Help me stop feeding through the night

[Ice Cold Cube]

Hi ladies

My LO is 10 months now, and any time she wakes in the evening or through the night she needs me to get her out her cot and feed her back to sleep. She's not hungry, she just needs the comfort really, and if it were once a night or even twice a night I think I'd be able to cope with it, but I'm back at work now and up at 6.30am on the days I'm working, my 3 year old is a dreadful sleeper as well, and to be perfectly honest I'm totally running on empty right now. I desperately need to get more sleep as she can have me up 3 or 4 times through the night and I won't be able to sustain this for much longer. I also can't ever go out in the evening or at night as she needs me to get her back to sleep.

How do I break this bad habit? She eats loads during the day - 3 good sized sold meals (2 courses each meal) plus 3-4 good breastfeeds from 7am to 7pm as well. I really don't think she needs the 3-4 feeds she's also getting through the night.

Would trying her with a dummy help? Should my OH try and settle her in her cot? I wouldn't ever leave her to cry but I predict she'll be very, very angry if she's not lifted and nursed whenever she wakes.

Any advice at all would be great xxx

 

[daneuse27]

That sounds super exhausting, I can't imagine how tired you must be.
I think that as with breaking most bad habits, weaning her off the feeding to sleep might be really hard for the first few nights, but she'll eventually get used to it and not need it anymore.

I fed my LO before bed until she was about a year old, and to sleep until she was about your LO's age. I wanted to break the association as well so that she wouldn't continue to be dependent on it. I would feed her in the bedroom beside her crib, and when she seemed to be drifting off I would turn off the lights, rock and sing to her, and when she was asleep in my arms, I put her into the cot.

This took ages and was very difficult at first; she would cry in my arms as I rocked her, as she still too wanted to be nursed to sleep, but she soon got the hang of it. We gradually went from me nursing and then rocking and putting her down to sleep, to to putting her down a little more alert each time. She now goes down awake and self settles and almost always STTN

I hope this was helpful and makes sense, let me know if you have other questions

 

[Ice Cold Cube]

That sounds super exhausting, I can't imagine how tired you must be.
I think that as with breaking most bad habits, weaning her off the feeding to sleep might be really hard for the first few nights, but she'll eventually get used to it and not need it anymore.

I fed my LO before bed until she was about a year old, and to sleep until she was about your LO's age. I wanted to break the association as well so that she wouldn't continue to be dependent on it. I would feed her in the bedroom beside her crib, and when she seemed to be drifting off I would turn off the lights, rock and sing to her, and when she was asleep in my arms, I put her into the cot.

This took ages and was very difficult at first; she would cry in my arms as I rocked her, as she still too wanted to be nursed to sleep, but she soon got the hang of it. We gradually went from me nursing and then rocking and putting her down to sleep, to to putting her down a little more alert each time. She now goes down awake and self settles and almost always STTN

I hope this was helpful and makes sense, let me know if you have other questions

Thank you, I will try this xxx

 

[Biotechick829]

Edit: Even though your post says your LO is 10 months old your signature might suggest she's 10 weeks old? My post in only geared towards babies who are at least 5 months old as that is probably the earliest you should ever try sleep training. Younger than that you may just need to grin and bare it or try supplementing with a pacifier.

It sounds like your LO might have a sleep dependency. I just went through this with my 5 month old. She would wake up 4+ times, same times every night and wanted to nurse, but she wasn't hungry. She'd use me as a crutch to fall asleep not realizing she could fall asleep on her own and was habitually waking up.

We finally bit the bullet and did the Ferber method last Friday and it has been THE BEST thing next to breastfeeding I have ever done for her and our family!!! Friday was the absolute hardest, but it has been smooth sailing since then. She's figured out how to self soothe (she sucks her thumb, not great but it works) and last night I did a dream feed at 10pm and she slept until 6am without a peep! She wakes up super happy (she talks to herself upon waking lol). She's also been able to put herself down for naps. We just kiss her and tell her goodnight, walk away, she might fuss for 1-2 min but then she's asleep. Last night she didn't make a sound after I put her in her crib.

I read this blog which layed things out very nicely and was an entertaining read: https://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html. The Ferber Method raises a lot of controversy, but honestly I think a lot of people misunderstand it (you don't just abandon your baby to cry all night). You have to follow the method precisely though.

 

[daneuse27]

Edit: Even though your post says your LO is 10 months old your signature might suggest she's 10 weeks old? My post in only geared towards babies who are at least 5 months old as that is probably the earliest you should ever try sleep training. Younger than that you may just need to grin and bare it or try supplementing with a pacifier.

It sounds like your LO might have a sleep dependency. I just went through this with my 5 month old. She would wake up 4+ times, same times every night and wanted to nurse, but she wasn't hungry. She'd use me as a crutch to fall asleep not realizing she could fall asleep on her own and was habitually waking up.

We finally bit the bullet and did the Ferber method last Friday and it has been THE BEST thing next to breastfeeding I have ever done for her and our family!!! Friday was the absolute hardest, but it has been smooth sailing since then. She's figured out how to self soothe (she sucks her thumb, not great but it works) and last night I did a dream feed at 10pm and she slept until 6am without a peep! She wakes up super happy (she talks to herself upon waking lol). She's also been able to put herself down for naps. We just kiss her and tell her goodnight, walk away, she might fuss for 1-2 min but then she's asleep. Last night she didn't make a sound after I put her in her crib.

I read this blog which layed things out very nicely and was an entertaining read: https://noobmommy.com/2008/11/to-ferberize-or-not-to-ferberize.html. The Ferber Method raises a lot of controversy, but honestly I think a lot of people misunderstand it (you don't just abandon your baby to cry all night). You have to follow the method precisely though.

I totally missed that her dig said 10 weeks old. Op, ignore my advice if I misread; I assumed she was 10 months old.

PS. Biotechick, our daughters have the same name

 

[Biotechick829]

Really Daneuse? It's such a beautiful name

Also, I'm cloth diapering as well

 

[Zephram]

She would be 10 months if born 10/01/13 - 10 January 2013!

Depends which way you're reading the date.

 

[Dream.dream]

At 10 months maybe try putting her back to sleep without a feed. Comfort her by singing rubbing her back or what ever else you can but don't feed . A lot of the time they stop waking up because they know they won't be fed

A soother might also work better if she's needs to suck for comfort . You could also try co sleeping and use the side lying position to sleep while baby nurses herself to sleep