Hello :) our journey begins

[bluebumble]

Thanks puppy mom. Your little one is so cute!

Ps I'm an Amy too

 

[Lolly1985]

Good for you losing weight and doing a cracking job There will always be something that they 'may' need to look into so if we are doing all we can to solve the problem then surely it'll be plain sailing... haha, am I deluded

I am hoping that if the debt is cleared and letter sent confirming this then we can make a start with some checks before prep. She did mention maybe start HS so not to hold things up, but I guess it depends on timings. I am hoping that this will get sorted soon, but am prepared to do a little chasing. If we have to wait til Oct though I'm ok with it, we have lots planned for summer. Will be nice to have a summer away from fertility appointments, clomid, IVFs etc and just enjoy before our next step. So excited

xxxxx

 

[Lolly1985]

Oh, and I agree, adoption uk does scare the cr*p outta me. there was a girl on there complaining about our VA. I went all the way back looking for details until I tortured myself senseless and decided to log off and not look again. Each case is unique so I decided to trust my instinct and hope that we will be ok, we have very different backgrounds etc. I have started a journal of fertility friends. Its a positive site like this one, although loads of people on there and I can't keep up

 

[bluebumble]

We are hoping to do lots this summer too (thats if we get a summer given this awful weather!) and get our house redecorated so at least it will keep us busy.

Does ff have an adoption section? I havent been on there before?

Are you on fb Lolly?

 

[Lolly1985]

Yeah, fertility friends is really good, it has a big section with adoption and fostering, parenting adopted children, adoption diaries and a resource section. Have a nosey! Yeah on FB, everyone is trying to get me to join twitter but I tried and I just don't get it haha! xxxxx

 

[bluebumble]

Oooh I will have a look tomorrow, it's bed time for me add me on fb if you can (Amy bell) I'm under Laura's friends list now

I don't get twitter either :-/

 

[Milty]

Do you ladies mind if I join you?

I'm in the US but I think Im just a bit further in the process but not much ...it's hard to say as its different than yours but definitely similar red tape and steps

 

[bluebumble]

Hi milky lovely to meet you where in the us are you? My hubby and I travelled round the us for 5 months in 2010, it was amazing

Where in the process are you now?

Amy
X

 

[Milty]

We have been meeting with our SW looking for a good match then I hit a snag with my fingerprint on one finger being bad but hopefully it will get fixed soon and we will be on our way...

 

[twinklycat]

Hi Lolly, bit of a personal question but could I ask if your debt was credit cards or loans? I'm worried as we each have an outstanding loan that this would weigh against us?

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi Tinklycat!

Don't worry, happy to help if I can as you want to be prepared for everything they may throw at you. It was loans, both myself and DF owned houses with ex partners and lost a fair bit when we had to sell up due to credit crunch. Plus my ex took all my furniture, well everything really, down to the cutlery so me and now DF had to both take loans out to get out of our joint mortgages and then to buy new stuff when we got our own place down the line. We have been paying them off ever since. We have amalgamated the debt and so have one monthly payment, but SWs (from LA and VA) both had concerns about affording to raise a child (even though we actively put into saving each month and are comfortable). I understand they need to be sure, but it honestly it was a shock when it was considered a problem. I guess a lot will depend on the figure and how many years you have left on the debt. Ours was three years, but not prepared to wait that long to be a mummy if I could help it. I have spoken to a women on another site who said she had £8000 of credit card debt and while they wanted her to evidence how it would not happen again (she did a statement of what she had learned and why it would not happen again) they allowed her to progress. I don't think there is a core guide on what is considered 'too much', it is SW judgement taking into account your incoming and outgoings with other bills etc.

Hope that helps a little. Feel free to ask any Qs or PM me xxx

 

[twinklycat]

Thanks Lolly! That's helped a lot, we have 3 years outstanding on our loans as well. We took them to do up our wreck of a house when we brought it a couple of years ago. I'm trying to work out a way that we can reduce them quickly (sell everything I own? lol!!) so at least won't be too big when we come to apply hopefully....xxx

 

[Lolly1985]

No probs! So are you definitely looking to adopt? It's just your status, avatar (whatever you call it ) says WTT. I hope that what ever you choose you find a way to sort out your finances. Its hard when you consider yourself stable with surpluss, but I can see why SWs have to be 100% confident that even if something went wrong you could support a child.

Lolly xxx

 

[twinkle458]

hi Ladies

Can i join you all please? Just posted our initial expression of interest forms and recieved a little letter saying that a SW will be in touch shortly...

Lolly - i have been lurking on FF and read about the lA in your area....gulp!

Lots of love xx

 

[Loski83]

Hi twinkle of course you can join and feel free to ask any question you want to, look forward to chatting with you Loski xx

 

[Lolly1985]

Hi and welcome!! I think that our LA are redeming themselves! Think that our original SW was quite negative as she was stressed and then went off sick so we had a delay. The lady I have spoken to since seems lovely so we are looking forward to meeting with her once we get confirmation our loan gets paid off. Wish it would hurry up already!!

 

[twinklycat]

Hi Lolly! Haha I have just noticed the WTT, I didn't know what to put and thought well we're waiting to try to adopt lol! I think i've managed to change it to 'other' now

We defo want to adopt, I've been back and forth r.e our own or others for a few years but adoption has always been my choice. It's really just the pressure from others that makes me sometimes consider having our own (we have no children already), but we have decided to be 'selfish' and do what we feel is right for our family and I shall not listen to what others may say any more

 

[bluebumble]

Hi All

Just wanted to pop by and say hello and say sorry for being MI for a while. Nice to see you are all doing well and Loski congratulations again!! fantastic news. Welcome newbies too

As for us, we have now finished prep and have had 2 home study visits. We are due to have our third one on Saturday which will be an extended one to cover more areas :-/

Its all getting real and going extremely fast! very exciting though.

I am now in a flap over having to have my medical now though dreading it is not the word!

x

 

[twinklycat]

Good luck with your medical! What do they check during it? I'm sure you will pass fine

 

[Loski83]

Good luck with medical if you want to ask anything about it I might be able to help x