Grandparent wants to take DD on holiday.... Not sure to let her go... Advice please

[MikaylasMummy]

It sounds like you don't 100% trust your mum to be as careful with her as you are.so no I wouldn't if I were you.
However if my mum,dad or inlaws asked I wouldn't hesitate as I know every one of them are very (far more than myself) cautious with everything around the kids.your guy feeling is no so stick with that.especially if you think she won't get fair treatment.that would make me feel sad

 

[HPmum2B]

I would let my DD go with my mum at 3-4 years, but not if she was like your mum! lol.
DD and my mum have a fab relationship and she sees a lot of her.
I would not let my in-laws take my kids until they are old enough to fend for themselves... so like 35. lol.

 

[Mummy Bean]

My mum taking Parker away for a week over Easter, as were moving into a building site so would be good for him to get away from it all. But he often stays with them over night and trust her 100% to care for him how I would.

But as some one else said if your having any doubts then I wouldnt

 

[phoenix333]

With my Mum & Dad and the inlaws I would but I trust them implicitly. After all they raised kids themselves that turned out OK! But if it were your situation where you clearly have concerns I probably wouldn't.

 

[ericacaca]

With my parents yes! They took me and my brother away when we were that age and we were safe and always came home in one piece xxx

 

[Eleanor ace]

In your position no, I wouldn't. Your mother may be cross but it is your decission, you are LO's mother so what you say goes. Also I'm sorry she said that she loves your DD more than you, what an unneccesary and shitty thing to say!

 

[leiaorgana1]

I agree with some of the previous posters: with my mil (mum not an option) yes absolutely. I can't stand the woman but she cares for our son excellently. He was just over 16 months when he first went for a whole week. But there lies the whole point: I am - and DH is - secure in the care our son gets there.
You obviously are not comfortable and you'll be less so with a new baby. I think you're very right to refuse the holiday and keep your dd at home. Your mum should be able to understand it's not a reflection on her (she raised you after all) just that it is a bad timing and there will be plenty of options once your girl is a bit older.

 

[sethsmummy]

nope i wouldnt let her go. DS1 is 4 now and i wont let anyone take him.. my sister has been asking me for a long time whether she can have him for a night but the answer will always be no. And there is no way ill be ready to let either of my children go for 4 nights away from me. Not until they are a bit older.. (DS1 has special needs which is a lot of the reasoning). I dont have a car either so that also has an impact as i need to know i can get to them at the drop of a hat if anything were to happen.

 

[Pielette]

Like others have said, in your situation I'd say hell no. You've listed several things that would make me uncomfortable with it; your mum seems unable to control any situations that arise between your DD and your niece, she also seems to either invent problems where there are none and she also seems to think she is another parent to your DD. She's not, she is the grandparent. She needs to respect that.

I'd be putting my foot down. Plus the fact that it's longer than you grudgingly agreed to in the first place. Neither you nor your OH are happy with it. Both parents aren't happy so therefore it definitely does not happen in my book.

 

[Mrs HM]

Personally, I wouldn't let anyone take my DS away on holiday without me or DH. My mum has asked in a jokey way and I've told her no and my MIL asks all the time to have him for the weekend but that's never going to happen either as she can't be trusted to look after him. I'm just not comfortable with the idea of him being elsewhere at nighttime and would only do it if it was necessary and not for a holiday.

 

[PepsiChic]

I wouldnt, just I dont feel comfortable with them being away for so long, especially at a strange place at such a young age. 4 IS young. Im going away to another state on business next month and Ive even managed to work out a way to take both the boys because I simply am not happy leaving them with someone else for those 4 days.

your mum doesnt sound confident with her either, that would freak me out, I think Id spend the entire time having a nervous breakdown of "what ifs" is it possible you could go to?

 

[wookie130]

Personally, I find a lot to be wrong in this particular case, so, I'd say no, it wouldn't be a great idea to send your daughter with your mom on this trip.

First and foremost, you're uncomfortable, and questioning it. This tells me that this may cause more anxiety for you while she's gone than what it's worth, and it's a gut instinct. As a mom, you need to trust your gut.

Secondly, it sounds like she has little control over things when she does have your daughter. I don't know how she plans on handling 2 young kids, if she has so much trouble dealing with one...it sounds chaotic at best.

Thirdly, what the hell with that "I love her more than you" statement??? What does this mean? I would need some clarification on this one, as that comment is simultaneously weird and almost hateful in nature. WEIRD.

Fourthly, why would she plan this camping trip and not even have your permission ahead of time? And then make you feel guilty about it being paid for, and how she'd have fun, and she had so much planned, and blah blah blah? How about waiting for you, THE MOTHER OF THE CHILD, to okay the thing in the first place? That's not on you. That's on her, for jumping the gun. Again, weird, weird, weird.

I wouldn't let her go, based on what you've described. I mean, it's your decision, and I'm merely offering advice, but...