Giving Hope to all LTTTC for these holiday.. Miracles Happen...

Discussion in 'Long Term Trying To Conceive' started by iwantbebebad, Dec 17, 2009.

  1. iwantbebebad

    iwantbebebad DS 11 - DD 23 Months!

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    Hi precious girls...

    I used to read threads in here alot. Basically, December 18, 2009 will be the one year anniversary of my DH's vasectomy reversal. He had the vasectomy almost 9 years when we got it reversed and I was with him 8 of those. It was such a heart wrenching decision to make that commitment and not know the outcome... Well, he got the surgery 12/18/08 and we were told it takes an average of 24 months to conception. I had not been to the gyn in awhile because he had a vasectomy, but I missed a lot of cycles. I missed the month he was reversed and Jan/Feb 2009. I decided to swing into the doc to get checked out and chose a FS because I wanted help with sperm counts and tests for DH. I got a blood panel done later that spring which confirmed I was annovulatory. For some reason, I didn't produce enough progesterone to ovulate which made my cycles go forever. I cried and cried. We did a s/a for DH with the surgeon who did the surgery in April 2009 (4 months later). They said he had very low count and no motility. I had to drive the sample a couple hours away so we didn't know what was alive in the fresh sample. I arranged for a professional s/a with the FS. We met about the findings of the urologist (low count, no motility) and the FS told me he likely had anti-sperm antibodies since the vasectomy. That meant his body was killing the sperm and rejecting them. We had planned to simply try Clomid to help me ov, but with poor sperm, the FS wanted us to go straight to IVF. I asked for IUI, but he said the sperm more than likely were too weak to penetrate the egg and it was a waste of money. This all happened so quickly I didn't know how to handle it all... Honestly, I don't have the finances to pay for IVF and they don't cover that here in the States. It was very sad. In March, I was so convinced I was pg that I ended up on anxiety meds (not pg :cry:) and at home resting for a week. It is very traumatic to wait 8 years hoping and praying for a chance. Anyhow, I don't have the answers to this, but come April, I had a strange early light cycle. I cried because I thought it would ruin OV for May. We bd'd every day it seemed it May except 3 on CD15, CD16 and CD17. I saw EWCM on CD14 so thought it was over. The FS said estrogen makes EWCM and I had good estrogen so I wouldn't know by that if I ov'd. I took an OPK and got a + on CD15 so got excited and called FS, but was told that didn't guarantee ov either. :cry: So we quit bd'ing for a few days so I could get it together emotionally. FF started my cycle telling me "annovulatory" and I didn't think much of the cycle. Sure enough though, CD17 I got my first red crosshairs. :growlmad: I cried. :cry: We missed bd all three days around ov or suspected ov, the first in probably a while. I cried alot. Until 9dpo. :bfp: :bfp: :bfp:

    I understand that my physical ttc journey was December 18, 2008 to May 21, 2009. My emotional journey started when I fell in love with a man who wanted no more children and who had a vasectomy. We agreed to try "someday" but someday took years. It took me to the moment they wheeled him away with my heart and all our savings! More importantly to the moment he decided he wanted a precious baby with me and followed through with an 8 year promise. I had to stand by with faith for a long time.. And with a 30% chance of conception. His sperm count was understandably low. A near impossibility. And no bd within 48-72 hours of ov. And no ov for a probable 8 out the last 12 cycles. So impossible.

    But it happened. There were no affairs (SIL implied this :growlmad:)... Two days after a tearful conversation with the office that does IVF I felt weird. I tested and only I could see the line... But I saw it. After several bloods betas and anxiety attacks I realized I was going to be a mom to DH's precious baby and that we beat the odds...

    Now two days before the one year emotional anniversary of that surgery, I look down at my big belly and feel the little daughter moving in there and I want to fall on my knees and thank the Lord I got one more chance to do this... I guess I wanted to share this. I was in knots for 8 years and proved the whole world wrong.

    I want you to know in those dark moments to see the flicker of light and follow it with all your strength. No matter how simple or complicated your procedures or medicines, have faith. I know not everyone in the world will end their journey in this way, but I believe most of us will if we believe in our hearts that our bodies can do this...I want to wish you all a happy holiday and some peace from the emotional hell that ttc is... Your stories blessed me for months and gave me hope when my heart was torn out. I want you to have hope....
     
  2. muncho

    muncho Well-Known Member

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    thats really sweet. Thank you !
     
  3. glitterqueen

    glitterqueen Well-Known Member

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    ok so now i can't read anything for tears! what an inspirational story. best wished to you and your family xx
     
  4. Dee7509

    Dee7509 Well-Known Member

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    Beautiful story. Thank you.
     
  5. wanabe22

    wanabe22 x Crystals Mummy x

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    what alovely story hun..all the best with everything! im very early pregnant and i know iv along way to go. its taken 10years plus of NTNP (though i was kinda trying!)and 4cycles of ttc.fertility tests and before we can begin any fertility treatment..im here on my first pregnancy! xx
     
  6. iwantbebebad

    iwantbebebad DS 11 - DD 23 Months!

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    You girls are so lovely! Congrats dear wanabe22! I am so happy for you! Just more proof these miracles happen.. I feel lucky to have had some struggles because I appreciate it so much more than people who fall pg accidentally or really quickly.. They seem to take it for granted that they were so blessed. Even my mom who had 5 kids comments on how I had the most "difficult" time she had ever seen. (In an irritating way) I said NO I HAVEN'T! You should meet people who really have a difficult time! Don't think because you were so lucky that everyone has it like that! IRRITATING! :hugs: :dust:
     
  7. wanabe22

    wanabe22 x Crystals Mummy x

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    thanxu hun!!
    i know how you mean hun...life is cruel sometimes! but we have these miracles now ah and as you say because it wasnt easy we appreciate it so much. im only 4wks 3days and already been for ascan at 4weeks as had very bad pain on one side...they cudnt see alot so they have re booked me in for 6week scan on 29th and are doing bloods to see if hcg is goin up normally...my mum said to me the other day...i can see this pregnancy is going to be aroller coaster just like u ttc and its not going to be easy but you will appreciate bubs so much more!mums they know it all ah! xx
     
  8. readyforbaby

    readyforbaby pregnant with first!

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    Thank you for sharing your story and congrats on your baby girl to be. How special she truly is!
     
  9. FBbaby

    FBbaby ttc our Little Prince

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    What a beautiful story. It means so much to read about 'miracle' conception to help you find some strength to keep hoping and trying. 'Miracle babies' do happen and we should never forget that.

    Wishing you an emotional birth and wonderful moment meeting your little girl.
     
  10. baybeehopes

    baybeehopes ttc#1 26months...

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    aww such a lovely story...fingers crossed 4more of these, good luck every1 x
     
  11. Mrs. Sosa

    Mrs. Sosa Pregnant - 1st Trimester

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    Bodies, we speak to you in Jesus' name; You will come in line and agreement with the Word of God. You will respond to His holy Word. You will function properly and perfectly, the way God inteded you to. Every part, every organ of our reproductive system conforms to the Word and plan of God as we come together in pure, martial love. Body, conceive! Be pregnant. Cooperate with God's plan; perfect ovulation, release of perfect eggs from the ovaries, thorugh the fallopian tubes, penetrated and impregnated, fertilized by healthy sperm. Good solid attachment to uterine wall and nourished and protected for nine months (40 weeks) unharmed and unhindered. Grow to a perfect baby - spirit, soul, and body. Your Word says, Father, that none shall cast their young, nor be barren amount Your people and the number of our days You will fulfill. This pregnancy will be fulfilled. We decree it in Jesus' name and receive God's best; we won't settle for anything less in Jesus' holy name. Thank You, Lord, that it is so and done to Your honor and Glory. Amen.
     
  12. mrshuse8pound

    mrshuse8pound Well-Known Member

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    Very inspirational! Thanks for sharing!
     
  13. cazd

    cazd Guest

    Sarah - you're a STAR and definitely my inspiration!!!

    xxxxx
     
  14. bek74

    bek74 Mum of 5

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    What a beautiful story :hugs: thankyou for sharing :hugs:
     
  15. pasteljay

    pasteljay Well-Known Member

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    That brought a tear to my eye.......hoping 2010 will be the year for me and all the other lttc ladies!!!!

    Lovely story xx
     
  16. iwantbebebad

    iwantbebebad DS 11 - DD 23 Months!

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    Happy New Years special girlies! Here is to your miracles and your moments... And for those who have their new bfps, a blessing for your LO's safety as well as yours.. And happiness for all... :hugs:
     
  17. obe

    obe Well-Known Member

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    Hi Iwantbebebad,
    You have given me hope!
    My OH had a reversal 20 mths ago. He has children with his ex, I dont have any. After a year of trying we went back to the docs who told us he only has 7% motility and IVF/ICSI is our best chance. So here we are, waiting for our turn. After a tearful year im hoping 2010 will bring us some luck and let us have a chance.
    Im so glad it worked out for you, FX we get a happy ending too xx
     
  18. iwantbebebad

    iwantbebebad DS 11 - DD 23 Months!

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    Dearest Obe.. My situation was similar as you read. DH had no motility minutes after the sample was taken and the FS said he had anti sperm antibodies that would prevent the sperm from penetrating or reaching the egg. It is very emotional and I fully expected the 24 month average for myself. Just remember, they say the average is 24 months so some will take longer and some shorter. Don't ever lose faith and if ICSI is a good choice for you, I pray you will be blessed. The FS sent us to IVF/ICSI due to the motility and anitbodies. It did break my heart, especially when I called for pricing and the tag was $37,000. Nothing is covered here in the states. Then the FS was a jerk and said "You are young, save your money and in five years you can try again." FS or not, I have a feeling he just bd'd and had plenty of kids with no problems. I think it is really important to take joy in the steps forward like your nurse consult on your sig. Every appointment is a step closer to a perfect tiny LO. It is a good feeling pursuing your dreams like that. On the dark days when you feel tearful, it is ok to cry and feel hopeless. It is temporary. I believe the advanced procedures today are so successful from the friends that have talked to me about it. I hope this means a speedy bfp for you this 2010. PM me if you ever want to chat. I would love to! Bless you and your family.. :hugs:
    PS How long did your DH have a vasectomy? Mine had his almost 9 years...
     
  19. obe

    obe Well-Known Member

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    Hi Wantbebebad,
    Thank you very much for your kind words, I am staying positive and keeping all fingers and toes crossed that we get our BFP soon!!!
    He had his vasectomy about 6 years ago, they decided they didnt want anymore children at the time. Because he has children already means we get no help from the NHS, we have to self fund. Not trying to think about our first go not working, as I dont think we will be able to afford another try.
    I just cant wait to move forward and get things moving!
    xx
     
  20. iwantbebebad

    iwantbebebad DS 11 - DD 23 Months!

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    Obe, don't worry about past the first try... I would put your heart into that and focus on good results... I know the "happy go lucky" stuff is put out there but it is really difficult to not pay attention when you have devoted your whole life to something. It only takes one tiny sperm that gets away and finds strength.. Fortunately, I believe humans are brilliantly created and the strength to continue humanity is unbelievably strong... Strength for your journey and a blessed outcome.. :hugs:
     

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