he kept stopping and starting, sucking for over a couple mins when I think he may have been actually feeding.
At the moment he's on half formula half breastmilk. I'm expressing after every feed to make this amount. The routine is put him to the breast, feed, change (OH does this sometimes) then express for half an hour. This is so frustrating and time consuming especially at night as I feel like I'm trying to do it all, express, bf and formula feed.
It's only day 5 and I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's not fair as if he'd of been on time I'd have been able to try and bf him 'normally' by keep putting him to the breast and wouldn't be faffing with formula or expressing. The midwife suggested I just formula feed him so that OH and I can take turns and that I'd still be able to try putting him to the breast every time but I don't want to not give him my milk for at least his first 4 weeks. She's told me I can't try to bf him in the conventional way i.e. by just offering him the boob and topping him up with a bottle of formula a couple times a day because he still needs his neonatal routine of measured intake every 3 hours.

My ideal is to be exclusively bfing.
My second is that even if I have to go down the forumla route I can express bm for him just a couple of times a day but I don't think this is possible is it?
I have to choose between expressing and trying to bf - I can't keep trying to do it all.

Every time he has his bottle I feel like he's unlearning what he's learnt and now is he just going to use the boob for comfort?

I've got in touch with a bf consultant who runs a group and she should be phoning me in the next couple days. I've found a bf support group at the local children's centre that I could go to but I need to be on the right tracks first.

I try expressing a bit of milk first to make the flow fast for him but this doesn't seem to make a difference. I try when he's not too hungry. I try sometimes after he's had a bit of his feed in a bottle but don't like to interrupt his feed too much. I do rub his cheek and leave him latched on etc when he's on but stops sucking!

Sorry I've ranted so much but I don't know what to do or where to turn - I didn't get the birth I wanted by any means and my baby was in neonatal and now I'm worried another dream is about to bite the dust.

xxx