Had my booking appointment and midwife was very anti cesarean anybody had similar?

[lexey_7]

I had my booking in appointment but it didn't go well on the wanting a cesarean bit left feeling quite deflated and almost had a cry.

She was a nice midwife but said that they're very pro-vaginal birth, it's safest for baby and highly unlikely I will be able to have a section. She was trying to push me to have baby in the midwife led unit which I don't want and didn't think would be an option anyway as the appointment went on she said about seeing the consultant and despite what she thinks I need to push for my wants but I'm not very confident can't see me being able to ask for it if everybody else disagrees. Her suggestion is that I be referred to somebody that can go over my last birth and work through any issues that worry me and have my husband do perennial massage!

Feel a bit sad, my best friend is a few weeks further along than me and I went with her to her booking in and midwife talked a bit to me too, she was all for a section in my situation and told me to stand my ground wish I'd gotten her! Xx

 

[missbabes]

When I had my booking appointment my options of birth weren't even covered. Was told that I'd have to wait until after my 20 week scan to see what options (if any) I have. I had a EMCS with DS, so whether I can attempt a vbac or have another c-section will all depend on how I healed.

Did you have a c-section previously? As that would play a strong part in the likelihood of having one.

 

[Marumi]

Is there a certain medical reason for you needing a cesarian? If so what did she say to that?
Did you have a Cesarian before and do not wish a VBAC?

Cesarian sections are considered emergency surgery. When the benefits outweigh the risks. But the risks are high and even suspected higher than publically mentioned. It literally has no upsides other than not having to go through labor.
Even the WHO advises against it unless absolutely necessary.

Some of the less known problems - with a subsequent pregnancy there can be problems with implantation due to the scar tissue, it is more likely to develop a condition like placenta previa.
Digestive issues resulting in damage to your health and appearance are also not uncommon.
In many women the stomach muscles will not regain full strength, certainly having an effect on a womans tendency for back and body aches and figure.
Hormonal imbalances are common. A midwive at La Leche League explained it like this...- your body and the hormones can not understand what a C-Section is. To the body it is almost as if the baby has been torn out by a predator and died. Hormonal imbalances can lead to mood disorders, depression, inadequate milk production, fertility problems and of course all sorts of cosmetic issues like acne, thinning hair, accelarated aging.

I like to mention that health consequences always affect the appearance too. Having went through many health problems and looked like crap I think it is worth to warn others. I had to pull myself out of this, restore my health and after many years I started looking healthy again too.

One thing I learned is, unless there is no other way, do not fuck with nature cause nature will fuck you back ten times worse

I think your widwife is just really concerned and did not explain why. You have time to read about it and think about it. Others can only tell you how they feel and give you advice. My advice is no different you may chose to take it or leave it .

 

[lexey_7]

Thanks ladies, sorry I was all upset I didn't remember to put why I want one

My pregnancy with dd was fine apart from SPD but her birth wasn't so good. She got stuck so I had the ventouse but it caused a third degree tear and fractured my coccyx. I had to go to theatre for a few hours so missed all the nice after birth stuff and when I came out they sent hubby home then I couldn't sit up because of my back for almost a year so it ruined breast feeding and a lot of our bonding and my stiches kept getting infected so that hasn't healed great.

I'd been thinking about it for a while with ttc and just thought a section would be best and although the after part terrifies me it couldn't be any worse?
I had also read and being told at follow up appointments it would be a real possibility so had it in my head I wasn't going to have to go through it again and it would be better this time.

Now I just feel deflated and a bit scared I wondered if anybody else had gone through/is going through similar. I'm hoping my husband being there will help at consultant appointment as he's a lot better at speaking up when I'm too shy. Xx

 

[missbabes]

Thanks ladies, sorry I was all upset I didn't remember to put why I want one

My pregnancy with dd was fine apart from SPD but her birth wasn't so good. She got stuck so I had the ventouse but it caused a third degree tear and fractured my coccyx. I had to go to theatre for a few hours so missed all the nice after birth stuff and when I came out they sent hubby home then I couldn't sit up because of my back for almost a year so it ruined breast feeding and a lot of our bonding and my stiches kept getting infected so that hasn't healed great.

I'd been thinking about it for a while with ttc and just thought a section would be best and although the after part terrifies me it couldn't be any worse?
I had also read and being told at follow up appointments it would be a real possibility so had it in my head I wasn't going to have to go through it again and it would be better this time.

Now I just feel deflated and a bit scared I wondered if anybody else had gone through/is going through similar. I'm hoping my husband being there will help at consultant appointment as he's a lot better at speaking up when I'm too shy. Xx

Bless you, I can see why the prospect is so scary to you. I'd definitely bring it up with your consultant as they should be able to see more about previous experience. My booking appointment was basically just a quick run through, where nothing could be discussed in full. Hopefully they'll be able to either settle your mind by going through it properly.

 

[minties]

Your body, your choice. Can you choose another midwife?

 

[Manicmum]

I had a emcs after suffering placenta précis, previous to that I hada footling breech baby by c section ( 3 natural too) when having my last baby I was told it wud be a c-sec then a consultant decided to change there mind, I was upset for many reason , but it felt wrong luckily my gp fought my corner, so honestly if u think its best keep pushing as it turned out for me my womb was so thin they think my womb would of torn during delivery ��

 

[laila 44]

Is there a certain medical reason for you needing a cesarian? If so what did she say to that?
Did you have a Cesarian before and do not wish a VBAC?

Cesarian sections are considered emergency surgery. When the benefits outweigh the risks. But the risks are high and even suspected higher than publically mentioned. It literally has no upsides other than not having to go through labor.
Even the WHO advises against it unless absolutely necessary.

Some of the less known problems - with a subsequent pregnancy there can be problems with implantation due to the scar tissue, it is more likely to develop a condition like placenta previa.
Digestive issues resulting in damage to your health and appearance are also not uncommon.
In many women the stomach muscles will not regain full strength, certainly having an effect on a womans tendency for back and body aches and figure.
Hormonal imbalances are common. A midwive at La Leche League explained it like this...- your body and the hormones can not understand what a C-Section is. To the body it is almost as if the baby has been torn out by a predator and died. Hormonal imbalances can lead to mood disorders, depression, inadequate milk production, fertility problems and of course all sorts of cosmetic issues like acne, thinning hair, accelarated aging.

I like to mention that health consequences always affect the appearance too. Having went through many health problems and looked like crap I think it is worth to warn others. I had to pull myself out of this, restore my health and after many years I started looking healthy again too.

One thing I learned is, unless there is no other way, do not fuck with nature cause nature will fuck you back ten times worse

I think your widwife is just really concerned and did not explain why. You have time to read about it and think about it. Others can only tell you how they feel and give you advice. My advice is no different you may chose to take it or leave it .

Although I do understand why you stated this info above I don't think it's fair to those of us who don't have a choice. I had 2 csections and can assure you it's not even half as bad as what you've stated. I had zero issues breastfeeding, no issues with ppd, no problem getting pregnant again and again etc. my recovery was super easy and I actually loved my csections. I personally say that it's your body your choice. However please don't make woman feel less than for having a csection. Although I'm happy in mine, some women on here will get csections and it won't be out of choice and they will remember these things you've stated and that might make them feel less than. At the end of the day, you will all have babies in your arms the way they got here won't matter.

 

[laila 44]

I can also go through a list of issues that vaginal births can cause it's all relative.

 

[laila 44]

OP, your reasons for wanting a section are valid! Change midwife or just go directly to an OB. Fight for what you want.

 

[pinkpassion]

I had to have an emcs with dd , under general anesthesia, I didn't see her until she was 2 hours old because I was not awake.
That said, I was begging my nurse to let me get up that night (here they want you to stay in bed for 12 hours with urinary catheter). I refused pain meds because I didn't want them going through breast milk., I successfully ebf my dd and still going strong (although weaning now because of twins pregnancy ) , we never had any problems bonding, my recovery was very very painful but I managed, and I had zero ppd issues!!!

All that said, I don't ever want to do it again unless absolutely necessary... I'd love to vbac!!!

 

[lace&pearls]

I can totally see why you feel that way. I imagine what happened is rare, so very unlikely to happen again but I think I would feel the same... I think if you stick to your guns it's ultimately up to you. My Mw is very pro home birth. I smiled and nodded and said i would consider it and with no disrespect to others, I would never judge or dissuade someone else from that choice, I don't think it's for me. I think some Mws are more outspoken than others but ultimately it's up to you how you give birth xxx

 

[womblemum]

Midwives I have found are often very judgemental. CS cost more but when I had my first half the NCT group ended up having a CS despite not being planned for one (mine was planned due to GD).

If you don't like the midwife you see ask for another - it is not their decision anyways!

 

[Lynys1980]

I had a c section, because my daughter was breech and trying to deliver here in Canada with a breech baby is completely out of the question.

Vbac, is also out of the question for me. They will not even give it a second thought, and I am okay with that.

I breastfed my daughter for 15 months after the section. I had zero mobility issues. I was walking around the same night (highly encouraged by nurses). The ONLY issue I had post baby, was she was colicky, so I was basically tied to her 24/7 and unable to have ME time.

My doctor has already spoken to me about my impending c section, because we live in a small city and there is only one doctor who will do them here, and it will be at her discretion if she agrees to do mine, or if they send me to a larger city to have it done.

I would recommend talking to someone else. Your delivery is yours and you should have a say in it.

 

[Marumi]

OP, maybe she can explain to you why she thinks you can have a successful vaginal birth giving what happened? Maybe she believes the chances of it happening again are small to non existant. If there is a risk than this is your best argument. And if you are terrified of it happening again no one can or should push you. A vaginal birth should only be an option if you trust tou can do it and there is no risk.

Is there a certain medical reason for you needing a cesarian? If so what did she say to that?
Did you have a Cesarian before and do not wish a VBAC...

Although I do understand why you stated this info above I don't think it's fair to those of us who don't have a choice. I had 2 csections and can assure you it's not even half as bad as what you've stated. I had zero issues breastfeeding, no issues with ppd, no problem getting pregnant again and again etc. my recovery was super easy and I actually loved my csections. I personally say that it's your body your choice. However please don't make woman feel less than for having a csection. Although I'm happy in mine, some women on here will get csections and it won't be out of choice and they will remember these things you've stated and that might make them feel less than. At the end of the day, you will all have babies in your arms the way they got here won't matter.

Less than what? Sorry idu. My goal is not to bash women who had a C-Section, but to share some of the reasons I don't want another. Because most of the things I shared I have experienced aside from the ttc issues. But back then I became part of a group of women online who suffered damage from C-Sections. There is quiet a few and I don't think it would be fair to people who have suffered consequences to say "hush and keep quiet, no one wants to hear the risks or what you suffered through, it puts us down." It is like saying "we only want to hear happy C-Section experiences." I think many of the women that suffered damage would be happy to have known the risks because in their case it was often an elective C-Section or they gave their consent because of a long labor etc., but vaginal would have been possible. Of course it is a scary topic, birth always is because complications can happen.

It took me one year to be somewhat pain free after my emergency C-Section, before that all layers of my stomach were painful to the touch. I had to wear a wrap to support my back or else I would get back aches. I had postpartum psychosis, did not have enough milk and had to take Fenugreek for years to be able to breastfeed. My intestines took damage and I had very bad digestive issues for years that together with whacky hormones lead to a chronic Fungus growing over my face and body, literally eating away on my skin that looked red, inflamed and covered in pustules. The fungus also made my hair fall out. Hormonal imbalances led to painful PMS with fever and chills, body aches, my cycles were 40 days long and all I bled was black blood. I was told I was near infertility. I was unable to keep a healthy weight, eating always hurt. I started getting parasitic infections and gut bacteria overgroath because my gut bacteria was not able to handle anything.
My tailbone also went out of place despite me never going into labor or having contractions which was very painful when sitting and I was unable to sit reclined for 2 years.
And the worst was, doctors were completely unable to help me. All they could do was prescribe drugs to mask symptoms. The only reason I am healthy now and don't look like a trainwreck is because I looked into natural healing and self treated. I literally treated every issue and have healthy hair, skin, a perfect cycle and periods, good digestion now but it was so sad for doctors to tell me there is nothing they can do.
I know women who have been through far worse and said "I wish someone had warned me." And that is all I am doing. Putting a warning out there because I do not wish this on anyone.
There was no way around my C-Section but it could have possibly been avoided if doctors believed me I was already 42+5 weeks along and intervened earlier to get me into labor. The placenta had given up and during a checkup my son's heartbeat could not be found.

 

[laila 44]

OP, maybe she can explain to you why she thinks you can have a successful vaginal birth giving what happened? Maybe she believes the chances of it happening again are small to non existant. If there is a risk than this is your best argument. And if you are terrified of it happening again no one can or should push you. A vaginal birth should only be an option if you trust tou can do it and there is no risk.

Is there a certain medical reason for you needing a cesarian? If so what did she say to that?
Did you have a Cesarian before and do not wish a VBAC...

Although I do understand why you stated this info above I don't think it's fair to those of us who don't have a choice. I had 2 csections and can assure you it's not even half as bad as what you've stated. I had zero issues breastfeeding, no issues with ppd, no problem getting pregnant again and again etc. my recovery was super easy and I actually loved my csections. I personally say that it's your body your choice. However please don't make woman feel less than for having a csection. Although I'm happy in mine, some women on here will get csections and it won't be out of choice and they will remember these things you've stated and that might make them feel less than. At the end of the day, you will all have babies in your arms the way they got here won't matter.

Less than what? Sorry idu. My goal is not to bash women who had a C-Section, but to share some of the reasons I don't want another. Because most of the things I shared I have experienced aside from the ttc issues. But back then I became part of a group of women online who suffered damage from C-Sections. There is quiet a few and I don't think it would be fair to people who have suffered consequences to say "hush and keep quiet, no one wants to hear the risks or what you suffered through, it puts us down." It is like saying "we only want to hear happy C-Section experiences." I think many of the women that suffered damage would be happy to have known the risks because in their case it was often an elective C-Section or they gave their consent because of a long labor etc., but vaginal would have been possible. Of course it is a scary topic, birth always is because complications can happen.

It took me one year to be somewhat pain free after my emergency C-Section, before that all layers of my stomach were painful to the touch. I had to wear a wrap to support my back or else I would get back aches. I had postpartum psychosis, did not have enough milk and had to take Fenugreek for years to be able to breastfeed. My intestines took damage and I had very bad digestive issues for years that together with whacky hormones lead to a chronic Fungus growing over my face and body, literally eating away on my skin that looked red, inflamed and covered in pustules. The fungus also made my hair fall out. Hormonal imbalances led to painful PMS with fever and chills, body aches, my cycles were 40 days long and all I bled was black blood. I was told I was near infertility. I was unable to keep a healthy weight, eating always hurt. I started getting parasitic infections and gut bacteria overgroath because my gut bacteria was not able to handle anything.
My tailbone also went out of place despite me never going into labor or having contractions which was very painful when sitting and I was unable to sit reclined for 2 years.
And the worst was, doctors were completely unable to help me. All they could do was prescribe drugs to mask symptoms. The only reason I am healthy now and don't look like a trainwreck is because I looked into natural healing and self treated. I literally treated every issue and have healthy hair, skin, a perfect cycle and periods, good digestion now but it was so sad for doctors to tell me there is nothing they can do.
I know women who have been through far worse and said "I wish someone had warned me." And that is all I am doing. Putting a warning out there because I do not wish this on anyone.
There was no way around my C-Section but it could have possibly been avoided if doctors believed me I was already 42+5 weeks along and intervened earlier to get me into labor. The placenta had given up and during a checkup my son's heartbeat could not be found.

Wow that sounds terrible. I'm sorry you had to go through that. Although you had an unfortunate outcome that is an exception and not the norm. I understand you were trying to warn again elective csections and their consequences it's just that sometimes we don't get a choice, as in sure you have experienced. Again I'm sorry you had such a bad experience xx

 

[Marumi]

I know that sometimes we don't have a choice and if there are too many risks to the OP or she is too scared she has reasons to have another C-Section. But if a vaginal birth was possible without this happening again it might be less risky. I am not a midwife however. A professional will have to calculate the risks and if the OP does not feel comfortable with this midwife it might be best to switch and get a second opinion. I have seen 3 doctors already because I wasn't quite happy.
I am hoping that a VBAC will be possible for me but I will have to wait and see how the pregnancy progresses.

 

[lynnikins]

It's your choice who your care provider is if you're not happy the request a chance of mw,