Going back to work group??

Bec L

Proud mum to 2 girls/1boy
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Not sure if this group will take off but I wondered if there are many of you out there who are not back at work yet but will be going back at some stage? Specifically those of you who, like me, are really, really worried/anxious about going back and are only doing so for financial reason....Could do with some support!:blush:

I know there are a lot of mum's who look forward to going back, and enjoy the time they spend at work but I am not one of them, and I am really stressing about going back. Will not be till Sept at the earliest, and will be 3 days max but it makes me feel sick thinking about it.

Anyone out there in the same boat???:cry:
 
:cry::cry::cry::cry:
I was nearly sick last night writing out my notice to return! I'm not hoping to go back on 3rd August! :cry:
We just cant survive without any ££ coming in for the last 3 months. AJ will be 8 months. And I really dont want to go back (did I say that already?? :rofl:)
I'm going back part time and need to meet with boss to arrange days/hrs etc.
I'm lucky I dont have to send AJ to any nursey/childminder, his big sister is a registered childminder so he will go to her when needed.

I feel your pain Bec :hugs:, we only just decided I'm going back last night! :hissy:
 
I'll be going back full time in the middle of August while hubby stays at home with Alyssa. I'm dreading going back, although I'm happy we don't have to worry about childcare.
 
I'm not quite in the same boat, sweetie, but I can definitely relate. I really love my job and am not stressed about going back to it. What I am stressed about is deciding about childcare, going back part or full time, and trying to make the right decision for this baby and for the baby #2 that we plan to TTC in the new year. So I'll tell you what I am in the process of doing to help me make decisions and maybe it might be useful to you?
I am reading this book called Your Money or Your Life. It has all these exercises to do and questions to ask yourself to help yourself see exactly how much money you actually need to do what you really want to do. I think that going through that process is going to help me make some decisions about my return to work. We tend to think of our pay cheques as gross sums of money, and we always forget to subtract all the costs of actually going to work. For example, take your pay cheque and subtract the cost of childcare for that pay period. Then subtract all the other costs assosciated with childcare (work out mileage for dropping off and picking up baby, time involved with childcare duties, etc.).
As for your work, do you have to maintain a professional wardrobe for your job? How much does that cost (cost of clothes, cost of time and transportation for shopping, etc.)
And so on.
By the time you finish brainstorming, you might realize that your job is barely bringing home enough to cover all those costs and that you are not only following your heart by staying home with your child, but you are also making the smarter financial decision.
I'm also about to do a huge overhaul of our budget: tracking our spending, figuring out to the nickel where our cash is going and seeing if I can find places to cut back. I don't want to live on a bare bones budget, but I want to know if we have some bad habits that I can work on which would free up money. Then maybe I can work less?
I also am weighing the pros of going back to work: I will then be eligible for another year of EI for my mat leave, we'll have money for RESPs and RRSP savings (Canadian version of education and retirement savings plans), I'll be keeping one toe in my career, etc.
Lots to think about.
Meanwhile, don't let that stress ruin one minute of this precious time you do have at home with baby.

Another thing, if it's your work that is stressing you out, could you find something else comparable? A girlfriend of mine has all the education and training in the world for a job in soil reclamation. She hated the job. She worked out exactly what she needed to replace her EI income and went to work managing a coffee shop. She loves it. It's easy, it's pleasant, it's made her eligible for EI again with her second baby on the way, and she never ever brings work or office politics home with her. Smart lady, I think.
Would such a thing work for you?
 
i went back last week. id have preferred to pop out my left eye and slowly boil it whilst attatched than go back...
 
i went back last week. id have preferred to pop out my left eye and slowly boil it whilst attatched than go back...

Was it as awful going back as you imagined it to be??
 
Thanks for your responses girls, it helps to know I'm not alone on this. I hear so many mums saying how much they look forward to the time they go back to work and I just can't relate to it at all. I went into work for an hour yesterday (with Poppy) and spent the whole afternoon when I got home in tears. I am so lucky that my parents will look after Poppy so that is one good thing, but it should be ME looking after her!!!

Sarahkka - thanks so much for your detailed reply. My husband as been trying to look at every which way that we can juggle things so I don't go back but we are just a bit short without my wage. I actually really enjoy my job and the people I work with, and it pays well so it is not the job per se. If I could take Poppy in with me each day I wouldn't have a problem :blush:

Maybe we could use this thread to support each other and share our concerns? I'm sure it'd help xx
 
im going back to work on Tuesday , My littl girl is 5 weeks old ,my oh works full time 5am till 1pm and ill be working 7am till 1 pm 3 days a week, we really need the money as we still live with his parents and need to find our feet, the ob im takin is only round the courner, literlly 2 min walk, my MIL will be looking after Adrhianna, but the day is coming closer and im feeling sick , i really dont want to leave her but in away i need to get the extra money , leavin her in the morning and her getting use to my mil in not wat i want :(
 
i'm going back 22nd june. i'm so so so not loking forward to it :cry: am only doing 19 1/4 hours over 3 days and my mum's having her. in a way tho, i'm looking forward to being me for a few hours a week!! i'm lucky tho, i knw i'm only gona be back about 3 months...will be so much harder going back after #2 tho!!
 
I am trying to look at my return to work as a temporary arrangement between babies! If we do manage to have a baby #2 late 2010/early 2011, then the cash I bring in and the hours I log will really help us out for the following year(s).
From my initial calculations, it looks like staying home is the only financial possiblity once two babes are involved. Childcare is so costly that it just about cancels out the paycheque. And that's if all you consider is the financial aspect.
 
I am meeting up with my boss tomorrow to discuss going back. :cry:
Not happy at all!!
 
Hope it goes well and you get the hours you 'want.' My situation is still unresolved which is annoying but part of me wants to bury my head in the sand for a few more weeks and pretentd it's not happening.:dohh:
 
Yesterday I began inquiring into childcare possibilities for Simon. At the moment, this is just to get information to help me make my decision about going back, but it still feels quite emotional. Yikes! what's it going to be like when it's for real? :(
 
hello all thought id pop in im not going back to the job i had b4 zane but i have found a job in a sports shop and i got it but i havent started yet its such a pain i got the job weeks ago
 
Okay, one of the childcare prospects is really really affordable.
Oh.
I think I had sort of convinced myself that it would be so expensive there would be no point going back full-time. If this option checks out, that may not be the case.
Hmmm.
How do I feel about this?
I'm glad to know that I can go back and earn good money for (hopefully) another baby year, but this means that someone else is potentially going to be there when Simon says his first words, takes his first steps, etc.
Can't.type.
Crying.hysterically.
:hissy::hissy::hissy::hissy::hissy:
 
I am going back to work in Sept... Jasmine will only be 10 months, but me being a SAHM is just not financially feasible! I dont know how people do it tbh...

We are TTC next month, so I will hopefully only be back at work for 7-8 months... wont be so bad.

As much as I'd love to stay home with Jasmine, I cant justify not working and not being able to afford the things we need. I hate when people make others feel guilty saying things like, well I dont want someone else to raise my child... or well we are surviving on such and such amount of moeny...

It really is a huge pet peeve.
 
I am going back to work in Sept... Jasmine will only be 10 months, but me being a SAHM is just not financially feasible! I dont know how people do it tbh...

We are TTC next month, so I will hopefully only be back at work for 7-8 months... wont be so bad.

As much as I'd love to stay home with Jasmine, I cant justify not working and not being able to afford the things we need. I hate when people make others feel guilty saying things like, well I dont want someone else to raise my child... or well we are surviving on such and such amount of moeny...

It really is a huge pet peeve.

I know. I have a girlfriend who is very passionate about staying home with baby and there are times I find it kind of offensive. Going back to work doesn't make you a bad mother. It's just ridiculous to even imply that. And putting your whole family on a skinny little shoestring of a budget that doesn't make ends meet isn't necessarily a responsible choice, either.
For us Canadians, there's also the EI hours to consider. EI can make the difference between a relaxed baby year where you can take some real family time together and one that is very stressed because you can't afford rent or groceries. It's not tons of money but it's significant.
We could live off my husband's salary, but we would not be enjoying all the outings and trips that we did this year. Nor would we be able to put much by for RESPs or RRSPs or anything else. Financials aren't everything, but they are a very serious consideration in the stay home question.
 
I will be going back full time in July. Helena will be 9 months. I worry about weaning, etc but gotta do what we gotta do ladies. :(
 

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