Getting Fit Before Baby

[MissDoc]

Oh swimmy, this is such such delightful news! Congratulations!!! So amazing!!!

I'm really sorry about the friend. I can see both sides I guess. I felt I was always one of the last left in the monthly TTC threads when we were trying and it was hard, but I never felt so bad about that I could be happy for my friends who got pregnant.

You definitely have us here to be happy for you!! How old will your daughter be when second baby arrives?

 

[swimmyj1]

Beta went up to 848 on Monday yay!!! Doubling time under 40 hours. Ultrasound is scheduled for 5/10. Can’t wait!!!!

Thanks for the support with the friend situation krissie and doc. I felt so bad about hurting her, a little guilty even. until she messaged me saying she couldn’t believe how selfish I was for getting pregnant a second time before she had one. (This is going to sound very judgy so bear with me please). 1st thing she’s not even married yet, she called off her wedding when she found out her fiancée most likely wouldn’t be able to have kids, 2 she’s never been to a fertility doctor with him, 3 me being pregnant had nothing to do with her!!! I was graceful and ignored the texts.

Krissie - I’m definitely going to have to make sure me and lizzy still get 1:1 I think that’s really important for them to see you still have time for them.

Doc - my daughter will be almost 2 1/2 so fingers crossed she’s talking a little more than she is now. (And I would love to be able to potty train while I’m on maternity leave hahaha)

 

[krissie328]

Your beta looks great!! I am so so excited for you. I hope your scan shows a nice little bean in there. How far will you be then? Hopefully you will see the heartbeat.

The friend situation sucks but she does sound a bit crazy about it all. This is totally not about her at all so I guess it is just better to let that friendship go.

Christian got a lot more needy for attention after the baby. He suddenly wanted me to play all the time with him or sit and snuggle. Things he never did before. I have honestly enjoyed it because he has never been a snugly kid. He has gained back some of that independence and is willing to go play outside alone now so that is nice. However, he is often chancing me around asking what I am doing too.

I have four more weeks until summer break. I am so so ready to relax a little. I am just exhausted. Hopefully DD will be sleeping better come August.

 

[MissDoc]

Swimmy, that's all on her and not on you. She sounds a little wacko... you're "selfish" for getting pregnant? That is INSANE. You guys met on a board known for TTC after all, she should be prepared for her friends to get pregnant here. Anywho, yay for excellent betas!

Krissie, that's so sweet that you've gotten some snuggles from him.

I keep waffling back and forth between getting those twinges of baby crazy-ness and feeling like oh crap, what are we thinking, we're not ready for another baby! I cycle through these feelings at least 1749 times per day. Lol. I'm getting whiplash from going back and forth emotionally so much! Haha!

 

[krissie328]

MissDoc- I was the same way. I felt so crazy some days by how fast my emotions changed.

 

[swimmyj1]

missdoc - i totally get what you mean lol. heck there are times that im like omg what did we do we aren't ready for a second baby yet! i have soooo many projects i need to get done. But then at the same time im super excited.

I can't seem to get my emotions under control the last few days. i've been soooo crabby lol. Everyone annoys me. Hoping its just from lack of sleep and not something that will last all pregnancy lol

 

[krissie328]

How were you with your daughter?

I was mean with both my pregnancies. I also tended to lose my filter and even once told off my previous principal during an IEP meeting. My last pregnancy I asked a teacher how he got a master's degree because he was an idiot.. darn guy laughed like I was joking. I'm normally really nice and bend over backwards to help my teachers but pregnancy let's some of my true thoughts escape.

 

[swimmyj1]

Krissie - hahahahaha omg that cracks me up!!! with my daughter I was a crier. Like anything even kind of sad I was a hot mess. One time I even cried in a patient room when she was mean to me hahaha. Totally not usually me. Can’t believe I have an ultrasound in 6 days. Trying hard not to freak out, I keep having dreams about miscarriages and blight ovums at the scan.

 

[krissie328]

Remember that old boss I told off? Well funny enough my intern this year interviewed with him last week. Apparently he told her it was the longest pregnancy ever.. It really was a long one with my son.

Good luck at your scan. It is so so hard not to worry. Especially with the first scan. I hope everything goes well and you see a healthy little bean growing in there.

My DH's semen analysis came back and he is sterile. It was such a relief and sadness at the same time. I know we are done but part of me doesn't quite want to let go even though I know we don't actually want any more.

 

[swimmyj1]

hey krissie - hahahaha i do remember that! I don't blame you for being sad. knowing that hes sterile just makes it so final. which is hard because you know you can't really change your mind about a 3rd or have a "whoops".


the last 2 days have really sucked i feel like almost anyone i tell about being pregnant isn't happy about it. me and one of my cousins are really close, she lives a few hours away but we are on a book of the month club together and I go up to see her with lizzy pretty often. She is struggling with infertility and I didn't want her hearing through the family grape vine or feeling like I didn't care enough about her to tell her myself. She congratulated me and said she was really happy for me that it didn't take as long of trying as we were worried about. But later that night her husband messaged me and asked me to keep my distance for a while and that they were calling off the camping trip we were all planning on going on in a month. I know shes hurting, but i just really wish she would have told me herself. I sent her one message saying I love her and to please message me if she has any questions about her up coming fertility dr appointment or when shes ready to hang out again, but didn't get a response (I wasn't really expecting one but it stinks).

The next was my mom who i had to fill her in because we are supposed to be going to a beer festival this weekend. She told me i ruined this weekend for her and i'm not even 12 weeks pregnant so its not like i'm "really" pregnant and shouldn't be changing my life for a maybe that will probably end in a miscarriage like mine usually do. I hung up and cried a ton.

I'm starting to feel like this was a bad idea having a second baby. I didn't realize how many friends/family i would lose or make upset. I have an aunt that also has struggled with infertility and has made remarks to me in the past about how she always is so envious of people with more than one child. What if she gets upset at me too? I have a kayaking trip with her in july i'm really looking forward to and i love lizzy and her daughter playing together up north during the summer.

Sorry for the long rant I'm just having a rough go of things today. Do you think i should tell my aunt privately or just tell her when we tell everyone else?

 

[krissie328]

Oh hun I'm sorry your family is reacting so poorly. Especially your mom! That is a really cruel thing to say. I know when I first told my mom she was hesitant to get excited since I'd had two losses but she was supportive.

Just remember this is your life and wanted baby so at the end of the day it doesn't matter if they are upset. I personally don't understand why they should care so much unless there's a significant impact on their life.

As for your aunt... I'd probably message her first. I hope her reaction is better than some of the others.

 

[swimmyj1]

Thanks krissie, it feels better being able to vent here. My dh and I are starting to plan a family camping trip instead. My 6 week ultrasound the babies HR was only 99, my doctor said there is a good chance this could end in a miscarriage I was measuring 5 days 6 weeks. Which is about 1-2 days behind I believe so not a big deal there. I go for a rescan on the 23rd. I’m trying not to worry too much, nothing I can do if it is a miscarriage.

 

[krissie328]

I hope it was just a fluke and the baby hangs on. I'm sorry it was more stressful than reassuring.

 

[MissDoc]

Swimmy really hoping the next visit is better and little babe's heartbeat gets nice and strong. At least it wasn't measuring too far behind. I'm so sorry for your mom's crappy attitude. I get where your cousin is coming from at least, she wasn't unkind to you, she is just struggling. But your mom acted like a jerk for no reason. I also would message your aunt first. And I would even say something like I'm really struggling with whether to tell people or not as it's a delicate thing and some have had some strong negative reactions, and we're not in a place of safety in the pregnancy yet... maybe that will help her to have a softened heart a bit.

I bet the 23rd feels so far away, but I hope those days zoom by. * hugs *

As for me, All is going okay. My baby is one year old today. Holy crap! Seems like I just had him. Feeling proud that I've made it to the one year mark for breastfeeding and will start gradually introducing cow's milk over time now, so that'll be nice to have less pumping pressure.

I should O some time this weekend, so it'll be our first time "trying" again. Eek! I've been doing decently healthwise. Either having maintenance days or deficit days. Starting to ever so slowly lose a little weight. I still have 12.5 lbs to go to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, and I'm losing at a rate of only like a lb or two a month, but at least it's going in the right direction finally.

 

[krissie328]

Aww congrats on your baby turning a year MissDoc. And breastfeeding so long. That is such a great accomplishment. Good luck ttc.

I'm working on losing weight. I finally am feeling really good and am using that positive feeling to get more active. Even if it's getting out into the yard and/or playing with my son it's more than I've been able to do for a year.

 

[swimmyj1]

Missdoc - can't believe he is a year now!!!! where has the time gone. Did you guys do anything fun for his birthday? and you get a huge round pat on the back for making it to a year that isn't always easy. I like your advice I think im gonna tell my aunt that before telling her to hopefully soften the blow a little. as for weight loss you are at least moving in the right direction!! i didn't start losing weight until after lizzy turned one lol great job!!

krissie - do you guys have anything fun planned this summer? I im really exciting to try tent camping/hiking with lizzy

afm - I had a lot of cramping (like strong enough to wake me up) with some bleeding last night, my obgyn had me come in for a follow up scan. I have a sub bleed that looks mostly resolved but they said i might have some more bleeding that would be normal. Babies HR was a nice 129 i cancelled my scan for the 23rd sense this one went well. I feel a lot better knowing why i've been cramping/spotting. On another good note the playroom in my basement is almost done! and i finished painting my kitchen cabinets this weekend. It felt soooo good to get some stuff done.

 

[krissie328]

Swimmy- I'm so happy your scan today went well and was good news re bleeding and baby.

I am hoping to camp this summer too. There is one campground we drove through a couple years ago that I want to try. It's pretty far out of the way so I don't think many people go there. We also go to one of the state parks a couple times through the summer and it had a huge lake we play in and enjoy. I really look forward to that. We tried camping there once but it was too crowded.

I'd love to get into hiking..we have all the stuff but I'm super out of shape, DH hates being outside, and Alice is too small. Maybe someday I'll actually be able to do it. :/

DS also turns 4 this summer so I am hoping to so something fun for that.

 

[Ursaula]

Glad the heartbeat went up Swimmy.

How is everyone doing? I've been having a very hard time. Can't update too much right now.

My question is how much did you guys have done with your nurseties/buying at around 20-25 weeks?

 

[krissie328]

Urs- I had nothing done with my son and with my daughter my mom and sister painted it at about 22 weeks. Nothing else was done though until 33-35 weeks.

With my son we moved at 38 weeks so nothing was done except the crib when he was born.

Things are going good here. I'm feeling like my normal self finally and I'm looking forward to summer. I have 7 days left of work before 9 weeks off. I'm so so ready. I'm hoping to increase my fitness this summer. I'm so out of shape from basically a year of doing nothing physical. So that's my goal. I'm not quite sure how to achieve it but I'm thinking about it.

DD will be 4 months on Friday! She is getting so big. She talks all the time now. I really enjoy this phase.

 

[MissDoc]

Thanks Swimmy and Krissie! We didn't do anything too big for his bday, just had two friends come over for a playdate. Low key but fun. It's so crazy how fast the time passes. He is moving up to the toddler class at daycare, and they sleep in cots instead of cribs, eat at communal tables instead of high chairs, use hard spout sippies (no more bottles), and all those babies drink whole milk. It's been a pain trying to transition my breastfed kiddo to sippies and to whole milk. He's always done a water sippy well, but he will not drink much milk out of a sippy. Right now we're doing half and half breast and whole milk, still warmed, but trying to offer in a sippy at school, but at home he still nurses. He's starting to get the hang of it, but if any of you breastfed into the young toddler phases, please let me know if you have any tips for transitioning!

Health wise, I've had a crappy couple of weeks. I was on a roll, but lost momentum. Tomorrow I am getting back on the train and will try to get a little weight off over the next couple of months.

As for TTC, I think our timing this month missed the mark. My opks were being weird and I think I ovulated earlier than I thought and we probably missed the window entirely. But I'm okay with that as I've been so stressed with my son's transitions that it's nice to have another month to not be thinking about potential other baby.

Urs, I'm sorry you're not doing so well right now. Glad the pregnancy is trucking along though! We waited til around 20ish weeks before we made the big purchases. Around that time we got a crib, then the next month bought a dresser, then the next month a rocker/glider, final month a stroller/carseat. We did one large purchase a month to stretch it out, and started buying small stuff here and there (crib bedding, lamp, white noise machine, etc.). Our nursery was done by 36 weeks.