Help. I don’t know what to do?

[LNWXO]

Hi everyone!

I never expected to be back here. Ever to be honest.

Bit of a back story...

I have suffered recurrent miscarriages since 2012, and in 2015 I fell pregnant with my first son. I then suffered PND and anxiety. Swore I would never have another baby as I much as I loved my son so much I was just far too scared to feel like that again. 2019 was a huge turning point, my mental health was good and I all of a sudden decided I was ready for another baby. I had a miscarriage and the following month fell pregnant with my second son who is currently nearly 10mo. Now... on Saturday I realised I was 4 days late on my period... absolutely petrified. But I thought... well I doubt il be pregnant that sorta thing just doesn’t happen to me. I have had to TRYYYYY to get my babies.

Well... I took a test and positive. I was and still am in so much shock.

I’m so stuck. I have been adamant for a couple of days that the best thing to do for me and our family is to end the pregnancy. But deep down I struggle to believe I’m even saying/thinking this. (I’m all for the choice of abortion) but from someone who has had recurrent miscarriages and who knows just how hard it is to make a baby I just feel like I’m messing with fate.

I’m now second guessing whether that is something we should do?

My husband is feeling the same as me.


Please don’t judge, I really can’t believe I’m in this situation. I feel so stupid as it is.


Someone help me please

 

[Babybump87]

Sorry for your past losses .

All I’m going to say is don’t rush into any decisions . Take your time and think about it!

Talk with your husband once you have both gotten over the shock and talk about it openly. Is this something you both want .

I hadPND and Anxiety after DD1 . Never wanted another child because the thought of going through PND and anxiety terrified me but the urge for a bigger family gave me the hope! I had the same after DD2 although not as bad and I knew how to handle it . We welcomed DS last year with no PND or anxiety ! It won’t always strike you down .

You got this ! Good luck xx

 

[mummy2lola]

No judgement here at all,I could’ve written this post lol definitely don’t rush yourself on this,because for ur mental health you need to be certain with the end result.i found myself in that position saying I would’ve do it ever again and once I saw the line I was a poas addict again and couldn’t believe I was thinking of ending it,then I would think maybe I could do this one last time,and back and fourth.i knew if I was going to make a decision it would need to be quick because the longer it went on the more I wouldn’t want to make a decision.urll know when u are ready,no one can make ur mind up for u,u will either look at that line and smile or look at it and feel a pit in ur stomach,maybe sit down with ur dh and talk through pros and cons and remember just because u had pnd doesn’t mean u will again and every pregnancy and every baby is different,gl xx

 

[Sander]

How are you doing LNWXO?

 

[HLx]

oh wow, congratulations! If I may add, I suffered PND on my first, and it did come back for my 3rd, but it wasn't half as bad. Also 3 children isn't as hard as it may seem! Good luck to you in whatever you decide x

 

[crazy4baby09]

I had PND and anxiety after having each of my 3 kids, it is hard. The way it hit me was different each time, but it helped knowing that I went through it before and knew how to handle it and when to ask for help. Please don't make a decision too quickly, let it settle over you for a bit to see how you really feel. Having 3 isnt too bad, it really helped me to see how much my older 2 adore thier baby sister. Hope you are well!

 

[LNWXO]

Thank you everyone!
So I rang bpas and got the pills by post, they came on Friday but over the weekend my husband was doing the 3 peak challenge so I wanted to wait until he was home to take the tablets.
Today was the planned day... we opened the box and I held the pill in my hand and burst into tears. We can’t do it. Although this baby wasn’t planned, we have so much love to give and we will love this baby regardless. I am going to continue to eat healthy and do light exercise to try and get physically and mentally ready for this little one. Xx

 

[Sander]

Aw LNXWO, I’m glad you were able to make a decision. I’m a firm believer that even when we think we’re 50/50 on something - when it actually comes down to making it happen we will sway towards what we wanted in our heart of hearts. I know that happened for me when choosing how to deliver Emmett.

Congratulations hun, I hope you have a happy and healthy pregnancy

 

[Bevziibubble]

Thread locked. Please do not mention abortion on BabyandBump out of respect and sensitivity for members who may be trying to conceive or have experienced losses etc.