Grandparents and court? UPDATE PG1

[moomin_troll]

Well today I finally had enough and I've told Zane and Corey's grandmother that I'm done n I'm changing my number I want nothing more to do with her seen as she's hardly bothered with my boys for the past year and half.

She doesn't care enough to take me to court but just incase she try's to make things difficult for me I want to kind of be prepared.

So was wondering if any of u ladies have delt with grandparents taking u to court for visitation?



UPDATE

Well 2 weeks later I told mil via text I was done I got a card with a sentence saying did I want her in our lives?
I wrote her a letter basically saying u don't want u in mine but u can still see the boys thru my mum and it had to be at least every 3 months.

I then recieved a letter off fil, basically again making out they did nothing wrong and after his ridicules letter nt making any sense said they wouldnt see the boys thru my mum.

I was so angry but u have taken my time (afew days) and I will be sending them my response today. I'm really happy with my letter, I'm not horrible, I make my points and then end it with my mums offer is still open so it's up to them.

Can't believe they could just say yeah our 25 yr old son was killed but we are going to ignore his children....nice

 

[laura1991]

They wont get anywhere! If they get anything it will be a couple of hours once a month x

 

[moomin_troll]

I didn't think they would get much anyway but wasn't sure.
They haven't even seen the boys for 7 months and only saw Zane twice in the past year and half.
Her going new York instead of seeing my boys was the final straw

 

[teal]

There was something on the tv a while ago about they don't have rights and have to apply for the right to apply to courts for access. I think they would have to prove that they have a relationship with the children but if they've not bothered then I wouldn't worry I know easier said than done at times xx

 

[moomin_troll]

There was something on the tv a while ago about they don't have rights and have to apply for the right to apply to courts for access. I think they would have to prove that they have a relationship with the children but if they've not bothered then I wouldn't worry I know easier said than done at times xx

Yeah I'm not to worried I just can't believe I finally got the balls to say what I think of her, well at least some of what I think and I hope I've ruined her trip lol

Zane wouldnt no her if he saw her in the street and I'm pretty sure she wouldn't spot him either as for Corey she hasn't bothered with him since he was 2 weeks old.

I had a text off my sil who I said I still wanted her in my boys life with her saying my mum will be heart broken about this, and she's been ill since T my oh died.....my reply was she can't be that ill because she's had one holiday and now this trip to new York and yet only seen Zane twice.

I didn't get a response so doubt she has anything valid to say because I'm right lol

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

they have to apply for rights first hun & then they can go through court again for access well done for finally telling them to do one! X x

 

[moomin_troll]

Thanks ladies

Even tho I'm happy I don't have to talk to her again I feel sad. It really is a shame how people can be so cold towards their own grandchildren.
If she then tries to see the boys she will have to talk to my mum n see the boys at my mums house as I'm having nothing to do with her n it will have to be attest once every 2 months at least.
Bt I doubt she will fight me, she will just make out to her friends that I'm evil

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

it is a shamee but, it's definitely for the best when grown people are acting that immature xx

 

[kelzyboo]

This is so sad, i would have thought she'd want to keep that connection to her Son's children?
Do you think she finds it difficult to see them because of her loss? Or is it really that she just can't be bothered to?

Seems a shame but if thats how she is i don't blame you for having had enough of it, they should be high on her list of priorities x

 

[moomin_troll]

The day after T died they came to our house, they had already made Plans to visit us in Germany, They ignored Zane. And even before that she wasn't very nice to him so I really think she just doesn't care.
It's also little things like she said to my oh she'd buy all zanes shoes, since he died she hasnt helped at all

 

[Lemonflower]

I think grandparents can only apply for visitation rights if they have lived with the child for 3 years. UK.

It is really sad that she's cold with her son's children!

xxx

 

[moomin_troll]

My mum was really close with my oh n mil was jealous of that n spoke to my mum like crap at the funeral and also wouldn't let her stay at her house.

So if mil is serious at seeing my boys she can make the effort to see them at least every 12 weeks and has to do it at my mums house to prove it....my mums said no way in hell will mil make that sort of commitment to see them tho

She's missing out on two great boys which makes me sad, especially since Zane looks so much like his dad

I'm glad that if they want to try and threaten me with court I no its not going to be easy

 

[TattiesMum]

I think grandparents can only apply for visitation rights if they have lived with the child for 3 years. UK.

It is really sad that she's cold with her son's children!

xxx

It's not quite that brutal

It's a two step process where they have to first apply for permission to even file an access case.

IF that is approved (which it rarely is) then they can apply again, but this time for access itself.

They have to prove that they have been a constant part of the child's life - not living with them but seeing them regularly and - most importantly - that they have a relationship with the child that is close and in the child's best interests to carry on with. If they can't do that at the first application then they usually won't get permission to apply.

As always with Family Court it is all about the children, so if permission to apply is granted and it then goes to Court, Cafcass etc will be involved to determine what is in the child's best interests.

In some ways, as a Grandparent, I find the thought that I could be cut out of my Grandbabies lives at any moment and not be able to do anything about it devastating But on the other hand I'm profoundly grateful that the current laws mean Kaylum's FOB's Mother will never be able to draw him into her warped world

 

[moomin_troll]

Believe me I've not done this to be nasty and would never of stopped contact if they actually bothered with my boys.

I spoke to zanes counsellor about it the other day and she said its so harmful to Zane right now to have someone turn up for afew hours n then no contact with him for months on end. He's scared of losing people as it is so for him to see someone n then have to get to no them all over again is so hard on him.

With all the vile things that woman has done to me she is lucky I let her near my boys in the first place but I thought maybe losing her son would open her eyes, obviously it hasn't because i don't no any grandparent who cares would go 7 months without seeing their grandchildren

 

[Snowball]

How awful of them to pile this stress on you

 

[TattiesMum]

Believe me I've not done this to be nasty and would never of stopped contact if they actually bothered with my boys.

I spoke to zanes counsellor about it the other day and she said its so harmful to Zane right now to have someone turn up for afew hours n then no contact with him for months on end. He's scared of losing people as it is so for him to see someone n then have to get to no them all over again is so hard on him.

With all the vile things that woman has done to me she is lucky I let her near my boys in the first place but I thought maybe losing her son would open her eyes, obviously it hasn't because i don't no any grandparent who cares would go 7 months without seeing their grandchildren

Oh Hon

I didn't mean that you were doing this to be nasty - I know you would never do that And I think Zane's counsellor is 100% right - it's not good for children to have people randomly popping up who overload them with emotion and then vanish again for months on end

It's so sad that she doesn't take an interest in either of the boys You would think that it would be the opposite wouldn't you?

I cut off all of my ex's family when I split from him ... they were all in denial about him being a paedophile, so there was no way I could let the kids have anything other than supervised contact with them and they weren't prepared to see me

I do wonder about MILs who behave so badly to their DILs as well - don't they realise that if the relationship between their DS and DIL breaks down then having a good relationship with the DIL is the only way they are going to see their Grandbabies?

 

[moomin_troll]

Oh I no u werent suggesting I was being nasty.
She makes out to everyone she knows how much she loves my boys but they don't no her n she doesn't bother, her going new York was the last straw for me....n when I told her how upset I was she was like well I might come down next month, no chance of that now bitch.

She wouldn't no Corey if she saw him in the street and shed only no who Zane is because he is a mini Thomas, but even then I think she'd struggle.

I haven't changed my number yet and I've had zero contact from any of them do it's not even like they want to fight me.

My mums said if I had died shed of fought Thomas to see my boys if she had to, but they were close so she wouldn't of needed to.

Oh the joys of families, I'm never having another mil again hahah

 

[TattiesMum]

I know what your Mum means - I'd fight tooth and nail to stay close with my Grandchildren ... they mean the world to me and I just don't understand people like your MIL

 

[moomin_troll]

Well it's official my mil is mental! She text me this morning saying hi k how ru and the boys.....
Does she seriously think I'm going to reply to her after I told her I'm done, bloody idiot.
Still can't change my number yet because I'm now waiting for the docs to call me