GREEN with envy, so much jealousy? How do you cope when WTT

[brunette&bubs]

So I can deal with friends being pregnant but my SIL is pregnant and it seems to be all my in laws talk about

We are going to CO next weekend for her baby shower and we were actually forced to go out on my sons birthday instead of waiting one day because they said they wouldn't wait for us to give us a ride to the mountains.

So not only is a babyshower making my sons bday nonexistant I am incredibly jealous!

She's always saying "Oh, goin to prenatal yoga now" "Baby girl is kicking right now" etc. etc.

I am SO freakin jealous!!!!!


How do you cope

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Eek, I don't think I could cope very well with that. I'm sorry that's going on for you... Although she's not trying to be harsh and is super excited for her own LO it's not very nice that it made complications for your DS's birthday..

I avoid people, I don't handle jealously too well when it comes to babies

 

[brunette&bubs]

Thanks!

I know it isn't intentional at all.
It just bothers me that she chose that weekend to do her shower.
Why not the next? I dont know.

I know she is excited and has every right to shout it from the roof tops
its just my selfish reasons that I'm jealous that i don't want to hear it.

I generally avoid pregnant people too but this is family...I CANT ESCAPE

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Thanks!

I know it isn't intentional at all.
It just bothers me that she chose that weekend to do her shower.
Why not the next? I dont know.

I know she is excited and has every right to shout it from the roof tops
its just my selfish reasons that I'm jealous that i don't want to hear it.

I generally avoid pregnant people too but this is family...I CANT ESCAPE

Well, maybe there were complications with another weekend. I say throw DS a surprise party the next weekend or something if he gets down about his being busy for the shower. I don't blame you for being jealous, I would go stir crazy if my SIL got pregnant anytime soon. My birth father and his wife are TTC and I'm having a hard time accepting just the fact that they're trying.

 

[brunette&bubs]

Oh geez! Well not much longer now! Just til May, right? I'm sure things will happen so quick for you!

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Thanks! I sure hope so. We're waiting for the honeymoon and a few weeks ago OH pointed out he wants us to be more financially stable so I felt that meant longer but he was a little disappointed when my AF showed up 6 days late sooo it's a little on the fence. It's still set for May but it's possible it might change, fingers crossed it wont though!

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I'm okay ATM, as we only made the decision to start trying last month so I haven't been waiting long, and won't be waiting long, but I imagine if it takes a long time to TTC I will end up green ! Lol once you start thinking baby they pop up everywhere ! Lol

 

[oceania]

Ahhh that would be sooo hard. My SIL is a year younger than me and my brother and her have indicated that they wont be TTCing any time soon...It would be such a shock to my system if they were! Selfishly I want to be the first to get pregnant and to give my parents their first grandchild...My mom always claimed me and my brother got the most attention and love cause we were the first ones on both sides of the family...

 

[angiepie]

To be honest, I don't have an answer. I don't cope. You've just gotta keep on chugging. And enjoy the DS you already have. I would love to be in your position to already have a child to keep me occupied. Alas, I'm WTT number 1 and it makes it that much harder when everyone keeps having accidental BFPs.

 

[ladybrixton]

I can understand your jealousy and what a shame you have to travel on your son's birthday. Do they know you well enough to know that's when his birthday is? If so then I do find it very rude that they held their shower that weekend. My son's first birthday is coming up in March and I'm already planning how we're going to spend the day and make it special. I'm sorry you don't get to do the same!! It's sounds as though your sister-in-law might have become so wrapped up in her own special news and celebrations that she has forgotten that other people have special moments to celebrate as well.

Personally I am not finding that I am getting too jealous of other people yet. I've been ready for another since my little boy was a few months old and around that time two close friends announced they were pregnant. We went on holiday with both couples in the summer and seeing their mini-bumps made me a bit jealous. As they grew I found I was getting a bit more jealous, but it never got too bad. They've both just had their babies and cuddling their newborns I was surprised I didn't feel too jealous then either. It helps that my little boy is going through so many fun changes at the moment and he is keeping me so busy. My sister-in-law is pregnant with their second and due in May. I'm less jealous of her than I was of my friends. I'm so happy for them, so happy that my little boy will have yet another boy cousin to play with. There are now three little boys all born almost exactly a year apart and I think they'll have the most fun!

As for being the first grandchild, I wouldn't worry too much about it. My son is the first grandchild for my husband's parents and the second for mine. I have seen no difference in how he is treated by either set of grandparents and also seen no difference in how he and my nephew (who was the first on our side) are treated. They have been spoilt and adored in equal measure. I wouldn't worry too much about it!

x

 

[brunette&bubs]

To be honest, I don't have an answer. I don't cope. You've just gotta keep on chugging. And enjoy the DS you already have. I would love to be in your position to already have a child to keep me occupied. Alas, I'm WTT number 1 and it makes it that much harder when everyone keeps having accidental BFPs.

I know I am lucky to already have one. It gets harder now that he is turning 2. Is no longer a baby...more like a kid. I should just be happy right now.

I can understand your jealousy and what a shame you have to travel on your son's birthday. Do they know you well enough to know that's when his birthday is? If so then I do find it very rude that they held their shower that weekend. My son's first birthday is coming up in March and I'm already planning how we're going to spend the day and make it special. I'm sorry you don't get to do the same!! It's sounds as though your sister-in-law might have become so wrapped up in her own special news and celebrations that she has forgotten that other people have special moments to celebrate as well.

Personally I am not finding that I am getting too jealous of other people yet. I've been ready for another since my little boy was a few months old and around that time two close friends announced they were pregnant. We went on holiday with both couples in the summer and seeing their mini-bumps made me a bit jealous. As they grew I found I was getting a bit more jealous, but it never got too bad. They've both just had their babies and cuddling their newborns I was surprised I didn't feel too jealous then either. It helps that my little boy is going through so many fun changes at the moment and he is keeping me so busy. My sister-in-law is pregnant with their second and due in May. I'm less jealous of her than I was of my friends. I'm so happy for them, so happy that my little boy will have yet another boy cousin to play with. There are now three little boys all born almost exactly a year apart and I think they'll have the most fun!

As for being the first grandchild, I wouldn't worry too much about it. My son is the first grandchild for my husband's parents and the second for mine. I have seen no difference in how he is treated by either set of grandparents and also seen no difference in how he and my nephew (who was the first on our side) are treated. They have been spoilt and adored in equal measure. I wouldn't worry too much about it!

x

She definitely knows its his bday. She and my other SIL surprised us last year by coming in town for his 1st bday.

I just feel sad his birthday is totally over shadowed. I will try to make him feel super special anyway. But I feel bad that he has to go on an airplane and do all these car rides on his special day. UGH whatever. TBH, i wouldnt have minded if it was his 1st because they really don't know what is going on. But now he knows its his bday and is very aware

 

[Mimi85]

I can definitely understand this! I have been wanting for a baby for over a year now. For me, pregnant friends are worst than family members. Perhaps because my sisters and OH's sisters are all older and have had their kids a while ago. No one in my family is having anymore kids (as far as I know from what they've told me) and of course my parents and his parents are grandparents x10 already so for me, my close friends getting pregnant hits me hard and I can't help being jealous, but again, Im one of the last ones left without kids now, not long hopefully!!!

 

[stel1]

So I can deal with friends being pregnant but my SIL is pregnant and it seems to be all my in laws talk about

We are going to CO next weekend for her baby shower and we were actually forced to go out on my sons birthday instead of waiting one day because they said they wouldn't wait for us to give us a ride to the mountains.

So not only is a babyshower making my sons bday nonexistant I am incredibly jealous!

She's always saying "Oh, goin to prenatal yoga now" "Baby girl is kicking right now" etc. etc.

I am SO freakin jealous!!!!!


How do you cope

one of my cousin in laws is pregnant with her third. It's seriously tough and to say that I am not jealous is a serious understatement. I want a baby of my own so badly that I just cannot stand the waiting. It's truly heartbreaking. At least you can handle your friends being pregnant, I am jealous of them too! Us women, we're stronger than what we give ourselves credit for! Just keep your head and heart under-control and your future baby in your thoughts!

 

[Elpis_x]

I don't cope at all. My OH's sister in law had her baby this morning and looking at his newborn pictures makes me want to cry with jealously I don't really have any advice on how to cope, but just know a lot of us in WTT feel the same!

 

[thestarsfall]

Whenever I first hear that someone I know is pregnant I first feel like I got kicked in the gut and so I'm rather angry about it...but I always try to be courteous and I'll congratulate them or wish them well or whatever...and then I stew and storm inside myself for a day or so lol

and then I think of the reasons as to why I am waiting and why now wouldn't be the best time to be pregnant and try to focus on that for myself. It usually makes me feel better that way and then if the person who is pregnant is a closer friend to me I'll be totally fine with it from then on usually and be able to chat with them about it and ask questions. If they aren't super close to me then I just kinda ignore it.

 

[Mrs Dragonfly]

Whenever I first hear that someone I know is pregnant I first feel like I got kicked in the gut and so I'm rather angry about it...but I always try to be courteous and I'll congratulate them or wish them well or whatever...and then I stew and storm inside myself for a day or so lol

and then I think of the reasons as to why I am waiting and why now wouldn't be the best time to be pregnant and try to focus on that for myself. It usually makes me feel better that way and then if the person who is pregnant is a closer friend to me I'll be totally fine with it from then on usually and be able to chat with them about it and ask questions. If they aren't super close to me then I just kinda ignore it.

This is good advice, thank you. I'm going to have to try following that. Although the only reason we're waiting is because we both want to be married first. And a lot of girls I know getting pregnant right now aren't married and what you said reminds me that I will be thankful to be married before we start trying.

 

[OurLilFlu]

UGH I know how you feel ish...
-First of all, I work in postpartum and take care of babies all day
- A few weeks ago we found out that our potential oops / "scare" was not so after lots of crazy symptoms, BFNs and bloodwork
- Tonight I found out that my close friend is about 8 weeks preggers

I'm so happy for her, slightly jealous but mostly dissapointed that we almost would have been bump buddies! Makes me want to TTC this instant!

 

[Pearls18]

Tbh I don't really get jealous I am still scared by newborns enough to not be jealous of someone having sleepless nights lol. However, just because you already have a LO doesn't mean your WTT is any less important or difficult to someone WTT #1, WTT for subsequent children isn't necessarily easier, some women have strong urges to want to complete their family and give their children a sibling as well as the usual cravings for pregnancy and a newborn, so I think it is unfair to just expect you to appreciate lo#1, you have just as much right to feel broody and impatient as anybody else.

 

[chazzmatazz]

I was super jealous, until me and the OH set a firm date, now it's not so bad as i am working towards a target

 

[tearspawn]

My twin sister is pregnant with her second right now! It is hard for both of us, sometimes I think she is more broody for me to get pregnant than I am. It definitely makes my brooding worse when she is planning out what part of her cloth diaper stash she would give me, and coming up with strategies for how it could work for us financially. I swear, there is a perfect world where I live with her and we have babies together - sometimes, it is very difficult to accept that is not the world I live in.

Do you ever think about the other friends who would struggle if you did get pregnant now? I have a friend who is seriously thinking of babies whose partner is even more straightforwardly not ready than mine. A part of me is really hoping things line up in a year or so and we have them together, but it's pretty unrealistic. I worry that this amazing couple isn't going to survive the baby issue, actually.