Hard time telling someone I'm pregnant

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Bebe1, Jan 25, 2011.

  1. Bebe1

    Bebe1 Well-Known Member

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    I know this is second trimester, but I am having extreme difficulties telling my father's side of the family that I'm pregnant. They mean the world to me, but I hate to say it, they are extremely judgemental. I am so excited, and I think they eventually will be too, but this has so far been the most undesirable part of my pregnancy.

    Did anyone else have a hard time telling anyone?
     
  2. ermm23a

    ermm23a Well-Known Member

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    Judgemental of what?

    Are you unmarried or was the pregnancy unplanned? Why would they be judgemental? As long as you are able to responsibly care for a child w/o help from them, then it's totally your business, and I would hope they would be excited about a new addition to the family. Planned or not, a baby is something to be excited about!
     
  3. LHill2010

    LHill2010 Well-Known Member

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    Luckily, my husband told his family, but it was hard for me to talk to them about it at first. DH and I had discussed a baby, but he was reluctant at first and talked to his dad about it before we decided to go for it. When we found out we were pregnant a few weeks later, I was afraid his parents would think I tricked him or something. They're excited about it I think.. but I understand where you're coming from. I just don't care anymore.. judge me if you want, but we are SO excited for this baby1
     
  4. miss_danielle

    miss_danielle * Mother Of 3 *

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    i never ever liked telling mine or my OH family that we were pregnant i hated it ..just for the fact they come out with silly remarks like omg 3 kids at so an so age ..aint you got enuff kids .christ you need to tie a not in it.blah blah blah really pees me off ..this time they havent said much really my SIL is golden shes excited and my neice is excited ..but my family we havent got on since i told them completely fell out with them..
     
  5. Bebe1

    Bebe1 Well-Known Member

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    Not married, and unplanned. But extremely excited.

    I find it easy to talk to friends and co-workers about it, but I get really sensitive when I talk to family about it. I just don't know why.
     
  6. Brieanna

    Brieanna Well-Known Member

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    Even though this was a planned pregnancy, I was worried about telling certain people about being pregnant because I was afraid of their reactions. When you tell them, no matter what your circumstances are, don't be apologetic! Babies are a blessing and should be cherished!

    When I did tell them (on Christmas day) I made sure I was all smiles, happy and acting positive (not nervous like I was!) then I showed them the picture of the ultrasound and gushed about how excited I was and how much fun they would have when I visited with the baby etc. It would have been hard for someone to say something negative when I was acting all positive!

    Good luck! :)
     
  7. camishantel

    camishantel Please stay put baby!!!!

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    I had a hard time telling my Dad as I am not married to my FOB and my dad is a minister... I think I finally told him when I was about 14-16 weeks along.. and actually he surprised me as he was actually excited for me I have had 6 miscarriages and he was happy that I was far along
     
  8. ermm23a

    ermm23a Well-Known Member

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    Well, I think you're doing something really brave. Anyone that would judge you is wrong to do so. You had a choice when you found out, and you chose to keep your baby which, in my mind is better than the alternative. I wouldn't focus on what they may or may not think about the situation, but instead focus on the positive and the future! And I agree with the other poster who said you need to be positive when you tell them. Don't let them see that you're nervous about it. Let them see how excited you are, and their reaction might surprise you.
     
  9. Bebe1

    Bebe1 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you ladies. Starting my phone calls now!
     
  10. PrayinForBaby

    PrayinForBaby Haley's Mommy =)

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    Just lay it out there!! Anxious to see how everyone takes the news!
     
  11. miss cakes

    miss cakes Well-Known Member

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    hope the phone calls went alright! i think my dad was the hardest person to tell first time round in the end i made my mum do it lmao x
     
  12. Lottie86

    Lottie86 Mummy to Findlay & Iona

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    None of my family or non BnB friends know and my OH hasn't told any of his family or friends either (I'm 15 weeks tomorrow).

    I haven't told my Mum yet as I know she's going to go absolutely mad at me when I tell her. I will be breaking the news to her when I go down for a flying visit in early March when I've got a hospital appt down in London so I'll be almost 21 weeks by that point.

    I'll prob tell my Dad when I'm about 24 weeks or so as the second I tell him he'll be phoning everyone on his side of the family to tell them and I don't want any of them knowing until we've had the detailed anomaly scan and amnio.

    I've no idea when my OH will be telling his Dad, I doubt it will be anytime soon though.
     
  13. USAF_WIFE

    USAF_WIFE Well-Known Member

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    Hope the calls go well! On a side note Lottie I see why you are so afraid to tell your family and I think you are an amazing mom! I read your story about your son and while I see there will be concerns I hope you get support and well wishes for this pregnancy!
     
  14. SamiraNChris

    SamiraNChris Hayden & expecting #2 :D

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    hope your calls go well hun! i had the same with my dad! he is north african and has very stong values about marriage and also about me being with an english man even though I am english (my mum is english, he is libyan but they are now separated)

    He is totally against children before marriage and he is also extremely protective so when i told him i was shitting myself! I burst into tears when I told him and he was holding his head and shaking it and then went on to tell me how im ruining my life bla bla bla!! and he still isnt happy about it to this day! i work with my dad so see him daily and he has mentioned it twice since i told him at 8 weeks but at least he has accepted it!

    When you tell them - if they are judgemental just tell them how happy you are and how much you and OH want it and if they stay the same afterwards just let them be! thats what I did! I just think that in 6 months time my dad will see his grandson / daughter and be over the moon and in love! At the end of the day they want what is best for us and they are probably thinking were not ready or something! im nearly 25 and he treats me like im 16 still!

    Let us know how it goes - you may be very surprised!! xx
     
  15. kazb25

    kazb25 Well-Known Member

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    good advice i still havnt told my family yet so i think i will do as u did and be really REALLY R-E-A-L-L-Y positive about it so they cant be negative
     
  16. Bebe1

    Bebe1 Well-Known Member

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    So far so good! I knocked out three calls last night. After the initial shock, they offered to babysit ;)

    It's the waiting time until baby's here that is the hard part I think. Once he arrives everyone will be madly in love with him. But during the pregnancy there will be lots of uncomfortable conversations :)
     
  17. Purple_poppy

    Purple_poppy Well-Known Member

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    :) This is the beginning. Being a parent you will endure a TON of judgement, from everyone. A ton of "this is what you should do". Everyone thinks they know best ;)

    But remember, you know best. Consider this practice for what's to come! Be confident in your role.. being it pregnant, or a Mother. Head up and smile. You know best!
     

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