Hate people who downplay labor!

[Samiam03]

Ugh I just need to vent. I just had a status pop on my newsfeed of a girl who was saying she wished she was brave enough to have a natural birth and another girl replied saying she would never do it without medication...and then as they continued to talk they started saying how labor doesn't hurt at all and is so easy and how their broken toe hurt worse than labor. Are you kidding me? Of course labor didn't hurt! You both had an epidural the moment you walked in the door of the hospital!

It just makes me so mad because I worked hard to get my natural birth and it was the hardest and most rewarding thing I ever did in my life and to have someone who never experienced the ring of fire or transition totally downplay it makes me mad!

Just had to let that rant out because I have no where else to say it.

 

[LegoHouse]

My second labour didn't hurt too bad. I remember saying a short while before he was born that I'd had toothache worse than my contractions. I had no pain relief at all. I was singing to myself in my head whilst I pushed to distract myself from the pain.

To be honest my labour the first time around hurt more when I had gas and air and was out of control and panicked.

 

[NaturalMomma]

Everyone is different. ds2's unmedicated homebirth didn't hurt. Transition was intense, but I have to admit that a toothache is worse than *my* birth with ds2. I had no ring of fire either. I might not be as lucky with this one though, it could hurt worse than ds2's and I could have ring of fire, I'm sure I jinxed myself

 

[SarahBear]

Haha, how ridiculous. You should ask them why they needed all the medication if labor is so easy

Also, I didn't think labor was too bad, but then again I think I had an easy labor.

 

[Sam Pearson]

Yeah, when you have abdominal surgery with anesthetic it doesn't hurt at the time but you can sure as hell bet if somebody cut your stomach open with a knife it would sting a little. Duh.

 

[Samiam03]

Everyone has different pain thresholds and different labors and I just don't think people who got epidurals at 4 cm should be commenting on how natural birth is nothing.

I myself had a very painful and unbearable birth...it was a precipitous birth and contractions started at 3 minutes apart and an hour later were 30 seconds apart and extremely intense. It upsets me to see people act like what I went through was nothing.

And I don't quite understand the abdominal surgery comment? I didn't say anything about csections...that's a whole different ball field.

 

[tinkerbelle93]

I think that it's different for everyone. I managed to get to 8cm without pain relief and found the pain excruciatingly awful but bearable if that makes sense? I had to have a spinal for emergency forceps after that so will not know whether I would have been able to go right until the end without pain relief, although I doubt I would have because at 8cm was about the highest pain I could bear! Everyone seems to have different opinions though.

I do agree though that people who have epidurals and other drugs right from the onset can't exactly comment on raw, unmedicated labour. The difference between before and after the spinal injection was huge- before it I was writhing in extreme pain then the minute after I had it, I felt nothing at all, no pain whatsoever! There is no way I could compare those two states! I can understand why you're annoyed. xx

 

[Sam Pearson]

And I don't quite understand the abdominal surgery comment? I didn't say anything about csections...that's a whole different ball field.

I didn't say anything about c/sections. My point was that when you take pain relieving drugs you don't experience pain.

 

[Samiam03]

Oh yeah. Sorry I thought you were talking about csections.

 

[lynnikins]

my first birth was by far the most painful of them all because i failed myself in keeping calm and in control , i panicked and tensed up , the second was painful too but not as much as the first because i did a better job than the first time and the third well i can honestly say ive had back spasms and toothache worse than what that labour was, the most i had in any of them was G&A and nothing with the third I had just learnt how to manage it more for myself, it does annoy me when people who take every medication offered make it sound like labour is easy though because its hardly easy

 

[Sam Pearson]

Oh yeah. Sorry I thought you were talking about csections.

No, I'm totally in agreement with you. Those women are being ridiculous. I've leave them to their bullshit and move on.

 

[aliss]

I've heard a few times on here, women saying that labour didn't hurt because they had an epidural but then the soreness was shocking after (ie their vagina). See, I never felt the after-soreness to be bad with my natural birth. It must be quite shocking to go from pain-free to having to deal with the reality of postpartum.

I must say, my home birth was intensely painful, although it was 12 hours back to back so perhaps that is why (my 1st birth was an induction/epi around 5cm so no comparison).

Still, the pain of the natural birth was much more pleasant than the cascade of interventions and eventually harsh recovery of the first. I'll take my body's brief natural pain than the unnatural recovery of someone cutting your vagina with scissors, thanks! Once the baby popped out with the natural birth, I felt like myself instantly.

I don't like to use the phrase "make a rod for your own back" but with labour, I really do think sometimes it applies when people rush for pain relief!!!

 

[Dragonfly]

Both my labours where very painful and I was on an epu for my first and it didnt work, ended in emergency c section. I was in immense pain. Second time I was in agony when I didnt knowI was in labour at 2cm and even people have said I was I must have been having the wrong attitude which to me a horrible thing to say. I dread this labour and cant afford all these hypnobirthing stuff so looks like I will be in agony again. Probably end up in another spinal where I will be told I failed to naturally birth and dont know what pain is. Despite the reason I was given what I had because of the pain. Great if you can do it all and say it wasnt painful, wish I could say the same but others have gone through hell.

 

[lozzy21]

I had nothing but gas and air once i was 9cm, am i allowed to say i did not think it hurt that bad. lol The cramp i got in my leg in labour was worse than the contractions.

 

[Dragonfly]

I had nothing but gas and air once i was 9cm, am i allowed to say i did not think it hurt that bad. lol The cramp i got in my leg in labour was worse than the contractions.

I dont think any one means that. I think when people play down that persons pain ie "oh you are exaggerating " etc Not you but hope you know what I mean.
I think its great just gas and air, hope that happens to me this time.

 

[ljo1984]

My first was just awful I just thought yeh I'll be fine but I panicked and couldn't cont the pain, then when I got to hospital I was put on pitocin and that was just the worst pain I could ever imagine, I was on gas and air for hours before giving into epidural.
Dd2 was all natural, I had looked into hypnobirthing and used a TENS and yeh it hurt but it I was totally in control of it and found it easy peasy in comparison, didn't loose it in transition, I was in the back of an ambulance during that time, I had gas and air for the journey and started feeling pressure but still calm and in control. I did push too hard but that's something to keep in my mind not to do next time. I wouldn't say it was pain free but a million times better but that was due to my state of mind, calm, relaxed and in control. I'd rather that than an epi any day of the week

 

[ljo1984]

Both my labours where very painful and I was on an epu for my first and it didnt work, ended in emergency c section. I was in immense pain. Second time I was in agony when I didnt knowI was in labour at 2cm and even people have said I was I must have been having the wrong attitude which to me a horrible thing to say. I dread this labour and cant afford all these hypnobirthing stuff so looks like I will be in agony again. Probably end up in another spinal where I will be told I failed to naturally birth and dont know what pain is. Despite the reason I was given what I had because of the pain. Great if you can do it all and say it wasnt painful, wish I could say the same but others have gone through hell.

I didn't pay out for all this hypnobirthing classes etc, I just got a cd, put it on my I phone and used that, listened to it 4-5 times a week from about 16 week. Totally helped. I didn't listen to it in labour (apart from when I was pushing oh put it on!! He got a very evil look and quickly turned it off ha ha) but I did the breathing and bits from it stuck in my mind and they got me through each contraction.

 

[amjon]

I didn't have any pain meds (other than a Tylenol) until about 10 minutes before my daughter was born (and that was only because I was uncomfortable/ tired and just wanted to lie down). I had no idea I was in active labor. I thought I was just getting the cramps they told me the Cytotec could cause. They were pretty much constant though. I only had 2 hours of ANY pain and that was nothing worse than AF type cramps. I went from 2cm to delivery in the 2 hours. The doctor told me he would be back in 12 hours to check my progress and I delivered 2 hours later.

 

[kerrie24]

Ive had 3 babies with nothing stronger than gas and air,quick easy labours (longest one being 6 hours) and ive delivered a back to back 10.5lber.I coped because I had to,but I would never tell anyone it didnt hurt or it was easy,because Ive never been in as much pain in my life!

 

[aliss]

I'm of 2 minds about it- on one hand, it has been shown that women with more fear/anxiety about labour actually experience more pain, but on the other hand, isn't it something like half of all home birth transfers are for pain relief in first time mothers? I wonder what would be the best way to prepare them for the actual pain without scaring them?

What I *always* hear from first time mothers (and rarely from second, third+) is "I have high pain tolerance". Well, as most of us know, pain tolerance is not really how one gets through labour??

I admit, I made it through 12 hours back to back labour without anything, I even refused sterile water injections (home birth), but I did it because I was so terrified of interventions which ruined my previous birth. So, it wasn't visualization or anything that got me through it, it was fear of the hospital!

Plenty of wussies will do it without any pain relief, 'high pain tolerance' might cry for an epidural right away, and some of us (me) weren't able to do one without it, but found it easy to refuse pain relief in another labour.

Not really sure how it would be best to help them...?