Have You Considered This?

[Kalah]

I think there are great generational differences.

If my dad had gone home and told his parents that he was gay - they would have disowned him.

If I'd gone home and told my parents that I was gay, they wouldn't haven't been overly happy- but they would accept it.

If my LO comes home and tells me she's gay - it wouldn't make a jot of difference to me.

that's a very good point, it seems to be getting more and more accepted over the years. i wouldn't be surprised if soon kids are just taught 'girls have boyfriends or sometimes girlfriends, and boys have girlfriends or sometimes boyfriends' and it can be seen as so normal that 'coming out of the closet' wouldn't even be a thing anymore. i'm actually a little surprised at how little i would care if she/he way gay. i'd just be like 'oh ok, i like girls too, what do you want for dinner?' although i guess i'm a little bias considering i'm bisexual

 

[RJsMum]

This has come up in conversation between my husband and me a few times; not so much in relation to Carmen but with any possible future sons. He and his family believe that being gay is disgusting, which pisses me off no end. OH said he doesn't care if Carmen turns out to be a lesbian (apparently it's only acceptable for woman?) but he couldn't stand it if any son of his was gay. It's horrible. I told him he's not to ever talk that way in front of Carmen, nor call things he doesn't like 'gay' or say 'eww' or whatever when he hears about a gay man. I'm not willingly exposing my daughter to such bigotry and ridiculousness from her own father.

What a tough position to be in, where one's OH has that kind of view. I think my DH's parents (namely his dad) would be a bit uncomfortable with the idea...but then that's down to something generational, I think, and as someone else mentioned. I do think it's good that you're putting your foot down that your OH isn't to be negative about it though.

 

[08marchbean]

it wouldnt bother me in the slightest. and i would hope she would have no quamms telling me either. my OH's brother is 16 and is clearly gay, he has come out to his mum, but hasnt told his dad and said he wont until he is no longer living with him. i think that is increadibly sad that he is scared to tell his dad. and i would never want my daughter (or future son) to go through the anguish of being terrified to tell me or of my reaction.

 

[lucy_x]

havent thought about it, but i can honestly say it wouldnt bother me

 

[zenmommy526]

My brother is gay, and he is my best friend. I have totally supported him and wouldn't be any different with my child. I remember how my mom reacted when she found out my brother was gay.

I feel like she rejected him and I felt so bad seeing that! If anything it made my brother and I closer because we can open up and talk about what boys we like.

If Liam told me he was gay it wouldn't change anything. I do love him unconditionally. And I would support him no matter what. Love is love no matter what sex, color, or religion you are. I love Liam so much, there is nothing in this world that would make me love him less.

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

Whatever he wants to do or be etc in the future is fine by me, so long as he's not endangering himself or is unhappy in any way. If he's happy, healthy and secure I'll be the proudest person alive!

 

[bambino156]

I love my daughter very much, her sexuality wouldn't bother me in the slightest, as long as she is happy.
My brother is gay and he 'came out' and told my family when he was only 16, he said he knew from when he was about 14. I love him so so much, regardless of his sexuality. I have so much admiration for him, seeing the obsticales he has overcome. He was a very tormented soul for a very long time, it literally tore him up, he just wanted to be 'normal' and he hated himself for being gay. But with the never ending love and support from my whole family, he has now came to accept himself and move on. It really upsets me when people are homophobic, as if someone can choose thier sexuality, like anybody would choose to torment themselves and make themselves a target for homophobic abuse.

 

[Hayley90]

I will love him regardless.

To me, "coming out" or bringing home his first girlfriend would be the same. Id be proud of him, happy for him... there is no difference to me.

I hope that he will be able to talk to me about anything, i really do - but i realise its rare in boys and so im hoping he at least feels he can talk to his dad about things too... i'd hate for him to be afraid or worried what our reactions would be.

xx

 

[cabaretmum2b]

I'm bisexual and have loads of gay friends, sexuality just isn't an issue to me. I'd like to think that my LO could talk to me about anything and I'd support her. I wouldn't feel disappointed or upset, I'd just be happy that she could be open with me and that she was happy.

 

[mrsthomas623]

This may be a little selfish on my part, but I secretly hope he will be gay. Then I would not have to compete with another woman!

I hope we are close enough that they will be no "coming out", I want him to always be completely comfortable with who he is and who he chooses to love.

 

[bambino156]

Its so heartwarming to read all the positive responses from you lovely ladies, if only everyone was as lovely and accepting x

 

[StonesWife]

I'm hoping that I can bring her up so she won't feel the need to "come out" so to speak, but will always be happy to tell me who she is dating. I don't think that it should be a big deal to her or me if she is dating a man or a woman.

I don't like to define people by who they fancy. I don't think sexuality can be defined as black and white. I think its all shades of grey and we are all capable of finding both sexes attractive or falling in love with someone of either sex if the circumstances in our lives are correct and especially when we are younger.

This is exactly how I feel. I couldn't say it better in my own words!

 

[xemmax]

i come from a family who never put any emphasis on gender, race, sexuality, age etc. it's difficult to describe my standpoint - i don't consider myself "accepting" of homosexuality because i barely notice. i don't understand society's focus on sexuality, or the things i mentioned previously. i'm completely non-judgemental when it comes to that because (i'm not sure how to phrase this) i just don't really care!

so if oli came to me when he was older and said he was gay, i'd probably say, "what's your point?" (of course i jest - i do understand how it can be hard for people to accept themselves and may need support, and i will always offer it. but i hope he'll have my line of thinking and not see his sexuality as an "issue" which requires acceptance.)

 

[louandivy]

i come from a family who never put any emphasis on gender, race, sexuality, age etc. it's difficult to describe my standpoint - i don't consider myself "accepting" of homosexuality because i barely notice. i don't understand society's focus on sexuality, or the things i mentioned previously. i'm completely non-judgemental when it comes to that because (i'm not sure how to phrase this) i just don't really care!

so if oli came to me when he was older and said he was gay, i'd probably say, "what's your point?" (of course i jest - i do understand how it can be hard for people to accept themselves and may need support, and i will always offer it. but i hope he'll have my line of thinking and not see his sexuality as an "issue" which requires acceptance.)

I agree. To me sexual preference is pretty much irrelevant to personality, I wouldn't feel the need to describe myself as straight to new people so why so much focus on homosexuals? Completely strange to me.

 

[aliss]

I only care that he treats his "OH" with love and respect, like the decent human being I want him to be. Whether or not that OH is a man or woman, no matter to me.

 

[xemmax]

i come from a family who never put any emphasis on gender, race, sexuality, age etc. it's difficult to describe my standpoint - i don't consider myself "accepting" of homosexuality because i barely notice. i don't understand society's focus on sexuality, or the things i mentioned previously. i'm completely non-judgemental when it comes to that because (i'm not sure how to phrase this) i just don't really care!

so if oli came to me when he was older and said he was gay, i'd probably say, "what's your point?" (of course i jest - i do understand how it can be hard for people to accept themselves and may need support, and i will always offer it. but i hope he'll have my line of thinking and not see his sexuality as an "issue" which requires acceptance.)

I agree. To me sexual preference is pretty much irrelevant to personality, I wouldn't feel the need to describe myself as straight to new people so why so much focus on homosexuals? Completely strange to me.

exactly! odd, isn't it? the phrase "get over it" springs to mind every time i hear a homophobic comment. move on! who really cares?

 

[leelee]

It wouldn't bother me at all.

I also don't like defining people by their sexuality.

 

[Jellyt]

I had a bad relationship with my parents and couldn't tell them anything. I know they wouldn't have accepted me if i'd have come out as gay. I spent a lot of my childhood telling myself that when I have kids i'll do it right and i'll do everything I can to make sure she never feels the way I did. I love her unconditionally and all that matters to me is that she's happy x

 

[aob1013]

If Leni turned around and said to me he was gay, I wouldn't batter an eyelid. I wouldn't care, as long as he is happy so am I.

 

[redpoppy]

i have a good friend and we always joke about being gay men in women's bodies (although seh wins hands down on the camp showtunes). But she always jokes that if she had kids and a son she'd be really upset if he wasn't gay. And although she's joking, I know she'd be pretty chuffed if he was.