Have you and your oh had this talk?

[Ceejay123]

Myself and my other half are in a great relationship, we love each other to pieces and don't plan in separating any time soon... We make plans for in 12-18 months time, we've lived together for years... Yet weve still had a talk on what will happen to my lo if we break up.

Is it weird that we've had this talk, or have you guys done it too?


My oh agreed that if we were to break up, riley would live with me so long as I didn't try to deny him access. He understands I do more for riley and that he is more attached to me, as much as he also loves his daddy. He knows that it is in Riley's best interests to be with me rather than him x

 

[starangel27]

Hi

yeah we have had the talk but mostly to agree we would never stop the other one having access.

 

[dgirllamius]

We have. Wasn't the best conversation. My OH would prefer I stayed in Germany but that's not really an option so I'd have to go back home. I wouldn't deny access and is visit him 4 times a year a d he'd visit 4 times also.

it's hard to come to an agreement when you come from a different country.

 

[Ceejay123]

My oh has another son that lives with his mummy, and oh finds this hard but realises its in his sons best interests, and I think he's adopted that outlook here iykwim? My son is also a huge mummy's boy.. He's always wanted a daughter and I get the feeling she would be a spoiled daddy's boy though haha. He loves his kids to pieces, but I think he's being grown up in realising that although he should always be there, it'd be best for him to take a back seat. Hpefully it never comes to that x

 

[Quackquack99]

We have and its agreed that Summer will stay with me even though she is such a daddys girl. We have a good friend who is being denied access by his ex missus and there is no way i could put my oh through that without strong reasons.

 

[Ceejay123]

We have and its agreed that Summer will stay with me even though she is such a daddys girl. We have a good friend who is being denied access by his ex missus and there is no way i could put my oh through that without strong reasons.

Completely agree. My little man loves his daddy.. So no matter how hurtful the breakup towards me, I have to deal with the fact that a bad boyfriend or ex doesn't mean a bad dad. That said, he's a great boyfriend so I'm hoping I never have to worry!

 

[Tegans Mama]

We have. We have more or less agreed that we will continue to live together as living apart would be impossible. I couldn't cope with Tegan by myself, and neither could she. If we broke up it would be an impossible situation really because neither of us would really be able to move on. I would go through counselling and try my very hardest to make things work before I ended things with her. If I intended to ever leave her I wouldn't have married her

 

[Bevziibubble]

Kind of. LO would stay with me and I would never stop DH seeing her, he's such a fab daddy.

 

[Missy86]

No but we have decided what happens if we both die

 

[Nats21]

We have yeah, Callum would stop with me but OH would be allowed to see him and he'd have set days when he'd see him. It is strange talking about it, we just kind of made jokes on why we'd split up i.e. my nagging!! xx

 

[RachA]

No we haven't at all. We have decided what happens if one or both of us dies.
Us breaking up isn't something we think about. The only reason OH would leave would be if he had an affair and if that was the case then i would be talking to my children to see what they wanted to do in relation to seeing me. If i was to leave OH i don't see any reason why we wouldn't do shared access, but i'm not planning on leaving any time soon.

 

[dani_tinks]

Nope, never discussed it.

 

[Kagerou]

Not at all, I can't even imagine having that talk?

We have discussed what'd happen if either of us got very sick/died though.

 

[Ceejay123]

I think the reason we had ours was because my Mum and her partner sat down and spoke about what would happen if my Mum died... My little sister would either live with me, or my sister in Germany. Her Dad has agreed he's best not to have her alone as he wouldnt cope, and is happy so long as he gets access. That brought up the whole discussion with my OH x

 

[lucy_x]

Nope. Never discussed it.

 

[KittyVentura]

Yes. Were the most stable couple I know but i think its imprtant to have this iscssion.

I would have soul custody unless I went insane. Ian knows he'd not be able to cope with them full time by himself and his job wouldn't permit it.

We also agree completely that, unless something serious like abuse or adultery took place, we owe it to our children o work on our marriage to the end. That if we were to just fall out of love, tough, while they are young we put our feeling aside to give them a stable family home they deserve.

And we've gone as far to discuss and agree that any new partners, if that were to happen, wouldn't get to meet the children until it was serious and we'd be extremely cautious who we let in their lives. We both agree that it wouldn't be fair to them to get involved with another who had children or have children with a new partner (nothing negative about those that do, it's just not a set up we want to inflct on our children).

It seems pointless as I truly believe well be together until old and wrinkly... We're both FAR too lazy to meet anyone new. But still, it's important we discussed it. Xx

 

[Lucasmum]

Yes, we actually had this talk last night, we discovered last night that couple whose children train with Lucas split up 4 weeks ago, we only found out as he is the club photographer and he turned up to do the Christmas photos, so I asked where his kids were and when he told me that she wouldnt bring them because he was there left me shell shocked!

We were talking about it saying how it seemed unfair on the kids missing out, because she wont be near him.

We then started talking about what would happen if it was us, we would hope to keep it friendly for Lucas' sake and even if we couldnt stand being in the same room as each other you can work round most situations.

 

[Pearls18]

No we haven't and wouldn't, I believe marriage is for keeps so wouldn't assume we'd be any other way, we have discussed if we died though.

 

[Mummy2B21]

We have discussed it very breifly. X

 

[tasha41]

Somewhat- he knows he can't have Elyse due to his work hours being unpredictable and the enormous childcare bills he'd have. I wouldn't deny him any sort of visitation with her though and would be open to her going to his house every weekend he's off work if he wanted that even.