Good answers to tricky questions anyone?

[redhead31]

Ok girls, we have all been there when you've been at a party or bumped into someone and they have said 'haven't you got any kids?' or 'don't you want to have children?'. This weekend I was asked that question and got out of it by pointing at DH and saying 'He is enough of a kid - why would I want two of them' as the last thing you want to do is say to someone with two kids around her ankles is 'well I've been trying for nearly two years and actually I'm starting to think I'm infertile and I would love nothing more than to be in your position you insensitive, thoughtless woman'. So, to give me some inspiration before I go to see my family at the weekend (three cousins - all of them grandmothers - yes, grandmothers! and twelve second cousins - six of them with at least two kids and three pregnant) has anyone got any good lines they use to get them out of answering those tricky questions?

 

[debgreasby]

I just wink and say "we're working on it!"

 

[padbrat]

I know exactly how you feel redhead, it is really crappy isn't it?

I just laugh and say a hubby and dog is enough for me and pray they start talking about the dog LOL

 

[kanga]

I can't believe people say that, its so rude. I personally would just rasie my eyebrows and make them feel bad for asking!

 

[HappyAuntie]

For me, the answer to that has always depended on how well I know the person asking and what kind of a mood I'm in.

Sometimes I'm pretty blunt in my answer because WANT the asker to feel uncomfortable - I tell them that if you're not God and you're not my husband, it's none of your damned business. Maybe they'll remember my answer next time they think of asking someone else the same question and realize this is not an appropriate topic for small talk, and that by asking, they may be causing great pain to the person they're asking.

If I'm in a more forgiving mood, I go ahead and tell them of our losses. Usually that makes them uncomfortable anyway, but again, that can be a good thing for the next unlucky lady who comes along.

 

[lovehearts]

i had an comment similar to this today. Someone overheard my conversation and said 'oh your not pregnant are you!' i though how rude! and i said well no actually i just MC. they didnt know what to say (of corse they said sorry) last time they will be asking that question!!!

Im lucky i dont get asked often as i am 22 and people assume i am far to young to be wanting kids! if i mention it they tell me i have loads of time for all of that!!! which also annoys me as how would they know what i want..

ok rant over lol.
xx

 

[KatyKat]

Ooooh, I HATE those questions! I don't want to tell anyone we're trying as we feel under more than enough pressure as it is after the mc's without other people knowing we're actively trying (I'd never hear then end of it).

I usually laugh it off and say things like 'we've hardly been married for two minutes, give us a chance!' or 'god no, there's way too much other stuff I want to do first'. Secretly though, I'd love to hiss 'because I've already suffered two miscarriages, but thank you for bringing my childless status to my attention' at them, and then watch their reactions

So far I've managed to restrain my more evil urges....................

 

[padbrat]

Sometimes I wanna give in to my evil urges and hiss just the same thing to them...

Like do you have any idea what it is like to miscarry? GRRRRR annoys me...

I get asked it all the time because I am older and have been married for ages (10 years) LOL

 

[heart tree]

I struggle with this one all the time. I don't have this problem with family, they all know what I'm going through. But I do encounter it with friends of friends, clients, and strangers. Usually I just answer "not yet." They can infer from that whatever they want. Sometimes I do actually tell them I've had some losses, depending on the situation. I think it is important for people to understand that a mc isn't something to be ashamed of and that they happen. Good luck!

 

[Missi]

About a year ago, a friend (who already had 1 child) asked if I was thinking of starting a family. Fair comment. I wasn't offended, but really wanted to TTC at the time. I politely said that we were planning on a family in the future, just not yet. She seemed satisfied with the answer. I then asked her if she would be having anymore and she burst into tears.

Whenever I am asked a difficult question now I make sure that I reverse it to see their reaction. It usually works well and they don't ask again - especially if they are an older woman If they can dish it out, they should be able to take it themselves!

 

[LeaArr]

I was asked a question like that a few days after my second miscarriage by a lady that works in my office in a different department. I told her flat out that I had just miscarried. She had a shocked look on her face. No one has asked me since. I am pretty open and honest about everything, not usually so blunt though.

 

[BizyBee]

For a while I told people I was waiting to be tenured at work (I'm a teacher). Now that I am tenured, I have no more excuses. I often say "we have things to get done on the house first" or pretend that I am perfectly happy with just the two of us. It's akward and I hate being confronted. Thankfully, my family members have stopped asking now that my cousin is getting married. They have other things to focus on.

 

[puppymom32]

I get that all the time. If it is someone close then I just tell them hey I have one tube and 6 losses. They tend to feel bad and leave me alone. Otherwise I like you play it off on already having a big baby and a puppy and cant take on much more than them.

 

[Tesharika]

If someone asks me if I have children I don't feel right answering no, so I just tell them the truth that I Did have a child.