GRRRR- why don't people think before they speak?!

[Lottie86]

The amount of people that have seen Findlay and said to me 'awwww how many days old is he?' and when I tell them how old he is I get the 'oh but he's so tiny' and when I say that he was 5 weeks prem they start saying 'you are so lucky you didn't have to wait the full time, it's terrible when you go overdue and have to wait I wish I had had mine 5 weeks early'

I am *THIS* close to having a rant at the next person that says it and point out to them that what is actually terrible is your baby nearly dying because your placenta wouldn't behave, having to go home and leave your baby in the hospital, spending 2 1/2 weeks in NICU and SCBU, only being at home with baby for 4 1/2 weeks before they are 999'd into hospital with a core temp of 28C and their organs shutting down and the docs thinking they wouldn't survive the night due to their little body not being able to cope with the lung infection they got because their lungs aren't that strong and then spending a week in intensive care with blood transfusions and a further week in the children's ward having a v close eye kept plus all the backwards and forwards to hospital for various check ups on their weight, their heart etc.

I wouldn't wish a prem baby on anyone so why on earth don't people think before they make comments?

I know that Findlay has had it soooo much easier than a lot of babies on here so I really dread to think how mad it must drive the rest of you.

 

[DonnaBallona]

The amount of people that have seen Findlay and said to me 'awwww how many days old is he?' and when I tell them how old he is I get the 'oh but he's so tiny' and when I say that he was 5 weeks prem they start saying 'you are so lucky you didn't have to wait the full time, it's terrible when you go overdue and have to wait I wish I had had mine 5 weeks early'

I am *THIS* close to having a rant at the next person that says it and point out to them that what is actually terrible is your baby nearly dying because your placenta wouldn't behave, having to go home and leave your baby in the hospital, spending 2 1/2 weeks in NICU and SCBU, only being at home with baby for 4 1/2 weeks before they are 999'd into hospital with a core temp of 28C and their organs shutting down and the docs thinking they wouldn't survive the night due to their little body not being able to cope with the lung infection they got because their lungs aren't that strong and then spending a week in intensive care with blood transfusions and a further week in the children's ward having a v close eye kept plus all the backwards and forwards to hospital for various check ups on their weight, their heart etc.

I wouldn't wish a prem baby on anyone so why on earth don't people think before they make comments?

I know that Findlay has had it soooo much easier than a lot of babies on here so I really dread to think how mad it must drive the rest of you.

Oh sweetheart I totally understand where you're coming from-what a RIDICULOUS thing to say to a mummy.

The week after I had Brooke, we were in SCBU and one woman tried to tell me I had taken the easy option having a section when Id nearly died. I wanted to gouge her eyes out.

I tend to just give the srangers the basics of knowledge where Brooke is concerned. Im SICK to the back teeth of making fake laughs and explaining my life to other people.

Try not to let it get to you sweetie xxx

 

[AP]

I know what you mean. All i've heard is 'at least you're not pregnant in this heat'(my own mother said that and she had me at 29 weeks, is she daft?) and 'at least she wasn't full size to push out'.
I don't give a shit about that. I'd rather she was still in my tummy.Then there's those who wish 'it come out now' and people who wish away their pregnancy. I only had 4 days in 3rd Tri, FFS!

But then, no one will fully understand.

 

[Fern.x]

I know what you mean liam wasnt early but he was in special care with a PDA and infection for a week and i so so many prem babys i know i will never wish i was even a couple of weeks early again when i have another xx

 

[Bec L]

Whilst Poppy was in hospital and I was finding it really hard being away from her at night, I read one of my work mates Facebook messages from a friend of hers which said 'I think people are lucky to have babies in hospital for a few weeks, they come out in a good routine, it's much easier...' I was soooo pissed off.

 

[Mamafy]

this is such a hard thing that only a mum of a premature baby can fully understand

when my son was born at 28 weeks he was small for agesssssssssss and isn't huge now but you know what I look at how far he's come and the many hurdles he's took in his stride and I just think now

Highly annoying and upsetting though, I find family are worse because you'll always get 'well such and such's baby is 6 months younger and is still bigger'

 

[Mumof42009]

I had this soo much and in the end i used to say to people do you think its easy seeing your daughter nearly die and fighting for there life? It soon shuts them up . I wish i could carry to full term and be normal not have a baby whos going to need nicu care but im so bloody grateful that they are there to help our babys. Some people dont see what we go though and need to get into the real world ive had people say to me this time at least you wont get massive and have to lose the weight i would rather be the size of the house than know that my baby is going to have to fight when he comes out

 

[Dona]

I can't agree with you more! I got 'At least you didn't get stretch marks' agrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I hate it when people say 'Oh my kid was premature' Yeah how early I asked '2 weeks' I have honestly said to a few Mum's that 2 weeks is not a prem baby but they don't listen.. Oh they were so small "yeah how small I ask' Oh 6lb 2oz.....aghhhhh this is not small I say 2lb 6oz is but again they don't listen!

People don't think.

 

[Abz1982]

I agree. if that was me I would probably have snapped by now! A girl at my OH's work is still smoking so that her baby isnt huge, and she would hope it came early so that it doesn't hurt too much!! Its disgusting.

 

[MUMOF5]

I still get people staring into the pram and asking how old she is, when I tell them shes 6 months they look at me in shock. Some peoples comments really piss me off, some old lady said that I should try to feed her more!!!! OMG if she wasnt so old I swear I would have lamped her one.

 

[dreamer]

I'm going through this now, my little girl was 5 weeks early too due to developing Pre-Eclampsia. I was induced poked prodded then had an emergency C Section.

Took Matilda out for the first time yesterday and I felt really good, although I should still be resting as it was only a week since I had her, anyway whe3n I told people how old she is they looked at me and asked if I shoud have her the house and her the air could be damaging her lungs etc. I felt awful as my body couldn't cope with her and when I want to take her out I get told off!

 

[Cazzyg]

I can't agree with you more! I got 'At least you didn't get stretch marks' agrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I hate it when people say 'Oh my kid was premature' Yeah how early I asked '2 weeks' I have honestly said to a few Mum's that 2 weeks is not a prem baby but they don't listen.. Oh they were so small "yeah how small I ask' Oh 6lb 2oz.....aghhhhh this is not small I say 2lb 6oz is but again they don't listen!

People don't think.

True. But, my little girl was born a few days from being classed as full term. However she needed treatment in the NNICU whereas smaller babies born earlier were being allowed home. So weight isn't always an indicator of how well a baby is.

So while we didn't have nearly as difficult a time as those of you with very early babies, someone who's baby was born just a little early at a reasonable weight can also understand some of the issues and may also have had a difficult time.

Before I had Charlotte, I probably said some stupid, insensitive things partly because I didn't know what to say, opened my mouth and put my big foot in it.

 

[DiddyDons]

dont get me started on this, im mad thinking about it and I get some awful comments about loosing my Sophie, such as "oh you can have another one" Yeah right....as if thats going to make it all better?!

 

[Hevz]

Do you know....the amount of people who have said similar things to me I've had 4 of my 6 children prematurely and the 1st two died yet people were still saying to me in my last pregnancy

"I bet you're hoping this one comes early too aren't you?"

I know some people say the wrong thing sometimes but blimey....there's an awful lot of stupid people out there, really there is


Even people who know me and know my history have said things like

"it't the last few week that really drag isn't it?"

....I dunno, I've never got that far. 38wks is the furthest I carried and even that time labour had previously started at 24 and 28wks and the hospital gave me nefedapine to help stop the contractions

 

[Snuggle2]

Hello Ladies,
My first visit here. No, I'm not a new Mum or even an expectant one......my daughter is 25 years old! I came visiting for premature baby knitting patterns and then decided to browse.
Having read some of the comments made to you, the one thing that comes to mind, is a TOTAL lack of understanding. I was lucky enough to go full term. I made sure I enjoyed every minute of my pregnancy, because after 3 miscarriages, I realised that my baby could be the only child I would ever have. How right I was.

Faced with some of the thoughtless comments mentioned here, may I suggest that you bite your tongue, smile 'sweetly' and feel sorry that these people have such little understanding. If you retort, you will be considered rude. It really isn't worth it - they are not worth wasting an explanation on. Remember your little one will hear your stressed voice.

I wish all of you and your little ones well. Keep smiling!

 

[mamalove]

I know what you mean!
I was out with one of my twins recently,and this lady came over to me and said ''awww how old is HE? a week?'' ..first of all,it's a SHE,and second ..she is TEN WEEKS!

 

[Naya69]

awww hes beautifull i know where your coming from my friend has just brought her premmie home and it was such a scary time for her as he had breathing problems i wouldnt wish anyone or myself to go early its such a stressfull situation but thank god for the technology we have today otherwise my friends baby wouldnt of made it.
i think people who dont know what its like to give birth early and go through the stress dont know how much is involved they should really think before they open their mouths just ignore them hun xxxx

 

[Tilly]

Our little girl was born a day off of 38 weeks, so considered full term.. but she had some problems (not as bad as your little boy) but she was in SCBU for a week and that was bad enough.. so I can feel for you in your situation. I would try not to take the comments to heart, although I know it can be very hard not to. People don't always think before they speak do they.

 

[x-Rainbow-x]

i too know where you are coming from Alex was 5 weeks early, and whenever i tell people how old he is i always get ...god he's tiny!!! im like YES I KNOW!!!!! he is small BUT for his corrected age he is perfect!!

and even at the mum and baby groups i was talking about him gettin his injections next week and they said ......awww his first injections

i was like NOOOO there his second ones and he will be 14 weeks when he gets them .


can you tell im touchy about it