hate days like this......

[louloubelle76]

When Im thinking about the ex who clearly doesnt want to know about his child

We broke in June and week after we split I found out I was 4 weeks pregnant, Ive contacted him a number of times and he hasnt even acknowledged the fact I am pregnant, I sent him a picture of the test and still nothing.

Why can someone be like this

 

[Kayles1/8/08]

hey lou lou! how are u? no improvement on this then? hes a waste of time!! just look forward to enjying ur pregnancy and having ur beuatiful little bundle at the end all to urself ! xxxxxxxx

 

[loveangel]

thats very bad,

 

[babydue2011]

im sorry to hear. it is very hard. i was with my ex for 3 1/2 years, got preg and now nothing to do with me or baby. could careless, has new gf and says he has moved on. it does sadden my heart but i know i need to be strong. i have good days and bad. and nobody will ever understand your sadness for somebody who doesnt care at all. i hope things work out for you. looks like were are in the same boat.

 

[louloubelle76]

tryed contacting him again and still nothing, my mum reckons he thinks im pulling the pregnancy card, so we shall see when I send him a scan pic.

it is horrible but we have to be strong x

 

[emf81]

He sounds like my sperm donor (he doesn't behave like a father so that's what I call him), I hope he does come round and be there for your baby, but make sure your prepared for the fact he might not. Iv kept sperm donor updated both scans and he just ignores me gutted and it hurts every time you get no response. Big hugs xx

 

[nomadlife]

 

[louloubelle76]

Ive decided that Im going to send him a scan pic and see what happens from then and still nothing i will contact him once little bean is here.

It is horrible, last night I spend most of the night crying over him, and i know for a fact he isnt bothered about me

 

[surprisebaby]

Hi LouLoubelle,

Sorry to hear what has been happening to you. I have been in a very similar situation to yours, but now my LO is 14 months old. I was absolutely devastated when it happened to me, So thankful to be pregnant but so gutted that the person i had gone out with and loved (we had dated for about a year) just wiped me out of his life as soon as he heard I was pregnant. I stupidly texted him the news as soon as I found out (I was home at the time (scotland) and he was back in Belfast. From that moment he decided to cut me and our child off (he never answered any calls, came to any scans...just cut off all contact..... so I can understand how it feels for you to have no acknowledgment. it's extremely hurtful. It's so hard to understand why someone can't just communicate with you even if it's something bad it would be so much better than nothing... just the waiting is horrendous. It's so cruel.

My advice would be to try and focus on yourself and LO (you'll hear this a lot), when people said that to me, I didn't like that, because I liked to think about FOB and what he might be thinking or feeling etc, the best way to get him to act the way i wanted... it didn't help too much, but maybe a process you have to go through. What did feel better was when i did face up to being on my own and moving on.

But to do that I felt i needed answers and acknowledgment. I wasn't happy to just let things pass. I wanted to see him face to face, So (because he was hiding from me) i did everything I could to force a meeting between myself and FOB and that did help me a lot. I needed that closure. So I would recommend GOING to see him in person. Not phoning, texting or emailing....but go and find him, and have it out with him. you deserve to have that conversation.

There are a lot of reasons why he might be ignoring you. my fob told me when I asked (10 months later when i finally got a chance to see him in person), was that he had to stop all contact with me because he had to cut us both off because he didn't want a child. also he said he wasn't sure if i might have a miscarriage... (so one reason for not contacting is because he may be hoping you get the hint to have an abortion... sorry if that sounds horrible... just what happened to me... thats what my FOB hoped would happen... take away any support so I would feel thats what I had to do....of course there was no way i was going to do that)

ok long reply there....p.s don't focus on trying to encourage him to be there for you... you shouldn't have to do that at all. it's a waste of your time and energy and you can't change someone's mind like that. better to accept....ok sorry if i'm giving too much advice there.. ok by for now and good luck

 

[louloubelle76]

surprisebaby thank you for that really nice post, it did help alot, ive decided not to contact him anymore as it only hurts more when i dont hear from him.

I number of people have said to me maybe he doesnt believe that im pregnant at all so we shall see when i send him the 1st scan.

I dont really want to go and see him as he lives over a hour away and there isnt any guarantee he will be there also i dont want to see him with someone new lol

I just have to let it be and move on and just think about me and bean at the moment, things might change with him but i doubt it, he has made it quite clear

x

 

[lily2011]

oh hunnie

I know exactly how you feel, but I promise it will get easier as your pregnancy progresses. Right now you are dealing with the hurt and the shock that someone could be so heartless. I too, tried very hard in the beginning to get FOB to care, but to no avail. I sent him 12 week scan, nothing. Then 20 week scan, nothing. I used to cry every night. He did send a few texts telling me how much he hates me though for keeping the baby. And then you know what, I got this beautiful 30 week 3D scan done, and I didn't even want to show him!!

I have a beautiful lil angel all to myself very soon and his life sucks!!!

We are all here to support you!

 

[surprisebaby]

surprisebaby thank you for that really nice post, it did help alot, ive decided not to contact him anymore as it only hurts more when i dont hear from him.

I number of people have said to me maybe he doesnt believe that im pregnant at all so we shall see when i send him the 1st scan.

I dont really want to go and see him as he lives over a hour away and there isnt any guarantee he will be there also i dont want to see him with someone new lol

I just have to let it be and move on and just think about me and bean at the moment, things might change with him but i doubt it, he has made it quite clear

x

Its just so frustrating that the only thing you can do in a way is just move on, because ideally you want to change the situation to what you want (as in getting him to acknowledge pregnancy,show respect to you by answering your calls etc, taking responsibility for his part in this instead of running away).

That's understandable you don't want to go through and see him, if he might be with that other person. I suppose every situation is different. I definitely felt I had to go and see my FOB, but maybe in your situation, you are going to find it easier to just move on without seeking closure. And perhaps it'll happen of it's own accord and he'll start to contact you.

I sent scan pics, and got no reply. Have no idea if he even looked, but I too thought that was important to show 'proof' not that you would make it up or anything, but to make it more real for FOB and to (i suppose) leave no doubt to FOB that you are definitely pregnant. It might get through to him. Hope so.

What also helped me with the being hurt part (the rejection) was to remember all the people I was obsessed with in the past and how now I just don't fancy them at all, so it just goes to show that that can happen again (not sure if you still like him in that way at all), also normally rebound relationships (which his new relationship is) generally don't last. Perhaps whilst he is into this new relationship it is distracting him and taking his focus away from his issues and responsibilities... like some people do with drugs etc, and when he breaks up or when they start to have problems that's when he'll contact you. I don't know just guessing. But there's me analysing your situation... prob best trying not to think about him too much. Obviously you can't help it to a certain extent but as long as more and more time is focused away from his direction.... it WILL make you feel tons better when you have some other focus (not saying you don't have other things going on, but when you are in this kind of situation it completely dominates your whole life) and your new life with LO is obviously a good start there. sorry another long post!!

 

[mskellydenise]

He's not worth the trouble...enjoy your pregnancy and then your lo...sounds like your better off without him!