Hate being a mum

[victoriav]

There is nothing about this job I like. The screaming, the fussy feeding, feeling like a prisoner in my own home, the constant arguments with husband , the drudgery and total loss of identity. I don't even like my baby, let alone love her. She's nearly three months and there's nothing rewarding. I wish someone would have warned me his awful it would be. Im so very unhappy and wish I could turn back the clock and decide not to have children. Is this it?

 

[Mummytobe85]

Don't want to read and run but sending you

 

[Lellow]

What your feeling is VERY extreme...Have you been to see your HV/GP about how your feeling?

 

[Dizzy321]

Think you need to go to the GP ... what your feeling is not right

 

[Louppey]

I agree with the other posters, I think you need to go to see a gp or your hv hun

 

[TattiesMum]

It's a big change becoming a Mum and I'm sad that you are feeling so bad right now ... it sounds to me like you might have PND Lellow is right - it might help if you talked to your doctor about how you are feeling

 

[MrsH86]

Oh hun, I felt like this in the beginning and want to say it gets better but for some those feelings don't just disappear and love for LO doesn't come easily. I think you should see your GP because you sound like you have postnatal depression and maybe that could benefit you. This isn't just it, it can improve I'm sure x

 

[bigbetty]

Hun it sounds like you have severe PND - you definitely need to speak to someone about it. If you ever need to just vent to someone, please feel free to pm me anytime - I'm usually popping on and off a few times a day xx

 

[victoriav]

I don't think it's to do with Pnd tbh, I just don't think I'm cut out for this job. And there's nothing I can do about it. I Don't even know why I posted to be honest, just wanted to get it off my chest. Is it really that extreme?

 

[prettykitty]

I didnt want to r&r hun, forgive me firstly as LO is in other arm and typing one handed!

I was someone who said I never wanted kids, now I wouldnt swap it, I know thats not what you want to hear but it DOES and WILL get better. I can relate to your post in many ways - I dont go out as much as I used to in several ways, with friends, we moved areas too, It is harder since having a baby but most ppl will agree with that.

I try and get out to mum & baby group and meet others which has really helped, some days the lack of sleep is hard, and Id never spent a lot of time previously round kids so this was a major learning curve. But Ive "grown" to love my baby lots, its taken time, it didnt happen overnight. Have you spoken to anyone about you feel? do you have a partner or maybe a HV? Theyre normally very good

I try to get some fresh air too when the weather permits - even if its just a walk to the shops with the pram, I find it really helps. Remember your still you and can do things you used to. PM me anytime if you ever want to chat xxx

 

[minkymoo]

Hugs darling. I echo the other ladies: please speak to a professional. Lots of mums struggle at first and I know many who don't feel that rush of love for several months, with PND or not. It's a huge life-changing experience.

Is your ticker right? Are you pregnant again? How old is your LO? xxx

 

[sammiwry]

There is nothing about this job I like. The screaming, the fussy feeding, feeling like a prisoner in my own home, the constant arguments with husband , the drudgery and total loss of identity. I don't even like my baby, let alone love her. She's nearly three months and there's nothing rewarding. I wish someone would have warned me his awful it would be. Im so very unhappy and wish I could turn back the clock and decide not to have children. Is this it?

Hun, I can fully symapthise as I felt and still do often feel this way. I can only echo the girls in that you need to speak to someone you can trust and you need to be honest with them. They won't judge you and they'll be able to put you in touch with people and groups who can help. *hugs*

 

[mummy2lola]

There's feeling a little bit sad and then there's extreme feelings Hun and I really think u need to go to ur gp as u may have pnd xx

 

[Lellow]

I don't think it's to do with Pnd tbh, I just don't think I'm cut out for this job. And there's nothing I can do about it. I Don't even know why I posted to be honest, just wanted to get it off my chest. Is it really that extreme?

Yes what you've stated you feel is very extreme.
If you dont think its PND, your best bet is to speak to a professional to establish why your feeling this way.
PND would be the usual indicator of why your feeling this way but you dont seem to agree.

 

[SP1306]

I think you should talk to someone- dr or HV- it does sound extreme to me how you are feeling and that they might be able to offer you support and help xx

 

[MrsH86]

It's quite normal to be in denial of PND. Who wants to admit they have depression in any form. Even if what your feeling is not labelled PND, what you are feeling isn't right and you shouldn't have to live a life you hate. You should be proud that you have got it out, even on a forum, sometimes just writing it down can help x

 

[Prinny_1]

Being a Mum is very very hard and I had moments at the start where it felt very frightening mainly because I was scared I couldn't do it and that I would do something wrong that would harm my LO. This started to ease though as time went on. I think if you haven't started to feel better over 3 months that might be because of PND and it might be worth having a word with your doctor as others have suggested. x

 

[Hippietea]

Didn't want to r&r, I honestly think you will feel a lot better if you speak to your HV or GP, but it can take time once you're on the road to recovery for the feelings to go away, so don't give up. I don't want to tell you what you should or shouldn't be feeling, but from what you say, it does sound like PND.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I agree with the other ladies. Three months in and you're still feeling that extreme about it means something isn't quite right. I had baby blues the first week or so and my MW had me go to the GP, but they didn't say it was PND because it was too early to tell. 6-8 weeks into it, I felt much better. I would seek help. Sometimes we are in denial about PND because it makes us feel like bad mommies. I hope you get some help or insight.

 

[Babushka99]

It does get easier and you will adjust to being a mum and feel better. The early days are very very hard and nobody actually warns you how difficult it actually can be. But you will see as lo gets older they are more fun. x