has this happened to you, when you had your LO's?

[Aidan's Mummy]

BF shouldn't be hidden away

FF shouldn't be hidden away

the decision to BF should be supported as should the decision to FF should be

How hard is that??

x

 

[pinklightbulb]

BF shouldn't be hidden away

FF shouldn't be hidden away

the decision to BF should be supported as should the decision to FF should be

How hard is that??

If you mean me I didn't mean FF should be hidden away, just that the choice for some mums who are undecided/struggling can be swayed by having FF equipment so readily available if it is right in front of them and BF is still at all possible. Like I said my decision would have been heavily influenced by seeing FF stuff right there waiting when I was struggling so much to carry on BFing. So I am grateful that FF equipment was kept out of sight and I still stand by saying that if it helps just one mum to persevere/try to BF it is worth it.
I am not at all saying that FF should be discouraged or made to feel like the second best choice if Mum wants to/chooses to/has no option but to FF. Quite the opposite, the choice should be there and not frowned upon or anything like that, just not right there in front of mums, especially ones like myself who would have been so easily broken down by seeing it and given up because it seemed the easier choice at the time. For what it's worth I FF my son now and that is the right choice for me now, but it wasn't back then because I was capable of BF and just needed that push to keep going.

 

[tu123]

Speaking from experience with ward budgets most pre filled formula on the wards is provided free by the manufacturer. Probably a marketing issue. Most breast pumps are free too. Probably a marketing issue.

No point hiding the formula everyone knows it is there (unnkess told otherwise during antenatal care). Women are tired and wired up post birth not stupid.

What all these threads highlight is the need for more staff and more staff with adequate training for supporting mothers to breastfeed if that is hwat they want to do.

Simple as that. Like most things in the NHS it comes down to inadequate staffing.

If i had had the help i needed to breastfeed i still wouldnt be on a pump for 3hrs a day and supplementing with formula-most expensive way to feed! £40 a mth for pump, then accessories, then formula.....

That poor woman in the original OP is probably mentally still recovering from the humiliation and cruelness of her treatment and experience post what should have been the most amazing moment of her life.

 

[vaileasmama]

i dont really think its fair that for one person to succeed another person has to fail ifykwim! i am fully pro bf, but to punish one mama so another can bf is just ridiculous!
the treatment she received is disgusting.
imo the nurses should give a bf mama a little more credit - no glimpse of formula would change my mind!
how stupid

 

[AP]

Formula should be out of sight?
Because of this belief some people have, mums are suffering with lack of knowledge over how they can help their babies with reflux and colic. It was only via the internet i learnt of our formula. It was only the other week soneone posted about a mum who genuinley thought formula was just an expensive powder version of cows milk, so she used cows milk from birth.

Midwives cant speak of it. Formula companies cant advertise. Slowly we are going to end up in a messy offensive situation. Its these things that are slowly creating such a big divide between BF and FF mums.

I believe we should all be given information on all methods of feeding, parents can be left to make their own informed information. And we should never have to deal with the sitation the op explained just because of our own choices.

 

[pinklightbulb]

FF info should be as readily available I totally agree with that. It is just as valid of a choice as BFing is. If you want the info about FFing ask for it? I don't see why it was said that for one to succeed another has to fail and I never condoned the treatment the OP's cousin got? I just think if it improves BFing rates--which let's face it are dismal-- why shouldn't it be done? It's not like I'm saying they shouldn't have FF equipment or be forced to BF. Just that some mums truly are undecided and if just one of them decides to try and BF that should be a good thing. Seeing things in front of you that look so much easier especially when you are in a lot of pain will look tempting, that's the point I was trying to make. Never said anything about someone else having to fail... if FF stuff is there surely Mum can ask for it, it doesn't have to be right in front of her for her to do that?

 

[ouchwithNo.2]

I had planned to breastfeed both of mine, albeit not for long, I knew I would switch to formula but wanted to do a couple of weeks at least.
I had a crap birth (with both, but my first was the worst), induced twice, epidural after hours of agony with a B2B labour which nobody told me, wired up to the monitor all the time so no walking about, pethidine, ventouse failed twice, babys heart rate dipping and then cut with forceps as a final emergency, next step was going to be a section.
I was shattered but I still planned to breastfeed.
I couldn't move when I was finally moved onto the ward due to the epi and they had put LO in the crib at the END of my bed so when he cried with hunger I couldn't move to get him, totally paralysed.
The buzzer was out of reach and it was about 4am so I wouldn't be too popular yelling..
Finally I saw a cleaner and I asked if she would pass LO to me, which she did (really wasn't her job was it?!) and I tried to feed him.
He was trying hard to latch on, frantic, but it wasn't happening.
By this point he was yelling the ward down, me struggling as I was half paralysed and slipping down the bed (couldn't reach the adjust thing either).
A midwife came onto the ward to see what all the fuss was about and I explained the problem - how I couldn't get LO, reach the buzzer or anything and now he wouldn't latch on.
She took my son and re-positioned him quite roughly I thought and grabbed my boob and put it in his mouth he was still crying and struggling to feed. She told me to keep trying and off she went!
After what felt like hours of screaming we still weren't getting anywhere, baby was hungry but almost CIO on the ward!
A student midwife came along and she was only young, probably younger than me and was ever so nice, sat me down comfortably, got me a drink (which I couldn't reach) held LO whilst I explained what had happened. She sat with me for the next half hour trying to get my son to feed. Eventually it worked but he was so tired he fell asleep before a decent fill.
The next day we were back to square one, the nasty midwife came in and ordered me to have a shower (still couldn't stand and my catheter still in) so OH had to carry me in whilst the lady next to me kept and eye on my baby who was asleep!!!
When I came back he was hungry again and I had decided enough was enough I wanted a bottle so I asked the nasty midwife, she refused - told me breast is best and it will take time. I said I had been trying all night and for some reason he wasn't latching right and fussing.
Finally I got my bottle after asking another midwife who again reminded me about the importance of BF but didn't have the time to help.
Long story short, I tried again when we got home and it still wasn't working, even mum triedto help me.
Weeks later turned out my son had bad tongue tie and nobody picked it up.....

 

[AP]

That is so sad ouch from having lack of support physically, lack of breastfeeding support and then the cow refuses to give you a bottle because 'breast is best' (when she couldnt be arsed to support that statement) and when you made that decision to use formula, they should have honoured that too. Proper fail she was.

My goodness, you brave lass

 

[annawrigley]

Speaking from experience with ward budgets most pre filled formula on the wards is provided free by the manufacturer. Probably a marketing issue. Most breast pumps are free too. Probably a marketing issue.

No point hiding the formula everyone knows it is there (unnkess told otherwise during antenatal care). Women are tired and wired up post birth not stupid.

What all these threads highlight is the need for more staff and more staff with adequate training for supporting mothers to breastfeed if that is hwat they want to do.

Simple as that. Like most things in the NHS it comes down to inadequate staffing.

If i had had the help i needed to breastfeed i still wouldnt be on a pump for 3hrs a day and supplementing with formula-most expensive way to feed! £40 a mth for pump, then accessories, then formula.....

That poor woman in the original OP is probably mentally still recovering from the humiliation and cruelness of her treatment and experience post what should have been the most amazing moment of her life.

This is the reason my mum refused to buy Cow & Gate,because thats what they'd given me on the ward. She said she refused to succumb to their blatant marketing ploy I couldnt really care less, but she bought Aptamil, which turned out to be the most expensive and hardest to find so after a couple of months I switched to Cow & Gate. He's still on C&G now, mother would be so ashamed!! (and on a serious note, she actually was ashamed of me for giving up BF.. everyone in our family BFs without a second thought)

 

[shortie1990]

I hated being in hospital, I had a catheter and couldn't move, and when I asked about how I go and was etc, (because I waited for visitors the first day and then sorted my self out so LO was with OH Or my mum etc) I got told to just leave him there :S
Also I didn't get any help with anything, luckily I didn't need it because everything came naturally to me,just was shocked how little they did!

 

[Kalah]

Speaking from experience with ward budgets most pre filled formula on the wards is provided free by the manufacturer. Probably a marketing issue. Most breast pumps are free too. Probably a marketing issue.

No point hiding the formula everyone knows it is there (unnkess told otherwise during antenatal care). Women are tired and wired up post birth not stupid.

What all these threads highlight is the need for more staff and more staff with adequate training for supporting mothers to breastfeed if that is hwat they want to do.

Simple as that. Like most things in the NHS it comes down to inadequate staffing.

If i had had the help i needed to breastfeed i still wouldnt be on a pump for 3hrs a day and supplementing with formula-most expensive way to feed! £40 a mth for pump, then accessories, then formula.....

That poor woman in the original OP is probably mentally still recovering from the humiliation and cruelness of her treatment and experience post what should have been the most amazing moment of her life.

This is the reason my mum refused to buy Cow & Gate,because thats what they'd given me on the ward. She said she refused to succumb to their blatant marketing ploy I couldnt really care less, but she bought Aptamil, which turned out to be the most expensive and hardest to find so after a couple of months I switched to Cow & Gate. He's still on C&G now, mother would be so ashamed!! (and on a serious note, she actually was ashamed of me for giving up BF.. everyone in our family BFs without a second thought)

I sort of know how you feel there, from the opposite side though. I'm the only one in my family to BF, my great grandparents might have, but I don't know that far back. All of my family just assumes I FF and always comment about making bottles etc.. and when I say something like "oh i don't use bottles" they're just baffled and stunned like I'm doing something crazy! I can tell my mom thinks it's a bit weird by the look on her face when I talk about it.

 

[highhopes19]

When I was in hospital after LO was born, the mums who were FF just rang their buzzers when it was time for a feed and the midwifes brought ready made up bottles - there was also a choice of formula types.

Same when I was in. Saved my bacon the night he was born as I was seriously struggling to feed him so a MW saved me and we topped him up with that. (After another MW made me cry by saying my baby was naughty for crying - Not what you need to hear after being awake for 36 hours)

they did this to her also, the night LO was born he was awake litrally all night from crying, a midwife came in took him and said she was taking him to the room for naughty babies. i know she was probably only trying to help her get some sleep, but i still thought he's a baby he's doing what a baby does cry.

it doesnt help that he might be hungry and frustrated waiting for a bottle that his mum has to walk about half a mile to make at 4 in the morning

 

[highhopes19]

you had to bring your own formula to the birthing centre i went to too, as far as i'm aware x

tbh i think that's how hospitals should be... why should FF mums get free formula? they didnt give me free breast pads!lol

i dont think hospitals should supply formula, but i do think they should have a spare few tins in hospital for those who planned on bf right up to birth but then found out they couldn't. someone might experience this and not have anyone able to bring formula to them at the hospital at the time, then whats a baby meant to do till then starve.

at this hospital they were giving free breast pads out to BF mums, but couldnt even help somone in so much pain they could hardly walk make a bottle

 

[highhopes19]

.

It may be good for you to walk around after surgery, but a patient should never be ignored, pushed into further pain and potential injury, or forced to fend for themselves. Ever. This story parallels Dragonfly's horrible hospital experience; that sort of treatment needs to be stopped, for all patients!

I think thats more the problem with this is that she wasnt helped. Its rather humiliating pissing the bed and further to that I had to clean it up and change the sheets, I couldnt even breath right. Never forget that midwife refusing to take william so I could at least try and get up. I left early as I would have been safer at home and I was I had round the clock help from other half.

Thats shocking, i must have bled through to my sheets without noticing (was in a total zombie haze) and a lovely MW came and was like "Would you like me to change your sheets love?" helped me out the bed and everything

you had to bring your own formula to the birthing centre i went to too, as far as i'm aware x

tbh i think that's how hospitals should be... why should FF mums get free formula? they didnt give me free breast pads!lol

Because when you go into labour unexpectedly, fully intending to BF, the last thing on your mind is going to buy some formula, just so it can be 'fair' on those who actually succeed in BFing.

Some of the attitudes on this thread are awful, and unsurprisingly all from mothers who seem to have had no problems BFing

i never once said it was ok for the hospital to make the poor woman walk far for formula,she should have put her foot down and demanded it be brought to her or asked for a porter!YES she shouldn't have to scream and shout but sometimes that's just the way things are in some hospitals!

I still stand by the thought that formula should be kept out of sight,it would be counter productive to have it in everyones face when the Government is trying to increase BF rates!

Also would like to correct you on the 'no problems BF' front!

With my first i had induction drip,laboured for 24 hours then had an emergency section,my wound had a bleed behind it and exploded on several occassions,my son was jaundiced,tired and on NICU for two days,we struggled and struggled to feed,and i ALMOST gave up,but after finding a BF helpline i managed to carry on,we had an advisor visit us and never looked back..With my second i had him 8 weeks early,emergency c-section due to breech presentation,he was on NICU for two weeks during which time i had to express two hourly day and night he was also in a hospital 40 min drive away!He has since had a slow weight gain and we have only just (at 5 months) solverd his feeding issues ,which are tongue tie (now snipped) and silent reflux!
BF has in no way been all sunshine and roses for us so perhaps you shouldn't be so presumptious in future!

My point regarding free Formula is directed at Mum's who go in expecting it when they plan on FF,not the 'emergency bottle' that mums who want to BF then change their minds need.

My local hospitals stock two different kinds of ready made formula in the bottles with disposable teats.. if they spent the same amount on BF support as they did formula then there would be a lot less need for those 'emergency bottles'

Want to add also that it is a common misconception that baby needs to feed right after birth,full term,healthy babies come with a 'lunchbox' and can go 48 hours without a feed.. indeed some babies don't even ASK to be fed for a good 12/18 hours after birth!

my cousin didnt have the energy to shout or demand off them, so she struggled herself.

the hospital provided breast feeding mums with a breast pump and a couple of bottles, breast pads and their own top of the range steriliser all its own little breast feeding supplies room next to the reception.

FF mums had to walk half a mile to access the stuff to feed their babies which is unfair and in my eyes discrimination.

 

[highhopes19]

Urgh.. How did I know this thread would turn sour!?

It's always the same people too.

I can't believe that some people even seem to be either questioning what meds could have stopped OP's cousin from BF or trying to "out do" her on the circumstance front.

The treatment OP's cousin received was neglectful and out of order.

i exactly what i was thinking blaumba

it doesnt matter that she had a c-section or a natural vaginal birth, some people have a higher pain threshold than others some deal with it better than others,
it doesnt matter if she couldnt BF or she chose to FF in the first place, everyone is different and what a boring world we would live in if we were all the same.

i think FF and BF mums should recieve exactly the same amount of support.

why should FF equipment should be put away out of sight.
thats like a FF mum who wanted BF saying that BF mums shouldnt be allowed to do so infront of them

its a only formula and surely if its that bad for you wouldnt they stop selling it and come up with somthing else