Have You Considered This?

[RJsMum]

It has always been a thought in the back of my head that there is always the potential for my son (or any of my *future* children) to come to me one day to announce that they are homosexual. Now, I know this hits a nerve in some people regarding their own personal beliefs, but have you thought that those beliefs aside, how you might handle the situation?

I'm Catholic, myself, however I have no issue with anyone's sexual orientation, personally...even though I suppose it's not supported in my faith. I guess that is one aspect of it that I choose to look past. I also have an uncle who is gay and that has probably played a major role in my life growing up and my outlook on things. We (my siblings and cousins) teased about it when we were younger before we knew it was actually true...but then once I was old enough and more mature, I felt awful for how I acted. As a result, I became a part of an LGBT group in University as a straight-Ally. I knew my uncle never chose to be this way, after all, as far as I'm concerned I can't see why anyone would choose to put themselves in a position to be in a group that could be so hated and unaccepted by some in a society. It's still not something that's really openly discussed in my family so I suppose he's still "in the closet" even though we all know.

So it just made me curious if any of you have thought enough in advance that this could happen someday -- your child coming out to you? If so, would you rather they not come out to you and keep it to themselves (for anyone not comfortable) or will you have the kind of relationship where they can tell you anything and you will love them unconditionally?

I know it's a heavy topic, but I do think it is important to think about as it is a reality. I guess I would want my son (and any children to come) to feel and know that I will love them regardless and they can feel safe talking to me about it. I hate the idea of how someone would feel in an unsupportive family.

Thoughts?

ETA: Please keep this thread civil and respect other people's views. I think we're all adults here.

 

[charlotte-xo]

i want my son to be able to talk about absoloutley anything and everything with me...i hope to have the type of relationship that i have with my mum..i can tell her anything and shell support me 100% no questions asked. I think its a real shame when parents cant accept their children for who or what they are..if alfie comes to me in 16 years time and says mum im gay i wouldnt even bat an eye lid its his choice who he wants to be who he wants to be with..id never get in his way or stop him..i love him to much.
--x

 

[Youngling]

I would love my son no matter what. It wouldnt matter to me if he told me one day he was gay, I would support him whatever he decides to do with his life.
I hope that we have a close relationship that he feels he can tell me and doesnt feel he has to keep it to himself
x

 

[paula88]

I would support her no matter what. A person is not defined by there sexuality in my eyes. Total respect I have for the people that have the courage to come out especially in difficult circumstances. x

 

[iceylou]

good thread. going to keep this short and sweet lol.

i luv both my kids regardless of what they will do in the future. they can go to college or not, have kids or not, be straight or gay whatever makes them happy etc. once they dont turn out to be a murderer or hurt ppl. my priority is their happiness in whatever they do

 

[gemabee]

its wouldn't bother me in the slightest nd i hope that we have the kind of relationship were we can discuss anythin nd everythin with each other.
my family's very pragmatic nd thats the way i've been brought up... so i don't think it would be an issue for anyone.

 

[beanzean]

I don't see any difference in being hetro or homosexual really. I have loads of gay/ bi friends, also my MIL is a lesbian as is my step-daughters half sister. I will make it clear that every person is different in every aspect of their lives and hopefull portray it as being as normal as being hetro.

 

[Celesse]

I'm hoping that I can bring her up so she won't feel the need to "come out" so to speak, but will always be happy to tell me who she is dating. I don't think that it should be a big deal to her or me if she is dating a man or a woman.

I don't like to define people by who they fancy. I don't think sexuality can be defined as black and white. I think its all shades of grey and we are all capable of finding both sexes attractive or falling in love with someone of either sex if the circumstances in our lives are correct and especially when we are younger.

 

[Kalah]

I remember when I was about 13 and I told my mom I'm bisexual. She was shocked at first, speechless. She wasn't angry though, she told me it doesn't matter who I like she still loves me the same. She's never treated me any different at all and she feels comfortable talking about it and asking me silly questions like "omg I can't believe he likes that girl instead of me, she's not that good looking, would you do her Kalah?" Funny thing though the rule of girls staying the night but no boys didn't change
I would be the same! I would have no problems with my kid being gay or lesbian or anything else. I would 100% support them! If I had a boy and he wanted to be a girl not only would I help him find dresses that fit, I'd help him pay for gender change surgery!
When my friends found out I was bisexual all of them (except the other bi/lesbian girls and guys) treated me different. They all assumed since I like girls and they are girls that means I must like them like that. I stopped being invited to sleep overs and if I even just commented that a girl had a nice shirt she would be freaked out and walk away! I wouldn't want my kids to feel like they're lost me as well.

 

[wishuwerehere]

She's my baby and I love her. Being gay might just happen to be another part of her, it doesn't change anything IMO!

 

[Lottie86]

It wouldn't bother me at all if Findlay ever came and told me he was gay. My dad is gay although so far back in the closet he's in Narnia bless him (he was in the army so would have lost his job if he'd come out plus his mum is strict Irish Catholic and would disown him) and it doesn't bother me at all.

 

[AppleBlossom]

Being gay doesn't change who you are as a person. If she told me she was gay I really wouldn't mind as long as she was happy. I know that sounds like a cliche but it's true

 

[binxyboo]

I would like to think my son would be able to come to me for anything and I would totally support him if he was gay.
Unfortunately, I have a horrible feeling that my in-laws would disown him!
Last time we visited, my MIL kept going on about how he is going to be a scientist or (preferably) an engineer. I joked that he may be a gay dancer. MIL told me that it was cruel to wish such an awful thing on the poor boy and FIL said 'He ain't gonna be no Nancy-Boy'. It kind of left me quite shocked that they would say that.

 

[melorablack]

So long as it's legal my lo (and any future children) can be whatever they want to be and I will support them, as will dh.

 

[Mummy2Asher]

It wouldn't matter to me at all and I'd hope they tell me. My mum would say it was awful but that's her 'time'. I'm in my 20's and at school had friends who were gay. So I think it's why I don't feel it's an issue as nowadays many people are open about their sexuality.

 

[bathbabe]

My love wouldnt change for him or any future children that i may have. I feel sorry for people who dont feel like that x

 

[Bluetomato]

It wouldn't bother me if either if of my boys were gay (or daughter when she comes along), I want to bring them up feeling they can talk to me about anything. As long as they were being careful i.e safe sex, then I don't mind and as long as they are happy thats all that matters. Doms godfather is gay and is the nicest guy ive ever met (apart from dh obviously lol) and I can't work out for the life of me why he is still single!

 

[ttc_lolly]

I agree, it wouldn't change her or my love for her either - just as long as she was happy Jokingly, when we found out we were having a girl my OH said he would prefer her to be gay bless him, he doesn't like to think of her one day growing up and being with men!! Even my OH has no faith in the male species!! x

 

[NG09]

My parents allowed me to find the person I wanted to spend my life with, they didn't try to force me into being with someone I didn't want to be with because it made them happy. I plan on giving my son the same respect and hope that I bring him up in a way that he chooses to be with a good person who loves, treats him like he is the most special person in the world, makes him laugh and makes him happy regardless of their gender.

 

[LankyDoodle]

Yes I have, because my brother is gay so it's always there in my mind. I'm open-minded about it. She is what she is and can be what she wants to be within reason. I will support her whatever and try to advise her the best I can.