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[New2Bumps]

Ooh think I missed a couple of posts there... I'll pass that onto the midwife Wishing!!! Thanks everyone, especially Wishing and Tigerlady, you've both been brilliant and are helping a lot Don't go away!

 

[TigerLady]

We won't!

Check here, too, toward the bottom of the page there is advice for babies that are home and having trouble latching well. I think you will find it reassuring (states that it taking 4-8 weeks for some babies is normal). Also, it has advice on increasing supply:

https://www.kellymom.com/newman/26baby_refuses_to_latch.html

When you do your "bed time" on Wednesday, include loads of skin to skin contact. Just get the room warm, strip baby down to just a diaper, take your shirt and bra off, and just have loads of cuddle time.

Also, to help with hand compression, get a warm compress and place that on your breast for 2-3 minutes before you try to express. Do some good massage, too -- hard kneading... so it almost hurts but not quite. Just don't be too gentle. Between the warm compress and the massage it might help get a better flow going.

Don't be worried if you never get much out by hand. It is really hard to do - some ladies can't at all. I think it is a good sign that you get drops already. For example, I just had to pump and got 10 ounces. The most I have ever gotten doing it by hand was 3 ounces! That is a massive difference.

 

[avabear73]

10 ounces!!!!! Wow!!!! I'm ecstatic with 4 LOL! As for hand expressing, it comes out, but goes all over the place, runs down my hand and everything - and I get really huffy if any is wasted

N2B - the bed day - good luck! You sound more positive already Let us know when you hear from the breastfeeding counsellor.

 

[TigerLady]

I know -- it is ridiculous, isn't it! Maybe that is why my 5 month old weighs 25 lbs and has rolls for his rolls!!

As for hand expressing -- I only do it in dire situations (like once I went snowmobiling and forgot my pump...oops... ended up hand expressing into the snowbank -- talk about a waste! ) If I can, I put a big bottle or milk bag as much around my boob as possible. Otherwise it goes everywhere on me, too, and I waste loads.

 

[thelilbump]

New 2 bumps; wow you've kept these ladies on their toes tonight How you feeling now? Hopfully a bit more positive? Sorry I had to kind of rush read through your story earlier but I hope you're feeling better about the whole thing now. We're always here if you want any advice, as TL said you can PM a champion yourself if you feel like someone's particularly 'on your level' so to say or you can drop me a pm with details and I can arrange or you can just keep it to the boards whatever suits.

Thanks to the ladies who responded

 

[New2Bumps]

Yes I do feel more positive - just knowing that it's not just down to circumstances that my LO isnt' bfing already, that full term babies have difficulties etc... thanks for getting the ball rolling Such good support on here! Can't believe I was here back in May with a bfp and now asking for bf advice ) x

 

[wishingonastar]

Yes Wishingonastar I'll bear that in mind - my time in hospital did show me that opinions differed a lot and weren't necessarily 'medical' opinions but personal ones.
At the moment LO won't latch on for more than a minute or so. Once he is on for 5 mins or more then I think I could be reasonably sure that he's feeding?

if you google 'breastfeeding' and 'latching' you'll get a load of links to videos come up (also look on u-tube) and in them they explain how to look for correct latch and swallowing...if you can't feel your letdown or hear him swallowing then look for swallowing by his throat moving in the way yours would when drinking...the videos on the net will explain better i think!

 

[FsMummy]

I don't know where to start! I've already posted on the forum and lots of ppl are offering advice but I'd love a bf champion! My story is such a mess up from the lovely birth and bringing baby home I'd planned!!!

Rushed into hospital when waters went early - baby born a month early at 36 weeks. Baby spent 3 days in the ward with me where (after an initial nice hour or so where I was helped to try bf and shown how to express) I was told he had problems keeping his temp up, bloodsugar was low and he was slow feeding. He was then on 3 hourly feeds (bottle, they said he was too slow on the cup), heel pricks for blood sugar, temp checks and kept on a heated matress so I wasn't 'encouraged' to pick him up. Infact, they wanted to do everything themselves from the feeding to the nappy changing... I hardly had any contact with him really. In hindsight I should've insisted I was given at least 10 min skin to skin a day where I could put him to the breast but at the time I was in turmoil. The last 4 days he was in hospital he went to neonatal as he developed jaundice. He was on phototherapy and they continued with the bottle feeds (was important he had fluids down him as this helps the jaundice go) but again no skin to skin no putting him to the breast. I did express colostrum and milk at the hospital but not very much although quite regularly (not at night very much).

He's been home for 5 days now and I'm so unsure what to do for the best. He was on 3 hourly feeds of 60ml in the neonatal and we have to continue that routine for the time being - I think until he starts putting good weight on. I'm trying him at the breast most times he is fed and he roots for the nipple and latches on (sometimes good sometimes only a little) and sucks hard but I think he gets frustrated at the slowness of the milk because he only sucks for under a minute. Sometimes he wants the breast just for comfort as he puts it in his mouth and just keeps it there. Only 2 times has he kept stopping and starting, sucking for over a couple mins when I think he may have been actually feeding.
At the moment he's on half formula half breastmilk. I'm expressing after every feed to make this amount. The routine is put him to the breast, feed, change (OH does this sometimes) then express for half an hour. This is so frustrating and time consuming especially at night as I feel like I'm trying to do it all, express, bf and formula feed.
It's only day 5 and I'm feeling overwhelmed. It's not fair as if he'd of been on time I'd have been able to try and bf him 'normally' by keep putting him to the breast and wouldn't be faffing with formula or expressing. The midwife suggested I just formula feed him so that OH and I can take turns and that I'd still be able to try putting him to the breast every time but I don't want to not give him my milk for at least his first 4 weeks. She's told me I can't try to bf him in the conventional way i.e. by just offering him the boob and topping him up with a bottle of formula a couple times a day because he still needs his neonatal routine of measured intake every 3 hours.

My ideal is to be exclusively bfing.
My second is that even if I have to go down the forumla route I can express bm for him just a couple of times a day but I don't think this is possible is it?
I have to choose between expressing and trying to bf - I can't keep trying to do it all.

Every time he has his bottle I feel like he's unlearning what he's learnt and now is he just going to use the boob for comfort?

I've got in touch with a bf consultant who runs a group and she should be phoning me in the next couple days. I've found a bf support group at the local children's centre that I could go to but I need to be on the right tracks first.

I try expressing a bit of milk first to make the flow fast for him but this doesn't seem to make a difference. I try when he's not too hungry. I try sometimes after he's had a bit of his feed in a bottle but don't like to interrupt his feed too much. I do rub his cheek and leave him latched on etc when he's on but stops sucking!

Sorry I've ranted so much but I don't know what to do or where to turn - I didn't get the birth I wanted by any means and my baby was in neonatal and now I'm worried another dream is about to bite the dust.

xxx

hi hun i want to give you a huge my twins were born at 36 weeks but i was very lucky and they fed really well from the start. sounds like you had an awful time in the hospital. the twins also had to have thier blood sugar and temps done regularly and they insisted i give them formula. sounds silly but i cried when they said i had to give them formula because i was so determined to exclusively bf for the first few weeks. they have formula once or twice a day now which im disappointed about but still over the moon we have still managed to bf this long. i dont really have any advice but i personally would put him to the breast as often as possible, maybe when hes a bit bigger and stronger he will have the strength to get a good latch and feed for longer

 

[New2Bumps]

Thanks for your advice.

We had to take him back into hospital last night - he has a cold virus (bronchialitus).

Another night of disruption and not putting him to the breast and not expressing. He has trouble feeding as it is from the bottle and I think with everything in perspective I just want him to be fed.

 

[TigerLady]

Oh no, hon. I am so very sorry to hear that. I hope he gets better very soon. Thinking of you!

 

[avabear73]

So sorry to hear he's poorly Hope he's better soon - take care of yourself too

 

[New2Bumps]

thanks xxx

 

[bunnyg82]

Hello everyone, I thought here might be a good place to ask and I know I have ages to go to worry about it, but I like to be organised and don't want to fret too much about it! I am a bit nervous about asking as I don't want to offend anyone as I have no problem with people FF but for me I really 110% want to BF. I have bought an electric pump (only bought it so early because it was half price) and would like to express a bottle a day.

Even if for some reason I can't get the latch then I will want to exclusively express.

Am I being unrealistic or is it good to be optimistic and believe that I can do it? I have just got concerned as I told my sis that I got a pump and she was all negative really, saying how she couldn't breastfeed any of her kids and kind of implying I shouldn't have bought the pump x

 

[TigerLady]

Please don't listen to ANY of those kinds of comments! You absolutely can do it. For me, it was best to just go into it with the thought that I had no other option. That way I was willing to power through any difficulty. I would even recommend getting rid of the formula freebies you will get in the mail right before your due date (too big of a temptation).

I don't think it was too early to buy a pump. I had one before LO arrived, too. I even had some bottles for BF'ed babies. However, I didn't unpackage any of it. I put it in a cabinent and forgot I had any of it.

I wouldn't expect to start pumping for at least 4-6 weeks. It is important that you and baby adjust to bfing first. If you are concerned about allowing OH to feed baby, too, just tell him he will get to -- after 4-6 weeks. In the early days, if he wants a bonding experience all his own, let him have a job like giving baby her bath.

Even though you should go into bfing assuming you will do it and it will be just fine -- don't think for even a second that means it will be easy. It won't. I would recommend browsing through the breastfeeding section between now and the time the baby arrives to read about the other challenges ladies face and the advice they get for it. That will make you feel like it is going normally for you, even when it is going horribly.

Any questions you have, please ask! Nothing is too simple or silly. And it isn't too early to start asking!

Just because your sister wasn't able to bfed, doesn't mean you won't be able to. My sis gave up bfing her first (due to bad medical advice, I believe ) when LO was only 3 weeks old. She had to give up bfing her second after 6 weeks due to going on the pill and it drying her up.

I, on the other hand, have been bfing just fine for nearly 6 months now. LO hasn't had a drop of formula. And he shows no signs of changing this, despite my being pg again. So, it is totally possible for you, too!

Have faith in yourself, your body, and your baby's instincts to eat!

 

[Marleysgirl]

Even if for some reason I can't get the latch then I will want to exclusively express.

Am I being unrealistic or is it good to be optimistic and believe that I can do it? I have just got concerned as I told my sis that I got a pump and she was all negative really, saying how she couldn't breastfeed any of her kids and kind of implying I shouldn't have bought the pump x

Both my Mum and my Nan had trouble BFeeding so were surprised when I was so determined to have a go! As it turned out, Andrew was an extreme preemie and didn't take to BF despite us both "doing it correctly" according to the experts, so I have been expressing for almost 5 months now, and there are others around who've been going for longer. My priority is for my baby to receive breastmilk by whatever method possible. Just be aware, if you do decide to exclusively express, it's a very time-consuming option (double the feeding time - pump & feed).

 

[wishingonastar]

bunny - i think its excellent to be optimistic and as knowledgable as possible to give yourself the best shot, but also to realise it doesn't always work out like we planned...i was totally committed but had awful problems at the start and seriously thought about stopping...luckily i overcame the problems with support but i hadn't realised how hard it could be for some people so i felt like a failure

brace yourself incase it doesn't work for you, but i'm sure it will work out and if you need support don't hesitate to ask

 

[bunnyg82]

Hi all, thank you so much for your replies, was exactly what I needed! I have still got a long way to go yet and so I really need to start sieving out the advice that doesn't sound right/doesn't apply to me etc and only take the advice that feels right!

I shall definitely be doing lots of reading in this section and tiger i think the idea of thinking there is no other alternative is a good one as well as the rest of your advice thank you so much xx

 

[wishingonastar]

i never bought formula as a back up (lots of mums do) so when i was struggling i'd think 'right i'm buying formula' then before i knew it isabel would need feeding again, i'd battle through, didn't get round to buying formula and eventually the BFing sorted itself out! if i'd bought formula in advance 'just in case' i'm not so sure i'd still be BFing now!

 

[Marleysgirl]

Just to put a slightly different point of view - having formula sitting in reserve might lessen a new mum's stress level, resulting in more successful breastfeeding. Or is this just me?

I was stressing about producing enough milk, but once I had formula on standby (prescription NutriPrem2), my worries about feeding my baby eased and my milk production went up. It still sits there unopened.

 

[TigerLady]

Hmm.. maybe. I guess that is a personal decision. I had cans that I got in the mail, but was never tempted to use them. But I know others that have given into the temptation and then started a never ending cycle of supplementing that leads to drying up.

I guess if you think you can be strong enough to only use it in an emergency and it helps you relax, then it wouldn't be a bad thing. But if you are the type to do "just this once" then I would say don't have it. I assume there are 24 hours shops in the UK? You can always send DH out at anytime to get something if you REALLY REALLY need.