Had a D&C on Friday - pretty sad

[Elliegyrl]

Hi All -

I'm new to this board & am hoping to find some encouragement from it. It seems like no one quite gets how I'm feeling right now.

We got married in Sept. and I went off the pill (after about 15 years) in March. We weren't going to "TTC" until September (after our 1st anniversary) but I got pregnant in April - right out of the gate. At first I wasn't sure we were ready (we are in the process of moving) but it's funny how quickly you fit and imagine a baby in your life. I took a pregnancy test June 3rd - positive. I saw my GYN on Monday and there was no H/B. I had my HCG levels (they dropped) taken and 2 more Sono's that week and no H/B Last Friday I had a D&C. I was 9 weeks gestation but the fetus was only 6 weeks. I'm imagining it's normal to feel somewhat sad at this point but now I'm terrified this is going to happen again - or that if we wait until Sept. to start to try again it will be too late. I'm not sure why I feel like that - it would only be about 3 cycles. I've read in some articles that it's much easier to get pregnant after a D&C b/c your ovaries are cleaned out? On top of being sad I'm so confused right now. I guess my question is has anyone waited 3 months before TTC after a miscarriage or D&C? How did it work out for you?

Thanks ladies!

 

[NewToAllThis]

Ellie - so sorry for your loss hun, I know how you're feeling.
I had mmc at 12 weeks last August but baby only measured 7 weeks.

I personally didn't wait after my D&C and am glad I didn't as I am still waiting (but it did take us 12 months first time round).

The advice I got from docs, hospital etc was conflicting - but all of them said that you can try again once bleeding has stopped and you feel ready.
The main reason they try and encourage you to wait is for dating purposes if you get pg again quickly - but they can always scan you if that is the case.

I'd say go for it - if you want a baby that much - and it sounds like you do.

Good luck hun

 

[mamabearjen]

Hi, Im sorry my situation is very different from yours. i lost my son at 33 weeks, 1 hour after birth. but i do understand your feelings of questioning when to ttc. I hope you find someone in a similar situation, no matter what...hang in there!

 

[Tweak0605]

I had a D&C in March. I was supposed to be 10 weeks, but the baby showed to be 7w5d with no heartbeat. I recovered fairly quickly from the D&C, but NTNP that cycle until I got AF. I got AF nearly 40 days later.

My doctor told me that I had to wait till 1 AF, then I could start trying again. I've read conflicting advice, which is why we didn't prevent anything from happening. We just decided to let nature take it's course, and if it were to be, then it would be.

 

[Elliegyrl]

Thanks so much ladies! I'm a bit taken back by how strong all of you are but it's so very comforting to have found this board. MamabearJen - I replied on the other post. I think you are truly an amazing person to continue on with Carter and give him that hour. I can't imagine how hard this time is for you but I am thinking of you & Carter. NewToAllThis - thank you. I'm sending a lot of good thoughts your way!!!

 

[Elliegyrl]

Hi Tweak - I think that's what we will do. How long after your D&C did you wait to have sex? I'm so scared I'm going to be totally stretched out or something! The nurses said 2-4 weeks but my Dr. said 4 days. I'd like to wait until Sept (our original plan) but I think we are going to just go with it and see what happens. I don't know why by part of me feels that if we don't try right now it won't happen if we wait. I think my hormones are just crazy! I feel like pregnant people are following me around, lol! I've never been so aware of it, it's so hard.

 

[Pippin]

Hi, couldn't read and run your experience is pretty much mine. My baby only measured 6 weeks and I had the D&C at 9 weeks. I was so cut up and sad I totally empathise with you right now. I waited for one af and then tried again. I was only told to wait one so I did. I was lucky enough to catch that month (to my surprise) and her I am nearly 35 weeks. The only advice I can give you is hang on in there, you'll have really bad days and some good but with time it does get easier. I cried a lot in those first few months even when I got pregnant again. Time is a healer and now I do look back and not get upset. I realise these things happen for a reason but at the time that is so hard to understand. I hope you have a speedy recovery and that you get your sticky bean soon. xxxx

edit: thought you'd like to know my af came only 5 days later than normal and I had no bleeding after the D&C. Good luck hun.

 

[Tweak0605]

Hi Tweak - I think that's what we will do. How long after your D&C did you wait to have sex? I'm so scared I'm going to be totally stretched out or something! The nurses said 2-4 weeks but my Dr. said 4 days. I'd like to wait until Sept (our original plan) but I think we are going to just go with it and see what happens. I don't know why by part of me feels that if we don't try right now it won't happen if we wait. I think my hormones are just crazy! I feel like pregnant people are following me around, lol! I've never been so aware of it, it's so hard.

I think it was a little over 2 weeks till we DTD. I was kinda scared to, since I didn't know how it would "feel." Like if it would hurt or anything. But it was fine.

I just had my 2nd m/c, although this was an early one. I just basically had a heavy period, so we're jumping right back into TTC. I got my OPKs and everything, so we're hoping to catch it again quickly.

 

[rflower]

I had a d&c after I lost my baby Alex at 13 weeks June of 2010. This was my third second trimester miscarriage. I was told to wait 6 months. My dr told me to wait 2 months to try when we got pregnant with Alex. She later told me (as did another dr) your body may be ready in as little as a month, but your mind may take a while. I'm still not completely over it, but doing better.

It hope this helps you. I would say go for it if your feeling up to it!

 

[jbabywish]

Hi Ellie, I am so sorry for your loss. I had a d and c ten days ago and I was at the doc today for a follow up appointment. she told me to wait for 1 AF to pass before TTCing again. I feel ready again...

wish you loads of baby dust!!

 

[Elliegyrl]

Thanks ladies!!! and Pippin ~ CONGRATULATIONS!!!! So comforting to hear too, especially after we seem to share a very similar story. I'm so happy for you

 

[kiki04]

Hi Ellie, Im so sorry for your loss I just had a d&c on May 26 to say goodbye to my sweet Hadlee a day before I was 17 weeks. I know all the ladies in here understand how you're feeling and it does help. Some people just dismiss it because you never held or "knew" your baby. Well yes we did.. we knew they was ours, we loved them, and they were alive and died. It is a real pain that no one should ever have to just "dismiss".

As far as ttc again or even having sex period we waited 10 days and had sex 4 times between cd 10-20. It has some discomfort in certain ahem "positions" and it seems more sensitive to me right now but DH says it is the same to him so I guess I just have a bit more healing to do. My DH has to go for a vasectomy reversal which our apt is tomorrow as he got it done just a few weeks before we lost Hadlee so I am in here, doing opk's relearning my cycle and tracking when I bd already and it has only been 3 weeks tomorrow since my baby grew wings.

 

[Babypower]

simuliar to mine hun. i had a scan at 6 weeks in australia, they said the HB was 45bpm and they said it didnt look good. after the next scan there was no hb, i was along way from home and deverstated.

I had a d&c in oz on 7th may and today after a very long 40 days my period arrived. everyone seems to move on and because ur the only one who went through it on ur own u will find it quite lonely sometimes like no one understands.

one piece of advise tho, stay of these kind of websites for a week just until u are a bit stronger,

love xxx

 

[Babypower]

oh i had sex for the first time after 3 weeks and it doesnt hurt. and as far as ttc just see what happens. it will all come in good time i promise xx

 

[Elliegyrl]

Thank you all so much! You are all such wonderful ladies & I am so sorry that all of us are going thru this. It's so comforting to know I'm not alone and that there are people out there that understand.
I have been feeling a little better. It will be two weeks on Friday since my D&C & I had really no bleeding at all. I had some minor cramping that only came this week & I'm hoping it's b/c my AF is on her way back (wow, did I just say that, lol)
We still haven't had sex but it's on the agenda for Friday which will be 2 weeks. We are going to wait to TTC until August / September again which was the original plan anyway. That should give me 2 normal AF (if it comes back now). Something in me is nervous about waiting though b/c I know everyone says that you are fertile RIGHT after your m/c but will I be just as fertile if I wait 3 months?
Thanks again!!! xoxo