Had enough already!

[londonbird]

Ugh wasnt sure wether to post in miscarriage bit or here..so hope its okay eitherway.

Had my implant fitted on the 20th and just.. it feels like waiting is 10000 times worse since I had it, the pain in my arm is a constant reminder that I have to wait.

We had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago, my oh was there and looked after me but was very much saying he didnt want to see me in that mess again and I was to get the implant ASAP. For a few weeks I said no, argued, said he was to to use contraception if he wanted, but basically deadlock..no sex..or me being angry at not being able to have sex. He knows I dont want the implant

Have been getting worse migraines since I had it and now this weekend have had very severe ones, numb face/arm and had to wear my eyepatch just to go down the road basically. I am going to go back to doc about this. But OH will assume I just want it out so am making any excuse!

I dunno just feeling so withdrawn, went to doc, he said oh its normal to feel awful after miscarriage. Told him I'm not eating, only go out for work and gym. He just said. He was sorry. Am down to 7st 12 atm. I just cant be bothered to eat, feel so so low.

Feel so alone, my whole family are abroad atm..and my partner just..well.. twists everything and says..oh I am making him stressed, he will walk out or.. makes it all about HIM. When it isnt, I am still grieving and I dont want to wait to try at all. Feel like I am being tortured with this sodding implant!

Anyways sorry for the rant, just feeling really lost, did email samaritans, but they really cant say much ..its very PC their replies..

Thanks in advance guys

 

[PeanutBean]

It sounds to me like you should get it taken out. It's not worth feeling this way.

 

[fairygirl]

Get it taken out, hopefully the Dr will say the same so OH can't argue with a medical opinion. You do need time to grieve and to let your body recover. You need to try to eat too as conception is harder if you're underweight. Sounds like it hit OH harder than he makes out and he has got all defensive coz of it. But him being so selfish obviously isn't helping anything. Try talking to him, really letting him know how you feel. I'm guessing you want to ttc coz you want a baby, not because you want to replace the one you lost, and your OH probably needs to be reassured of this. Hope I don't sound like I'm giving you a lecture or like I'm talking complete rubbish.

 

[happygolucky]

I agree it should be taken out and to give you the time you need. Hope everything works out for you.

 

[shocker]

Im sorry your having a tough time london bird.I think you werent ready for the implant and maybe the best thing would be to have it taken out.I know your struggling with the wait and i know that for me personally knowing i had a 4 year wait no matter what would really hurt me.I think perhaps it was too soon, if ye BOTH decide on this later then fine but i dont think you were ready to have it all be so final.Im sorry to hear you and your oh are argueing, it sounds like ye are both just grieving in very differant ways.Im sure he doesnt mean to argue but hes watched you go through this and it sounds like hes unsure if he could face seeing you in so much pain again.It is very hard to eat at this time, i found it extreemly difficult to eat for days and kept being told to eat but i was in such a state i didnt even know if i was hungry and if i was what would i eat, the decisions were too head wrecking so i just didnt bother.Right now you need to take care of yourself, take lots of rest and eat whatever you feel up to eating because its so physically draining you need to.Eat simple small meals if you feel you cant eat full ones, make yourself your favourite food or some homemade soup always works for me.I understand what you mean about the samaritans aswell i txted them a few days ago and everything was answered with another question and it was really frustrating.If you want to talk feel free to pm me anytime and hope your feeling better soon

 

[londonbird]

Thank you all so so much, was starting to feel I was being melodramatic the way OH reacts to me.

Thank you, means a lot

 

[parkgirl]

I agree with the others that you really need to have it taken out. Your health, mental and physical, is the most important thing right now.

 

[goddess25]

London Bird I agree with the other ladies, you should probably get the implant taken out. It doesnt sound good, Having a m/c only 7 weeks ago your still recovering from that, your hormones are all over the place and probably worse now with the implant. It does sound like your OH has had a rough time, I had a m/c a few years back and husband was very good but never really talked about it much, until a few months later. I had no idea he was so upset.
Hope things get better, you need to try and take care of yourself physically, a m/c is tough to get through.