I'm not quite in the same boat, sweetie, but I can definitely relate. I really love my job and am not stressed about going back to it. What I am stressed about is deciding about childcare, going back part or full time, and trying to make the right decision for this baby and for the baby #2 that we plan to TTC in the new year. So I'll tell you what I am in the process of doing to help me make decisions and maybe it might be useful to you?
I am reading this book called Your Money or Your Life. It has all these exercises to do and questions to ask yourself to help yourself see exactly how much money you actually need to do what you really want to do. I think that going through that process is going to help me make some decisions about my return to work. We tend to think of our pay cheques as gross sums of money, and we always forget to subtract all the costs of actually going to work. For example, take your pay cheque and subtract the cost of childcare for that pay period. Then subtract all the other costs assosciated with childcare (work out mileage for dropping off and picking up baby, time involved with childcare duties, etc.).
As for your work, do you have to maintain a professional wardrobe for your job? How much does that cost (cost of clothes, cost of time and transportation for shopping, etc.)
And so on.
By the time you finish brainstorming, you might realize that your job is barely bringing home enough to cover all those costs and that you are not only following your heart by staying home with your child, but you are also making the smarter financial decision.
I'm also about to do a huge overhaul of our budget: tracking our spending, figuring out to the nickel where our cash is going and seeing if I can find places to cut back. I don't want to live on a bare bones budget, but I want to know if we have some bad habits that I can work on which would free up money. Then maybe I can work less?
I also am weighing the pros of going back to work: I will then be eligible for another year of EI for my mat leave, we'll have money for RESPs and RRSP savings (Canadian version of education and retirement savings plans), I'll be keeping one toe in my career, etc.
Lots to think about.
Meanwhile, don't let that stress ruin one minute of this precious time you do have at home with baby.
Another thing, if it's your work that is stressing you out, could you find something else comparable? A girlfriend of mine has all the education and training in the world for a job in soil reclamation. She hated the job. She worked out exactly what she needed to replace her EI income and went to work managing a coffee shop. She loves it. It's easy, it's pleasant, it's made her eligible for EI again with her second baby on the way, and she never ever brings work or office politics home with her. Smart lady, I think.
Would such a thing work for you?