hate these feelings of jealousy..

[lusterleaf]

Hi, just looking for an ear, I guess... I am approaching 1 year of coming off BC to TTC. I hate instead of feeling happy for others that are pregnant in my life, these feelings of jealousy consume me. Recently my cousin who is 10 weeks along posted her sono pic on Facebook along with an announcement, and I didn't want to "like" or even congratulate her, and I know this is so wrong. I also have another cousin who is 6 months along and knows the gender of her child but is waiting until Christmas Eve when we are all together at my aunt's house to announce the gender. I honestly am thinking of skipping Christmas Eve with my relatives and instead going to DH's family's house, because I don't know how I am going to handle it... plus my aunts always ask me, "when are you having a baby?" and that stings so much, each time they ask... I know I am being silly but I guess I just needed somewhere to vent. Thanks for listening!

 

[Miss Mitch]

Hugs to you hun My best friend is over a year ttc and has pcos and she also finds it very hard, i'm sure you aren't the only one xx

 

[inaru816]

I know the feeling. I am the oldest among my siblings and when the youngest got pregnant I was miserable. But you just have to believe that your turn will come.

I have been TTC for two years with no success. Hoping this cycle is the one.

 

[Damita]

I know the feeling

 

[Zekeyboo11]

hey ya know that feeling ive been trying for 27months now and my friend was also having trouble conceiving she had been trying for 2years i suppose i natually thought id fall pregnant first after all we had been trying longer but no.. she's pregnant nearly 6months and my another friend said it only took her two months.. yeah bummer well JEALOUS!! DEFO not fair x

 

[cooch]

What your feeling is normal. As unfortunately you are one of us on here who has been dealt the short straw! It sucks. Don't beat yourself up about it xx

 

[Armywife84]

Normal. I wish I could say the feelings go away, but they seem to get worse the longer you go in your journey (at least for me).

If you feel like you can't handle Christmas with them, then just spend it with DH's family. You shouldn't be unhappy and miserable during these times. Do what's best for you.

 

[wonderstars]

I hear ya. I wish I knew what to do but I don't. 2 of my close girlfriends are pregnant, my other girlfriend just gave birth and a coworker just got knocked up.

Echoing Armywife, you have to do what's best for you.

 

[readyformore]

Totally normal.

On Christmas several years ago, I was ttc my first. My 1 year old niece showed up in a shirt that said, "I'm going to be a big sister".
I hugged them and was talking just as excited as everyone else. Inside, I was very shaken up.
I cried all the way home.

Her baby was 7 months old before I finally got pregnant.
I also had 2 friends in that time that started ttc after I did, conceived prior to myself, and delivered prior to me even conceiving.

It's very hard to see others get something that you want so bad and no matter what you do, it seems just out of reach.

 

[Skoer1360]

It's normal, don't feel like you have to force Christmas if you don't want to go.

Does your family know you're LTTTC? Mine don't even know we're trying so that makes it harder around those that don't know since they don't understand. I found that telling people in my journal in the ttc forums helped me get over some of my jealousy or atleast make it more bareable to be around SIL's pregnancy.

 

[purplesparkle]

I get like that too seems like all my cousins have either had a baby this year or have found out they are pregnant wish I didn't feel jealous but i do I dread goinng to family do's as everyone asks when are you going to have a baby. my OH'S Uncle said to us last christmas that we should have a baby this time next year just because his neice gave birth on xmas day. not looking forward to seeing everyone at xmas this year at all

 

[dodgercpkl]

It's totally normal. I had to stop looking at wedding forums because of all the "we've been trying for 2 seconds and now we're pregnant" posts. It drove me nuts! Why them and not me? Then I got nervous about feeling that way when 3 people that I'd been jealous of (but gritted my teeth and congratulated anyway) had trouble. Two had miscarriages (one of them twice!) and one is fine, but I felt so horrible for being jealous of them and then have something like that happen!

 

[nevernormal]

It's normal for those feelings to come up, just don't let them consume you. We all have our sad days of thinking "Why me?" (maybe "Why NOT me?" is more accurate?). It's important though not to drag down others in their joy, and try to cherish every minute you get to spend with your family, friends and their little ones. One day you will be glad you didn't miss all those little moments of joy by letting anger, sadness, and bitterness consume you.

I can't count how many people I know who've had surprise pregnancies/babies. My old lab partner (who got married 2 weeks before me!) is pregnant... not sure how far along but she knows it's a girl. Another couple I know should be in their 2nd trimester by now... but I remember when they said they didn't want kids! I just went to a childhood friend's baby shower on Saturday. My best friend got pregnant with her little girl the exact cycle I went off of bc and started trying. If everything had worked out the way I was hoping, our due dates would have been 1 day apart. Her daughter is 6 months and I'm so glad that I'm not missing out on the smiles and laughter that baby brings!

More than likely, my friend will be pregnant with her 2nd before I have my 1st. My sister plans to start trying for #1 sometime around May 2012, and it's looking more like she'll get pg before me! It's really hard (and sad) to get bombarded with everyone being pregnant all the time, but our time will come! Enjoy the moment, and enjoy sharing in others' blessings while you wait for one of your own

 

[star31]

Know how you all feel, i'm having a bit of a down day myself. TTC since April 2010 now.... Most of my friends are either pregnant or have a baby, it's really hard :O( x

 

[Lou32]

I've been TTC 3 years now and I'm sorry but it doesn't get any easier. I never thought it would come to this, but I hate feeling so bitter all the time. Can't see a way out other than getting preggers!!

 

[Cara89]

I know the feeling. I have had friends get pregnant, carry til they were OVERDUE and then deliver... all in the time that DF && I have been TTC #1. Jealousy happens. I just try and think that maybe they were trying as well and just didn't tell anyone. As much as I would like to ignore them and stay resentful I can't. I just love bumps/babies wayyy too much. Haha.

It's tough, but you need to do what helps you through the tough times... and if that means avoiding the situation, then other people will just have to accept that.